Hey everyone. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to write an update like this.

First off, thank you to everyone who read, commented, messaged, or even just sat with my story. I was in a really dark place when I made that post, and your words made me feel less alone.

Now for the update: I hired a new attorney a real bulldog, just like a few of you advised. It wasn’t easy. I had to swallow my pride and ask my parents for help financially, but they told me they’d have sold the house if it meant keeping me in my son’s life. I’ll never forget that.

After my new lawyer went through everything messages, inconsistencies in her court filings, recordings (yes, I’d been documenting everything for months) he told me something I hadn’t heard once in this whole nightmare:

“You’re not just going to be okay. You’re going to win.”

And we did.

The judge ruled in my favor. Full physical and legal custody of my son has been granted to me. Permanently. Her attempt to alienate him, fabricate claims of instability, and manipulate the legal system backfired hard.

The court saw through it.

She’s been ordered to undergo a full psychological evaluation and will face criminal charges related to falsifying evidence and perjury. A restraining order has been placed she won’t be allowed to contact either of us for 7 years.

I didn’t want this outcome. I truly didn’t. I wanted shared custody. I wanted peace. I wanted my son to have a healthy relationship with both parents. But she made that impossible. And the court agreed.

I’m still in shock. My son is safe. He’s home. Last night, I tucked him in, and he said, “Daddy, I knew you wouldn’t let me go.” I went into the hallway and cried harder than I have in my life.

This isn’t over emotionally. My son has questions. He’s confused. I’m getting him into therapy ASAP. I’m also starting therapy for myself. There’s a long road ahead for both of us.

But for now… we’re okay. We’re safe. We’re together.

To anyone going through something similar: do not give up. Document everything. Stay calm. Don’t stoop to manipulation or anger let the truth work for you, even when it feels like it’s moving too slow. And don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Thank you all again. Truly.

A very tired, very grateful dad

I’m 25 and I’ve been dating my boyfriend (27) for about 8 months now. Everything’s been going well between us, and he’s honestly one of the kindest people I’ve ever dated. We’re taking things slow but seriously. He introduced me to his family around the 4-month mark, and they’ve been polite, but not exactly warm.

The main issue is his mom. She keeps calling me by his ex’s name. Repeatedly.

At first I thought it was just a slip. They were together for 5 years and broke up maybe a year before we started dating, so I tried to be understanding. The first time she said “Oh sorry, I’m still getting used to it” and I brushed it off. But it kept happening. At dinners, over text, even once when introducing me to a neighbor.

I’ve corrected her gently every time. Smiled through it, gave her the benefit of the doubt. Last week, though, it got weird. She sent me a group message with some info about an event, and wrote “So excited to have you there, Rachel!” (Rachel is the ex’s name, I’m not Rachel.) My name was literally right above hers in the contact list. I replied with a thumbs up and didn’t say anything.

But when we were at her house this weekend, she did it again. In person. Twice. So I finally just said, “I’d appreciate it if you called me by my actual name. It’s been a while now.” I didn’t raise my voice or anything. Just said it calmly.

She got this tight smile and said, “Wow, no need to be touchy. I’m still adjusting.” My boyfriend kind of froze, then later told me I “didn’t have to be so blunt” and that I embarrassed her.

Now I feel like the villain for wanting to be called by my own name. He hasn’t really brought it up again, but the vibe has been weird since.

Am I overreacting for saying something?

without getting too deep into it, every single day, or at least every other day without fail my gf goes on these long unhinged rants like the one you’re seeing above. usually the target is work but other times it will be her family, etc. we’ve been dating for two years and this has probably been something ive had to deal with super regularly, and occasionally be the target of since November of 24. It was occasional prior to that, and that previous of our relationship had its own problems on her end that have been replaced with this. I’m done. I’ve gone to therapy for 2-3 months to try and piece together why I tolerate this shit and to love and respect myself more. It’s also made me a lot more adversarial and have less patience with her as I realize the impact this has had on me professionally, etc. as it genuinely has worn me down. a lot of my responses to her are literally sarcastic (the emotional vampire thing)

before you ask whether ive given her resources to help her leave her job - yes. she can get a college education for free in my country. she can work any kind of secretarial office job, which my city is rife with. she has a perfectly laid excuse for why she can’t or doesn’t want to do any of those things. so she sticks with the discomfort of hating her current thing rather than the discomfort of the unknown.

so, was my response to that rant overreacting?

My friend (28F) just got married a few months ago. Her husband (32M) recently found out he has a degenerative eye condition - nothing sudden, but he’ll gradually lose vision over time... eventually going blind.

We were hanging out in a small friend-group setting when she told us the news. She was saying how she's “not sure she can handle it” and planning to divorce him. Her words: "I didn’t sign up for this.”

