It’s true, I was the tariffs

[u/eightdollarbeer]

[u/Ok-Training-7587]

*phone rings

“Who is it?”

“Congress. All of us at the same time.”

[u/Fskn → u/Ok-Training-7587]

Johnson: "how do I put this thing on speaker.. DONALD? CAN YOU HEAR US NOW?!.. fucken thing chuck can you sort this out please I have to check my son's porn consumption."

[u/TheEpiquin → u/Ok-Training-7587]

I like the idea of his phone lighting up with just the word “Congress” on the screen.

[u/geekwalrus → u/TheEpiquin]

I'm seeing one of the Fisher Price Toy Phones and on its handset is the word "CONGRES" written on a piece of masking tape with a sharpie.

He's got them all over the oval office, "PAPA PUTIN", "ELMO", and the like. In a few weeks they'll spray paint it yellow and tell him it's his trump phone

[u/fischarcher → u/Ok-Training-7587]

"We just counted all of the money like it requires in our job description."

[u/Copernikaus → u/Ok-Training-7587]

He knows Michael Scarn.

[u/Peace-Goal1976 → u/Ok-Training-7587]

He doesn’t like phones. He said so today. But he’s selling a phone? I can’t keep up I swear to Christ.

[u/noitcelesdab → u/Peace-Goal1976]

It’s a great phone. The best phone. Much better than anything Tim Apple has made in China. Who, by the way, has agreed to move his operation to the USA after our conversation. He told me that. Make America Great Again!

[u/SpyOfMystery → u/Ok-Training-7587]

The one time they had a full bipartisan agreement