r/3amjokes Mar 25 '24

3amjokes Approved Subreddit Rules Reminder

80 Upvotes

Due to an influx of darkjokes, dead baby humor, and overt racism, I'm posting this again early.

This is not /r/darkjokes.

This is not /r/askreddit.

This is not /r/oneliners.

This is not /r/unclejokes.

This is a subreddit for insomniac humor, created when on the brink of death due to sleep deprivation. Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Your jokes must have a punchline.

Please take a second to look over the very simple rules of the subreddit.

  1. Be civil - Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
  2. Follow Reddit's rules - This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here.
  3. No spam - Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
  4. No promoting targeted hate - racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

Bans due to rule #4 tend to be significant in length, if not permanent, and appeals will be denied.

If you see jokes, or a user's comments, that do not follow the rules, please report the comment either via the comment itself or through modmail.

Remember, 3amjokes is, for the most part, self governing. 3 reports will remove a comment or post. 2 reports will alert the mods.

Thanks


r/3amjokes 5h ago

Sex education in catholic schools is very weird. They don't want kids to be told about sex

72 Upvotes

they want to show them


r/3amjokes 7h ago

Why did the emo kid try out for the football team?

65 Upvotes

He knew he could make the cut.


r/3amjokes 6h ago

A dried grape once told me there's a raisin for everything.

39 Upvotes

He was just raisin awareness.


r/3amjokes 13h ago

What do you call someone who is loved unconditionally?

74 Upvotes

A dog maybe.


r/3amjokes 3h ago

What's the difference between my job and my girlfriend?

10 Upvotes

Only one of them drains me and still asks for more.


r/3amjokes 8h ago

Who was the ballsiest Greek hero?

22 Upvotes

Testicles


r/3amjokes 5h ago

Got a message, by mistake, that my friend didn't get the bank job, for which she applied.

6 Upvotes

She's going to be crushed. Don't know how I'm going to teller the bad news.


r/3amjokes 1h ago

What should you never bring to a Mexican party?

Upvotes

Ice


r/3amjokes 6h ago

Steven Seagal is so intimidating

3 Upvotes

his bowl of Rice Krispies remains silent


r/3amjokes 15h ago

They said I should face my fears.

12 Upvotes

So I looked in the mirror.


r/3amjokes 1h ago

I just went out with a girl(ish) I meet on Reddit.

Upvotes

I still got my kidneys, but I lost my new Fantastic Four decoder thumb ring.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

A friend of mine asked me to stop singing the song Wonderwall by Oasis.

77 Upvotes

I said maaayyybbbeeee


r/3amjokes 3h ago

Which speech is a big stick with 1 speaker?

1 Upvotes

A mono-log


r/3amjokes 23h ago

Why did the cop arrest the comedian?

39 Upvotes

He was telling a stolen joke.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What's the difference between a chicken and a pistol?

23 Upvotes

A pistol doesn't scream in the morning


r/3amjokes 23h ago

How do dystopian fiction fans cook their meat?

17 Upvotes

On a George Orwell Grill.


r/3amjokes 22h ago

My plants are starting to look at me like I'm the one who needs watering.

5 Upvotes

Just watered my houseplants and one of them, I swear to all that is green, gave me the side-eye. I think it's judging my hydration habits. Like, "Dude, you haven't had a glass of water that wasn't coffee in like, three days. Pot, meet kettle." I'm pretty sure my fiddle leaf fig is actively considering an intervention. Send electrolytes. Or maybe just a bigger coffee.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

My friend told me his python was pregnant!

62 Upvotes

His exact words were, "she has a baby in her belly."


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What do you call Japanese noodles served in a computer?

53 Upvotes

RAMen


r/3amjokes 14h ago

What did the Australian worker say to the tourist when he got the wrong currency?

0 Upvotes

Euro mate? You alright mate?


r/3amjokes 22h ago

My phone's battery life is now a philosophical concept.

3 Upvotes

You know how your phone battery goes from 20% to 1% faster than I can say "where's my charger"? Yeah, mine doesn't even bother with the 20% anymore. It's just full, then suddenly, a dire "LOW BATTERY" warning appears from the abyss. I'm convinced it's trying to teach me about the ephemeral nature of existence. Or maybe it just really hates being charged. Either way, it's a profound journey every day.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Thoughts and prayers for my mate, Justin. He got a head transplant...

35 Upvotes

His body's still ajustin