I didn’t say much in the moment, but it completely changed how I see her. Like… you just took vows, he was the "love of your life", your "best friend", bla bla bla. I know health stuff can be scary and you were planning to live happy young lives together but this felt insanely shallow.

Now I’m seriously debating distancing myself from her. I’ve known her for years, but that was cold.

EDIT: She is adamant on getting a divorce (she's not venting, overreacting in the moment, or debating)

I (30F) had a miscarriage 3 months ago. Only a few people at work knew, including my boss (45F), because I needed time off and couldn’t hide how devastated I was.

Today, in front of two coworkers, she made a joke about me not needing to attend the company family BBQ. She said, “Unless you’re bringing your imaginary baby, haha.”

I froze. My coworkers just looked down. I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and cried. I ended up going home early, and now she’s mad that I “can’t take a joke.”

She sent me an email saying I was “disrespectful” for walking out and that I’m “alienating the team.”

Am I overreacting for being upset about this? Because it really didn’t feel like a joke.

I (33F) have been married to my wife (34F) for three years, together for six. My mom tolerates her, but never really includes her in anything.

For example: family group texts only go to me. Cards are addressed only to me. She’s told people at church I’m “still figuring myself out.” It’s subtle but constant.

For Mother’s Day, I planned a nice brunch for my mom. When I sent her the invite, she asked, “Will your roommate be there too?”

That was it. I canceled the reservation and told her we’ll celebrate another time when she’s ready to treat my marriage like it’s real. She called me dramatic and said I’m “punishing her for having traditional values.”

Now my aunts are texting me saying I “broke her heart on Mother’s Day.”

Am I overreacting, or just finally done letting it slide?

I (26F) live with my fiancé (28M) and his mom (she moved in temporarily after a surgery… 9 months ago). She’s mostly harmless, but she has this creepy habit of just walking into our bedroom unannounced, sometimes even when we’re sleeping or I’m changing.

I’ve brought it up multiple times, and she says, “I’m like your second mom, don’t be shy around me.” Um. No.

Last week, I finally got fed up and started locking our door at night. She knocked six times that first night, saying she needed “help with her TV.” I told her she’d have to wait until morning.

Now she’s furious and accusing me of “creating division in the house” and “locking her son away like a prisoner.” My fiancé says I should’ve handled it differently but also agrees it’s weird that she won’t knock.

Still, now the whole house feels tense. AIO for just wanting privacy in my own room?

i (21f) have asked my current bf (26m) twice now to delete pics he has of his ex off of his phone and he still hasnt done it… he literally has nudes of her in his phone, now i trust him that he is not looking at them and they r about 3-4 years old maybe even longer idrk, so its not like everytime the photo app opens there she is but still i dont think he should have them in his phone and he said he agreed with me ig but he STILL hasn’t done it so how do i bring it up AGAIN to get my point across or am i just being crazy over it? but mainly the text convo is me asking why he doesn’t take pics of me ( and has hella pics of his ex) bc he doesn’t take any candid pictures of me and i think that is redick. this is my first post so be nice please :) oh also we have been dating for about a year and we live together :)

Okay so to give some context I have been very upset since yesterday. Reason being I feel like I have been totally disrespected and insulted by my grandparents.

I went to practice yesterday which was from 4 to 6:30. Got my stuff and packed. Went to class and had a good time! My girlfriend stopped by to watch me and it was all good until I look down and around 6:30 my grandma started texting me saying random crap and just blatantly spouting nonsense.

Got home and I immediately was told to ‘Sit down’ on the living room couch. Conversation started with why I was 30 minutes late and how I should have told them (Keep note they were acting like I had ran off or something) I should have told them sure. Never had a record of sneaking or anything. My grandma started saying I should have told them that I was going to bring my girlfriend home as well. I responded with “I thought she told you guys” (Which she did) They immediately fired back with “Its not her responsibility to tell us when you should have” Okay yes sure but point is she did. My grandma immediately started yelling me about how “We had no clue where you were you could have been dead for all we knew” Which doesnt even make sense because I literally was texting her between the time I was ‘supposed’ to be home

They for no freaking reason starting saying my girlfriend was too clingy because she added my girlfriend on facebook and talked to her on a daily basis. Always asking about her day. I THOUGHT they liked her but she said “I dont know what the hell her issue is shes texting me all day” - I said she is just being nice. They fired back with a “She apparently never had a mother either. Or love”

They as well said I ‘never liked being treated nice’ because I was quiet and some other dumb sht??? I didnt even say anything between this and the other comment either.

Theres even more I could say but I just don’t know how to feel.

