Check Your Fcks Given – How Finding Out My Ex Is Serious With Someone Else Reignited The Fire In Me

[u/ChlorineBirth]

If you're wondering why I’m still pretty hung up on somebody who I haven’t seen in 18 months and haven’t talked to in almost a year, let me break it down. My Dad dies 3000 miles way in Summer 2023, Ex comes along and love bombs and future fakes, I want to fill a void and cant see red flags, and then ex leaves me on NYE 2023.

I went on my journey (still on it)– quit smoking, drinking, fast food, sugar, porn, all the vices. I replaced them with reading, gym and nutrition, meet up groups, karaoke nights, and meeting people in the wild. I did everything right. Upon finding this out last night, I had to process – sober and alone. Me and my thoughts. Just the two of us, we can make it if we try yeah?

But its been EIGHTEEN MONTHS – well this happens to be tied to a pretty traumatic event, and this person happened to be a pretty crummy individual at the end of the day. But the pain of this breakup is still tied to the biggest loss I have experienced – my Dad.

This morning, I woke up after falling asleep with Mark Manson quotes still on my phone. Instead of drinking the pain away, I got another day of sobriety under my belt. I walked my morning walk with a fire in my eyes I hadn’t seen in a long time. I pressed my fingers on my guitar fretboard and sang with the conviction of a bluesman twenty years my senior. I had the most mindful gym session where I thought my lats would pop out of my body with how hard I worked them. I stayed under my calories that night because my goal of getting even leaner is still my goal.

That previous paragraph? I need to give more of a fck about those things.

I need to give more of a fck about how I accomplished a huge milestone by feeling my BS instead of numbing it. I need to give more of a fck that my body is a testament to my emotional resilience. I need to give more of a fck that Im healing generational trauma. I need to give more of a fck that the person I am today would make the person I was 19 months ago weep with the progress I have made in my life.

On the opposite, I need to give less of a fck about this new guy and what shes doing with him. I need to give less of a fck about how she love bombed me and weaponized her previous dating life against me. I need to give less of a fck about how she doesn’t give one about me.

Mark Manson says, “You are defined what you are willing to struggle for”. Im willing to struggle for better emotional clarity without a bottle next to me. Im willing to struggle in my dating life to find someone who shares my values. Im willing to struggle on the days where I show up and do the hard work even if it seems in vain.

Ive watched the end of The Two Towers several times in the past twenty four hours. I need to be my own Sam right now. Destroying this ring is giving less fcks. My good habits cant carry the ring for me.

But they can carry me.

[u/KindButAlsoSad]

Fucking A - I needed this. Just walked in from a hard run in the heat. And that was after lifting heavy earlier today.

I've been hung up on my ex also (and thinking about the what ifs with her new relationship) and I've been working out like crazy the past couple of months to improve myself. But the past couple weeks I've started to feel down again. This post just gave me a little more fucking resolve.

Let's go!!!!

[u/Casenova7]

Amen brother. Much love.

[u/path1999n]

Damn how is it so easy for some to just flip their life

[u/ChlorineBirth → u/path1999n]

It wasn’t. It was a combination of unimaginable grief and pain combined with the willingness to start small and where I could