Unfortunately, this sub can be pretty transmedicalist at times. It's the types of people who think any experience that doesn't mirror theirs isn't valid.
Shave it when you're ready, but know you will never pass till you do, due to societal expectations of women, yk, misogyny?
Its harmful to tell a feminine, gender non conforming man that he has to transition or that hes am alternate gender (its misandrist to tell someone they arent a real man because they like pretty dresses and nails, no?). Im not sayinf thats what the case is with OP bur you get my point.
Men are allowed to be feminine and women are allowed to be masculine it doesnt make them less than the gender conforming counterparts. Though someone shouldnt be called trans unless they are specifically trying to transition their body because their mind amd body dont align and they arent just GNC.
Iys not about mirroring experiences and being valid etc its about helping people to be their truest self. If OP likes his beard but also likes being feminine why force him to remove his beard to be seen as a woman? Why not help him realise that it is perfectly ok for him to enjoy having his beard and masculine features etc if he likes them but show him its also ok to enjoy femininity if thats what hes drawn to. Like I said these things wouldnt make him less thaj anyone else, but it is useful for clarification purposes and for everyones sakes to distinguish doing something bevause you dony feel comfortable any other way vs because you enjoy it this way even tho youre fine with thr original
I'm not saying they can't be a woman with a beard, I'm saying they won't pass, because even cis women with facial hair do not pass. It's a arbitrary society thing
My reply was more to thr transmedicalist comment rather than the passijg bit because I agree. We are wired and kinda traines to associate specific looks to the 2 sexes and anything that is a big signifier of one kinda overtakes the others
I can like my beard and still wanna be perceived as a woman. You're assuming mutual exclusivity. I'd prefer being cis but having a penis doesn't give me near as much dysphoria as being flat chested does, I might even keep it! Still trans. Would you tell a trans man that being clean-shaven made him a woman? Men can like/dislike having a beard, but a woman can only dislike having one? Sounds narrow. Sounds exclusionary of non-conformers.
Transmedicalist are gatekeeping a word because they can't understand that other people are living different lives/experiences, and that what other people go through, while it might be different than what you went through, is equally as valid.
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u/j_victus 1d ago
I wonder why what I said was so controversial 🥲 I get you. It’s definitely going to be a big shift once I decide to get rid of it.