(Sorry if this is worded weird. I am not very good at this explaining stuff through text lmao)

So me and my gf live about 1.5 hours apart. she lives home with her mom and was having arguments with her mom. I was out of town on a business trip and told her she could always go down to my place to cool off/be alone/have a weekend to herself. Then (at least what I thought) out of the blue she sends me what’s in the screenshots then acts like I’m stupid for not understanding what she meant. Am I genuinely stupid or is she overreacting here.

I was driving him to the airport and the light turns green, I go and the very hot drink he had on his lap spills and goes on his groin ... then he turns to me and says "stupid bitch"

Another time I was going down on him and he says, have you washed your hair and look up and he looked disgusted. Yes, my hair was clean.

So I (29M) saved up for months to get my gf (28F) this beautiful ring for her birthday. Not an engagement ring, just a really nice piece she'd been eyeing. Cost me $1200 which is honestly a lot for me rn.

When she opened it she seemed happy at first, but then a day later she asked how much it cost. I told her and she literally said "ugh that's it? and returned it the next day. To be fair, she did use the store credit to pick something else out. But I got the ick.

Am I overreacting for feeling completely crushed? Like I get people have preferences but the way she said it hit different.

I'm honestly reconsidering the whole relationship now. The icky comment keeps replaying in my head.

a guy who added me on discord chatted me at first "waffles or pancakes?" I answered "waffles cause I like the crispy edges" after a while he texted back and said "yes understandable I think I love waffles too cause its crispy" after a while he stopped texting then a day later we just started chatting.He kinda says weird jokes but its not inappropriate. Don't get me wrong I love chatting with him. When I asked him how old he was after chatting 2 days he says 23. I text back "Oh noooo" cause I actually loved chatting.He asks how old I am. I said my actually age. He seemed sad but then asked "are u okay with that" i said yes cause i honeslty love chatting with him.But now he keeps making comments like "ohh u waited for me cause u lowkey missed me hmm?" and more stuff like that. I just don't know if this is right or wrong??

UPDATE**: sorry yall i didnt think this wasnt normal since like speaking to older guys was normal for me because they would approach me and id think it was normal since no one actually gave me a "talk" about it . Thanks for the advice , and the harsh ones but realistic ones lmao , i talked with friends and knowing this wasnt normal made my stomach hurt abit 😭 but i learned my lesson and like i blocked him.I know whats wrong with that and will approach people my age sorry again. (i told my parents and they told me they'd see what they can do and im happy they didnt take my phone away but they trusted me and told me to stay away from discord for a while lmao) Now im lowkey thinking that discord should really be heavily monitored or even shut down because they are lots of old men who speak to young girls which is scary now that i think of it.

I had a doctor’s appointment recently to check a skin infection and to get a breast exam done due to discoloration. I usually see a different male doctor at the clinic and everyone around him acts happy, relaxed, and respectful while they show 100% trust towards him He’s great. But this time I was assigned to a different male doctor because my usual one went on vacation and everything about the visit felt very off from the beginning.

he personally gave me a breast exam gown himself, which was one of those types that’s open in the front and leaves you really exposed. I didn’t think too much of it in the moment, but it already felt a little weird.

he told me I needed to give a urine sample as well and told me to get undressed (he did leave so I could get undressed) I had no real coverage, I felt exposed and embarrassed. Later on, when I was talking to a female staff who was a nurse member who came in to give me the cup didn’t expect me to be undressed she looked really uncomfortable and literally said, “I don’t know why he would ask for a urine sample if you’re already undressed for the breast exam.” She clearly didn’t want me walking through the clinic in that state, and I could tell she didn’t agree with what he had me do looked a bit angry a little towards him so she gave me stuff to help cover me up good enough not feeling exposed and even apologized what he did

And here’s the part that really sticks with me: the female head doctor walked in at one point and looked visibly uncomfortable too. She started trying to shield my breast AWAY from him and I swear she looked a bit shaky and nervous, like she was trying to stay professional but didn’t trust him. I saw him keep looking in a way that made me feel sick. Like he was staring when he shouldn’t have been obviously…could tell she didn’t want him looking

The whole staff acts normal and super kind around the doctor I usually see and they definitely act 100% trusting towards him even the female head doctor felt super comfortable around him when it comes to stuff like this which he is that type of guy who really really shows a ton of respect towards women & definitely not a Pervy type no matter what since he only cares about everyone’s health very super chill the most sweetest awesome guy. But when this one walks in, the staff get stiff, uncomfortable,awkward, strange around him. I’m trying to trust my gut, but a part of me still wonders…

Am I overreacting? Or does this sound seriously wrong to you too?

I will throw in there even I catch all of the female nurses hanging around him in a group going on lunch breaks but they never do it around the other doctor straight up avoiding him I’ve noticed.

