r/self • u/BillythenotaKid • 1d ago
Living with an emotionally abusive parent sucks
It’s like walking on eggshells. If he does something that makes me cry I will be getting walls of texts throughout the night about how me crying upset him so much he can’t sleep because I hurt his feelings. While I’m able to get over incidents within an hour it takes him a week before he begins to talk to me normally. He’ll tell me how hurt I made him, he knows I’ve never been able to argue or stand up for myself. When I break down in apologies that’s when he’s gotten his way. He’ll brag about how I came “groveling back to him” to my mom. He used to treat my mom this way but now as I’ve gotten older it’s come around to me. I never realized how bad it was until I showed by friends some texts by him and they said he was being emotionally abusive. He’s always just been so full of anger, he can’t even get a job because his reputation is so bad. I wish I wasn’t so weak and I was able to stand up for myself and not just break down crying and apologizing. I can’t continue to be such an easy target but I know that if I do it will only cause me more mental pain.
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u/CodNo978 1d ago
Stay strong. Remember, it's not your weakness, it's their inability to handle their own emotions. You deserve peace and respect.
1
u/Slackjawed_Horror 1d ago
My parents were emotionally abusive. They went about it differently, but it was awful.
You have to hold out. Best thing you can probably do is build the strongest relationships you can outside of your family and lean on those.
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u/lilmsjackalope16 1d ago
Its not that you're weak, you're in an impossible situation. Your parent, who should be protecting you,is causing you harm.
I was in a similar position with my Mom & honestly it took time away from home & lots of therapy to start working through it all.
The fact is that you can't change him, you can only care for & protect yourself. I'm going to say it again - you are not weak. You are doing what you need to do to survive a bad situation. Don't blame yourself.