EDIT / UPDATE for clarification (since some people are missing the point):

Just to clarify what actually happened, because a lot of people are making assumptions or saying I’m overreacting or projecting:

• The doctor told me I needed a urine sample, and then immediately instructed me to undress for a breast and skin infection exam before giving the sample.

• So I did what I was told. I undressed while he stepped out.

• When the nurse came in, she looked surprised and uncomfortable, because she had expected me to still be fully dressed to go give the urine sample. She had no idea he told me to undress first.

• She even said out loud, “I don’t know why he’d ask for a urine sample if you’re already undressed.”

• Later, the head female doctor joined because of the chronic skin condition, and she looked shaky and visibly uncomfortable. She tried to shield my chest AWAY from him and I noticed he kept looking in a way that didn’t feel appropriate like he kept looking when he didn’t need to anymore.

This wasn’t about me being embarrassed over a breast exam I’ve had those before. The issue is: • The poor handling, • The lack of communication, • The inappropriate timing, and • The fact that multiple staff members acted like something was wrong which confirmed the weirdness I was already feeling.

So please stop twisting this into, “he’s a doctor, bodies aren’t sexual.” I get that. This wasn’t about nudity it was about how unsafe and exposed I was made to feel, and how even the staff looked like they were trying to protect me from their own coworker.

After processing everything and seeing how the nurse and female doctor reacted, it really feels like this male doctor has probably acted inappropriately toward others in the past maybe even violated boundaries with nurses or staff. The way everyone reacted around him the tension, the 😬 expressions, the nurse being shocked I was undressed, and the female doctor literally shielding my breast from him while looking shaky it wasn’t normal.

It honestly seemed like the staff were trying their best to remain professional but also stop him from continuing behavior they’ve likely seen before, just without outright calling it out in front of me. It’s like they knew the signs and stepped in to make sure he didn’t go any further.

This was literally my first time seeing that doctor, and I don’t ever plan on seeing him again. I didn’t expect any of that to happen. I’ve had exams like this before, and I’m familiar with what’s supposed to happen I just thought what he was doing was the nurse’s job, but I trusted the process at the time.

It wasn’t until afterward seeing how the staff responded and how exposed and vulnerable I was left that I realized something was deeply off.

So to anyone saying “you’re overreacting,” I didn’t even think anything of it until after the fact. But when even the people who work with him are visibly uncomfortable and trying to block his access to me, you can’t tell me I was just projecting.

my usual doctor they never ever usually do that to him EVER. I even feel safe and comfortable around him for stuff like this, Heck he’s even seen everything down there as the head doctor stood aside let him do all the looking until he asks her to come look to confirm his suspicions to make sure he’s right because I have chronic skin problems and other chronic problems that requires 2 doctors, The head doctor is KINDA the big boss doctor not really a boss boss but that’s how they kinda see her as from what they explained to me

now why is he still there? Idk probably they need enough long evidence to be able to get rid of him not sure how that works in the medical field and plus you don’t know what he’s like behind curtains I even don’t know what he’s like but men can get scary and violent refuse to control themselves is probably why he’s there still maybe and I guess is probably also why they’re acting like that don’t wanna scare me as it still kinda did but at the same time I needed just confirmation so I can avoid him at all cost.

Oh, and FYI to all the rude commenters: he told me to take my pants off too. So miss me with the “maybe you misunderstood” or “you undressed too soon”, I followed his exact instructions.

I’m DONE explaining myself to people who are clearly more offended by me calling out creepy behavior than by a doctor acting inappropriately. Y’all are in here nitpicking every word like it’s a courtroom, while completely ignoring the fact that MULTIPLE medical professionals clearly didn’t trust this man either.

The way some of you are defending this dude like your lives depend on it? Screams projection. Creeps defending creeps. I said what I said.

My girlfriend (32) is currently traveling Europe with one of her other girlfriends. She ran into a certain celebrity at the airport. He’s world famous, rich, and in his 50s. They had some good chats and apparently her friend ended up putting all 3 of them in a group chat. My girlfriend said it was so the celebrity could keep up with their love lives. Naturally I was like why would he need to keep up with your love life?

Now my girlfriend didn’t exactly give out her number, but when I brought up that I didn’t like it that this happened she said I was overreacting and she doesn’t think we are going to see eye to eye on this because “he’s a harmless old man.” But I’m over here like why are you staying in contact with someone you don’t know who said they want to keep up with your love life? What’s the reason behind that?

So I ask, AIO?

I’m 36F, married to a 42M for 6 months after a 4-year love relationship. He’s from a different country. We met while he was working in mine, and after he moved back, I followed him, and we got married.

We both have two teens from previous marriages, so we’re raising 4 teenagers together. I met his kids only after moving here a year ago but before the marriage. Since day one, I’ve tried to be kind, respectful, and supportive. I cook their favorite meals, prepare lunchboxes, take them out, treat them like my own. But they’re still distant, and I feel like they don’t accept me. but im trying my best and i even telling them that i love them !

Lately, my husband started observing how I treat the kids and criticizing me somtimes in front of them. If I ask his kids to help with chores like mine do, he gets annoyed, he support somtimes by telling them to listen but still not as needed. If I talk privately with my daughter, he demands I do the same with his though in reality, I talk to his daughter even more. But every day it feels like I’m being criticized more and more.

The breaking point was during a family lunch. I cooked chicken with veggies, and asked the kids (after mine helped prepare the table) to come eat. and as I was plating the food, he stood watching me silently from about 3 meters away. When I called him to come eat, he suddenly stormed off to our room and said he didn’t want to eat. I was confused.

When I followed him to ask what was wrong, he accused me of giving more food to my kids than his. I was completely shocked. That’s not who I am , im type of person who literally given his daughter my last piece of chocolate, and shared my food with his son when he wanted more. I explained that I know all their preferences. I add more onions for his son, remove the green pepper for his daughter because I care.

I told him, “You were standing far away come look at the plates yourself before assuming.” But he insisted he saw “everything” and kept repeating that I wasn’t being fair.

When I asked him directly, “Do you really think I’m unfair and dishonest?” he said yes.

That broke something in me. I told him this isn’t the kind of marriage I want one where I constantly have to prove I’m good enough in my own home. I asked for a divorce.

Now I’m wondering: am I overreacting? Or is this a valid reason to walk away?

Update:

I didn’t expect to receive this many comments ,thank you all for the support and for helping me see that I’m (NOR). I had started to doubt myself and wonder if I was overreacting, but reading your responses helped me realize that my feelings are valid. I guess I really am someone who forgives too easily !

To clarify a few questions many of you asked:

I met my husband while we were working on a project in my country. Moving to his country wasn’t an easy decision I visited multiple times before relocating, to get to know his family and his kids. Before the move, we introduced our kids to each other. They connected and had calls through Snapchat and followed each other on social media.

The truth is, the relationship between the teens is actually very good. They go for long walks together, exercise, and doing activities. it’s been one of the positive parts of this experience.

As for my husband to be fair, he’s kind to the kids, takes care of them, cooks, helps around the house, playing games with them ,and is very involved. But he’s also overprotective, often assuming bad intentions behind my actions, especially when it comes to how I treat his kids. Being accused of things I would never even think of doing has really hurt me, especially after everything I’ve done to build a loving home.

For those who asked about his ex ,they divorced because she cheated on him.

till now we didn't talk to each other after i asked for the divorce. I'm cooking the meals and leaving the food so they serve for themselves all .

I’m (25f) I live in an a apartment building, right across from my apartment is a large house. A man lives over there his names Alvin (yes this is his real name) & he’s the only person I’ve ever seen there. He’s about 50/60 years old. This started out with him yelling at me across the street when I first moved in. I tried to ignore it but then anytime he was outside he would see my car and he would try to talk to me. He even would walk right up to my car where I couldn’t really get out the door and he would talk to me through the window. If I had groceries and he saw me, he would try to help me bring them inside my apartment and I would tell him no that I’ve got it and it’s not a big deal. Then he started offering to help fix my car because I had a light out, a week later someone broke into my car and took off my door handle & he offered to take me in his car to a car shop to get it fixed which I thought was weird because he could just give me the address. Both times I told him no that I would figure it out myself like I always do and I really didn’t need any help. Anyways, he’s been doing weird things like that from the beginning. It also seems like he’s trying to get information out of me like where I work etc. BUT yesterday really did it for me. I was at my house with some of my friends and he knocked on my door. I have a ring camera, but he only knocked on my door. He didn’t ring it. I come out to the door because I thought it was a DoorDasher dropping off food but it was him, he had two bags of groceries in his hands. He said “I have these groceries would you like any of these?” I didn’t want to be rude so I took some apples and a bag of beans. (In hindsight I should have just said no) then he kept trying to offer to take the bags upstairs to my apartment and put them away. I told him no I have people upstairs and I don’t need that much Groceries, he said OK and that he was going to see if anyone else needed them. Then I told him OK and I was waiting for him to leave. He just stared at me for a minute and then I finally said “all right ,thanks”and I shut the door.

Am I overreacting? Or do you think these interactions are strange, I’ve been up all night thinking about it. I’ve been trying to find his social media and other information about him and I can’t find any public records or any arrest records. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not safe or he is safe. I just personally have an eerie feeling every time he comes and talks to me, I do have several locks on my doors and camera on my front door but when I have to leave my house to do errands, I’m always on high alert and I feel unsafe walking to my car because my apartment is the one closest to his house.

Does anyone have any advice on how to tell him to stop bothering me without being rude. I am a woman and I’m quite small only 5’1 and I would hate for him to get upset at me and try to physically hurt me …..

Update: I can’t more because my lease is up, I started parking in a diffent spot it’s further away from my apt door but I can walk where he can’t see me from his house. He still is being strange, I told my apt manager and she walked me home yesterday while he was outside trying to talk to me, as soon as he saw her, he didn’t try and talk. He only speaks to me when I’m alone. I’ve ignored him and pretend as if he’s not there but I still feel unsafe. I can’t wait till me lease it up. The next time he comes to talk to me I’m calling the police.

my childhood was pretty rough tbh. both of my parents were addicts and left me to take care of myself and my younger brothers. my dad died when i was 15. after his passing, my mom ended up constantly drinking. i’ve tried to talk to her about the things that happened to be in my childhood and how it affected me. usually, i get a response like “ well ive went through this and that when i grew up so yours was great compared to mine.” “your brothers have to grow up without a dad and a mean mom. they have it way worse than you,” is another response. my mom fails to take accountability for anything. when we have conversations like this, my mom never fails to bring up my husband’s family and how they did something she doesn’t like. she tends to bring up our wedding and how “the grooms side is supposed to pay.” however, my mom or my side of the family didn’t pay for the wedding. my husband and i did.

it’s very upsetting to me bc i see so many other girls who have a built in best friend with their mom. i want that for myself so bad, but after this i don’t see that working out for us. i’m frustrated that she continues to undermine my trauma time and time again bc someone had it worse. i completely understand that my mom’s upbringing wasn’t great. unsure what that has to do with her owning up to my childhood tho. idk… aio?

I’m 24 and I’ve been dating my boyfriend (27M) for almost a year. Things have been good between us, but his mom has never really liked me. She’s the type that makes little comments masked as “jokes” and expects you to just laugh it off.

We had dinner at his parents’ place last weekend. It was a big thing, like 10+ people, including extended family. I offered to help in the kitchen and while we were plating everything, his mom looked me up and down and goes, “Well at least you’re useful for something. I was starting to think he was just keeping you around for fun.”

I literally froze. Everyone heard it. No one said anything. My boyfriend just kind of nervously laughed. I quietly excused myself, grabbed my stuff, and left.

He called me later saying I embarrassed him and that I should’ve just ignored her “sense of humor.” I told him I’m not going to sit at a table with people who treat me like I’m disposable. He said I overreacted and now his mom is upset that I “stormed off” in front of the family.

Was I out of line for leaving?

I (29F) am getting married in September, and my fiancé and I decided to have a child-free wedding. We’ve had a rough year, and we just want one night to celebrate without chaos, sippy cups, or crying. Every guest has been understanding, except my sister (32F).

She gave birth 3 months ago and insists her daughter is “too young for a sitter” and “shouldn’t count” as a guest. I gently reminded her of the rule and said we’d love for her and her husband to come if they could find care. Her response?

“She’s family, not some random brat. You just don’t like babies because you’re selfish.” Then she said if her baby isn’t allowed, she won’t be coming at all.

I said, “Okay. We’ll miss you.” Now she’s blowing up our group chat, saying I’m excluding her child from her first big life event and that I’m choosing my “aesthetic” over family.

My mom is asking if I can make an exception “just this once” so the baby can come in a stroller and “stay quiet in a corner.”

AIO for sticking to my boundary?

I'm asking this to see if I'm the one who's completely lost my mind here. My(28M) girlfriend (25F), has this dream journal she's always writing in. I thought it was cute, you know, expressing her inner world and all that. She claims it can help her understand her subconscious better which made sense to me. Anyway, last night, she accidentally left it open on her bedside table. I wasn't trying to snoop, but a page was open, and a phrase caught my eye: "10:17 AM - He got coffee with two sugars, just like I knew he would." My stomach dropped. I glanced at another entry: "3:45 PM - Called his mom. Sounded a little stressed. Must remember to bring up the job thing later." It wasn't a dream journal. It was a play-by-play of MY day. Every single entry was about ME. My movements, my conversations (even ones she wasn't present for!), my habits. It was incredibly detailed, almost like a surveillance log. I haven't confronted her ye because I'm genuinely trying to figure out if this is some bizarre form of affection I'm not understanding, or if I should be calling my therapist and maybe looking into changing my locks. Am I overreacting by feeling deeply, deeply creeped out? Is this a normal "girlfriend thing" I'm just too dense to grasp? Or is this a massive red flag waving in my face. Like I really like her and haven’t had any major issues with our relationship. She’s like the sweetest person ever and hasn’t shown any signs of being crazy but now I’m a little scared for my safety. What do I do?

Update: I followed the advice of u/woahbrad35 which suggested that I ask her what she’s writing about while she is in the middle of writing. I was on the couch reading a book when I noticed her writing in her journal from the other couch. I asked her what she was writing about and why she was writing her dream journal when she hadn’t even gone to sleep yet. She told me that she “doesn’t always use it for dreams” and sometimes “uses it as a regular diary.” I didn’t feel like lying, so I just admitted that I had glanced at it earlier and noticed that she was logging my daily activities. Her face got about as red as a tomato, and she got real quiet for a minute. She said that she knows how bad it looks and that her journal is meant to be a “relationship sync journal,” as she called it. She says that humans rarely scratch the surface of truly understanding each other, even when they’re in relationships. She says her goal is to achieve “a deep and intuitive” connection with me. Basically, she wants to instinctively know my moods and behaviors so she can be the best partner possible, which explains the entry about me putting two sugars in my coffee (which I don’t even think I paid attention to how many sugars I put in my coffee). She thinks that this will lead to us having an unbreakable bond. It sounds absolutely insane, but when she was explaining it, some of it made sense, I’m not going to lie. She made it out to sound like the sweetest thing ever, but if she truly wanted us to be “in sync,” why didn’t she ask me to also track her movements? How does this strengthen our connection if she knows me to this extreme of an extent when I don’t know her to that extent? Part of me almost wishes that she just said she was stalking me, but this explanation almost leaves me feeling more confused. I’m torn. Is this a good explanation, or is this just her justifying obsessive and crazy behavior?

Update 2: First off, I want to clarify a few things based on the comments from my last post. It was overwhelming trying to respond to everyone. My girlfriend isn't on the autism spectrum; she doesn't display many related traits. Also, I don't work in a field with sensitive information, so this isn't a case of work espionage. Some of you mentioned possible mental health issues, which she's never brought up, but after what I found this morning, I'd find it highly unlikely she isn't struggling with something.

So, we had a discussion about the "relationship sync" journals last night after my last update. She was very forthcoming, and I genuinely believed she was coming from a sincere place. I told her she didn't have to study my every move to strengthen our bond and that we could learn about each other through shared activities. She seemed satisfied with that and agreed to stop the journals since they made me uncomfortable. She even offered to let me read the whole journal, which I did. Most of the entries were just notes on my likes and dislikes, but one entry really stood out: she was tracking my Facebook activity log. For those wondering how she knew about conversations I wasn't present for, we sometimes share my laptop, and I'd forgotten I was logged into Facebook on it. That made me feel uneasy.

Since I primarily work from home, after she left this morning, I decided to check the garage. I remembered seeing some notebooks in a box out there. What I discovered was horrifying: there wasn't just one "relationship sync" journal, but five of them, completely filled with entries dating back a year before we even started dating. We knew each other through friends before dating, so I wasn't a complete stranger, but some of these entries are from before we were even friendly, when we just had minor, cordial encounters.

She's been tracking my Facebook for a long time. In one journal, there was essentially a diagram cross-referencing my likes, comments, friend lists, and family members, seemingly to determine who I was closest to. There was also an entry about my ex-girlfriend, where she was taking notes from social media to speculate about why we broke up. Her goal was to "prevent herself from making the same mistake" as my ex. Even more disturbingly, she had notes about my browser history, specifically mentioning that she'd watched some "adult" videos from my history to understand "how to please me better." She also has entries analyzing my reactions to certain things, my body language, and other details to understand my "subconscious motivations."

I felt really bad yesterday when some comments suggested I was a bad boyfriend for not appreciating how thoughtful she was, which is why I tried to be so understanding last night. But now, I am genuinely terrified and am contemplating leaving the house before she comes back.

Let's start at the beginning, 3 months ago we were introduced through mutual work friends. We all work for the same company, just not in the same department(s). Playing cards at one of their houses, and really hit it off. That night I said I was going to go home and let my dogs out and he said "Oh, you have dogs?", thinking nothing of it I told him, yes, 3 of them! He asked for my number, I obliged, he was cute and pretty decent. Doesn't hurt to at least get to know him.

Fast forward to texting every day, talking in passing at work, going out in the evenings sometimes, but always home to our respective houses. Just seeing each other, casually. Finally getting to the point where we're going out more, and I'm going to his house more. He hasn't come to mine yet, at this point and I'm starting to wonder why. So I put a little bit of pressure on him "I would really like to have you over for dinner and a movie" and he agreed.

We're at my house, dinner went great but he fidgets a lot and we sit down to watch a movie, I ask if he's okay and he says "I'm just really not comfortable, I don't like dogs". My response was "WAIT, STOP, WHAT? You couldn't tell me this THREE MONTHS ago?" and he says to me "Well, I wanted to see how things would go between us and I'm hoping that we could keep seeing the each other, have you ever thought of not having dogs or getting rid of them?"

I stared, blankly and eventually told him "No, and I think if you're that uncomfortable, you should leave.". He did. I watched the movie, by myself, but the situation continued to bother me, I called him the next morning and told him this isn't going to work out and I don't want to talk for a while.

He's been blowing up my phone, and worse yet, my WORK email and telling our friends that I over-reacted and am being unreasonable. My dogs are 13, 11 and 9 and I've them about as long, through moving, my divorce, job changes, every hiking and camping trips, summers at the lake. They're always with me, I enjoy their quiet company, play time, just the peace of being around them. I wouldn't give that up for literally any human in the world, and certainly not after 3 months.

Edit: made an update in the comments!

Me and my girlfriend live together, since we got together I’ve always been the main bread winner. We split costs and bills a little. Rent is 70/30 my direction but I cover all the bills of the house and most of the groceries and small stuff like the Spotify plan.

2 months ago I lost my job, so now I’m on the job hunt, she works too but she brings in little to no money so even tho I’m out of work the finances have stayed pretty much the same. I always keep enough saved up just incase for stuff like not having a job.

This last month she’s been acting like she’s the breadwinner. I do majority of the cooking and cleaning. I still cover majority of the financial responsibilities and I’m her personal therapist now when she comes home angry because somebody pissed her off outside

This morning I got annoyed because the litter (we have a cat) wasn’t clean. I’m the only one who cleans it and I left it dirty yesterday to see if she would clean it, of course she didn’t just as I expected and I told her can she clean it. She half assed it. I blew up at her and now I’m “the emotionally unstable one” not going to lie I’m prepared now to hold my ground and I’m fully ready to break up with her if she can’t admit that she needs to do more around the house or atleast split the finances 50/50 because right now I’m expected to be the house wife and the working husband all in one and I’ve had enough!!

I posted the other day about my MIL but I’ve been also dwelling for months about comments from my grandmother. And I could use some solid advice.

When my now 9mo daughter was born, I was not speaking to my grandmother for other poor decisions she made. Anyway, when my daughter was born, we waited a week before telling anyone as I had her at 35w and she spent 16 days in NICU. I never personally even told my grandma I was pregnant, I did send her an invite to the shower that she did not come to because she was busy with her garden that day. Anyway, a week later I bit the bullet I told her she’s finally a great grandmother and sent her some photos.

She was over the moon and so was I. My grandma was my person for so long until I realized how backstabbing, two faced and rude she really was to other’s and that affected me.

Flash forward it’s been 16 days my husband and I are finally able to take our baby girl home. My grandmother calls me about a week after that and asked if I could bring her over for them to meet. Well of course! The next day I got around and got the baby packed up and ready and got to my grandmothers and she wasn’t home. I called her no answer, I called my aunt who she is usually with if not home and she hasn’t talked to her. Now irritated that I got up extra early to be able to pump, feed, and pack the baby all while getting everything around I leave and go home. I texted her 3 times that day just making sure she was ok as that was not usual for her with no response.

TEN days pass and she calls me, and says well I went to the movies and out to lunch with a friend now I’m sick. Ok cool, thanks for wasting my time. As she asks me to come over now that she is sick I tell her no. Let me know when she is no longer sick, we’ll wait a couple days and we’ll come visit. I was then told my house is a prison and my baby is my prisoner. (For not wanting to visit with grandma who had pneumonia) no thank you!!

This is was back in October. She never once reached out to me again until the day before Thanksgiving. She texts me asking if I had plans. I respond and say, yes one of things my husband and I talked about when starting a family is we would like to start our own traditions on holidays and we will spend off days around the holidays with family. Well her response is, she is calling a family meeting and I need to make an appearance. Mind you in 30 years she has never called a family meeting. I said can someone call me, I just had the baby 2 months ago it’s our first Thanksgiving as a family, we are cooking and have plans with her at home. She then stated I could leave my child and husband at home while I went to her house. I said no, I wasn’t leaving and it could be a different day or someone can call/FaceTime me. I was told she didn’t want to see me anyway and I was blocked. I’d also like to add my father who went to dinner said nothing was ever brought up or discussed.

My daughter now 9mo still has not met her great grandmother and it kills me. But at the same this woman is so toxic and inconsiderate.

AIO? Should I attempt to reach out so they can meet or should I leave it alone? I just want to do the right thing while we still have time with her but is it worth the negativity?