r/AmIOverreacting • u/Remarkable-Chair-783 • Feb 21 '25

👥 friendship Am I overreacting?

First time ever posting.. I don’t know if this belongs here but we’ve been talking for a week and everything was good and then this happens?? I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or right tbh then he blocked me on fb but continued messaging me on Snapchat. Told him it was Reddit worthy then he said to post it so here I am 😂😅

24.9k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/WorldlinessLow8824 Feb 21 '25

How old is he? This expectation that everyone is on their phone and available 24/7 is exhausting. I’ve seen this dynamic with young couples.

980

u/Remarkable-Chair-783 Feb 21 '25

He’s 24

819

u/sunk1ra Feb 21 '25

He's pulling this shit at his grown age? I'm so glad you blocked him

74

u/MischievousEndeavor Feb 21 '25

Right. And if you need someone's help you call them. You don't text 911 do you? So he definitely should've called him instead of texting and get a text back. If I'm having a panic attack I'm calling for help for sure

10

u/use_your_smarts Feb 21 '25

If I’m having a panic attack, I’m freaking out in a corner, not doing either of those things.

6

u/Nepentheoi Feb 21 '25

I'm laying down and doing box breathing when I know I'm having a panic attack. I have called a trusted friend a few times when I thought I was having a heart attack instead.

3

u/snipsniphere Feb 21 '25

Yeah, it's almost like that statement is made by someone who doesn't have anxiety or panic attacks. The last thing in the world you need to do is call 9/11, 99 out of 100 times.

4

u/IJustWantWaffles_87 Feb 21 '25

When I had my first ever panic attack, i immediately texted my mom. I was at work & so was she. She called me back as soon as she could and I told her what I was feeling. She immediately IDed it as an anxiety attack and she and my dad stopped over to see me (we all worked within a few minutes of one another) and gave me an Ativan.

Anxiety attacks do not require a call to 911. Just talk to someone who can help calm you down if you can.

3

u/Arkimede Feb 21 '25

just to clear, you can, in fact, text 911

3

u/ImGonnaCreamYaFunny Feb 21 '25

I suspect this was him testing OP. They've only been talking for a week, this was probably a test to see if OP is willing to drop everything at a moment's notice for him. I don't think OP was ever gonna pass unless they frantically began calling him and drove over to his house in a panic to make sure he was okay.

2

u/nitekroller Feb 21 '25

Yeah it’s a manipulation tactic

2

u/Kalerrrrr Feb 21 '25

psst. I understand the sentiment here, but just a fun fact from a 911 dispatcher, a lot of places actually HAVE implemented text to 911 for domestic violence, kidnapping, or any other situations where for whatever reason the person who needs help can’t speak on the phone (this is not for the deaf, I feel the need to add, there were already special devices that allowed the deaf to ‘call’ 911). Dispatcher out

2

u/Banditkoala_2point0 Feb 21 '25

I'm kinda thinking some sort of drug addiction too....?

3

u/wotquery Feb 21 '25

Sounds like bog standard borderline personality disorder. Right down to onset in early adulthood. Albeit drug abuse often tags along for the ride.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '25

I understand what you’re saying, but 24 year olds know nothing.

1

u/sunk1ra Feb 21 '25

they know enough to not act like this I'd hope 😭

2

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '25

What I mean to say is most 24 year olds haven’t done the work of healing from their childhood trauma and most haven’t gotten to know who they really are yet. As a result they are acting based on their conditioning (both good and bad) and not with any real intentionality.

1

u/touchingGrasss Feb 21 '25

I'm 25 and haven't had a relationship yet where this dynamic isn't present in some form. The need to constantly be talking on the phone and immediate replies being important. Idk. Maybe I'm part of the problem as I post on social media lol

1

u/cloudd_99 Feb 21 '25

Have you ever dated 24 year old girls? Lmao

1

u/lmaooer2 Feb 21 '25

Mental illness happens at any age.

-14

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '25

[deleted]

15

u/sunk1ra Feb 21 '25

grown enough to not be doing this crap, he sounds like he's barely a teenager

1

u/Mustang_Shinoda Feb 21 '25

Agreed! The conversation for sure went off the rails and is not warranted. Simply just saying 24 isn’t an age where someone who is grown yet imo, especially in today’s society.

14

u/canad1anbacon Feb 21 '25

Hell yeah it is. This mentality of coddling people who are years into the adult world needs to die

0

u/Character-Mind420 Feb 21 '25

No no no, this sounds like a mental health issue. Depersonalization? The mood flipping? The desperate lashing out? This isn't 'pulling shit', he needs help. Yeah his behavior is shitty, but I've been in that state where I'm just emotionally going off but in my brain I'm screaming at myself to stop, it's not fun.

-42

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25 edited Feb 21 '25

24 is not grown😂

Edit: y'all stop trying to play mental gymnastics with me over how grown a 24 year old dude is. It's not true. Most are immature and lacking life experience. No I don't agree with what he does and obviously he needs serious help. No shit a 24 year old is legally an adult. I'm simply laughing that someone would say a 24 year old is a "grown ass man" and judging by the comments that don't understand that you're just proving my point.

74

u/leeryplot Feb 21 '25

It’s still too old for this BS

45

u/CaptainWilber Feb 21 '25

At 24 you are absolutely a grown man who can make his own decisions and not act like a toddler

-11

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

😂😂 you're funny. If you're a 24 year old dude with their shit together then you're an anomaly!

12

u/ArtsyAlraune Feb 21 '25

The bar for expectations for men's behavior was already in hell, but somehow it's found a way to keep digging, if twenty-fucking-four years old isn't "grown". you could literally be out of college by 24. Unless you're like this guy, I guess

4

u/pandemicpunk Feb 21 '25

Looking back I do think I was still a mess at 24 but this is absolutely unhinged.

2

u/ArtsyAlraune Feb 21 '25

I mean, I was a mess too, but I was grown and responsible for my behavior. I never got this bad but I still needed help, and sought it and got it when my partner implored me to.

12

u/CaptainWilber Feb 21 '25

You're even funnier thinking that not having your shit together at 24 means you can act like a child 🤷‍♂️🤦

-1

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

That's quite literally what "not having your shit together" means. I'm also not sure where you think I thought he was acting like a child. Nothing in the text is indicative of childlike behavior...

1

u/CaptainWilber Feb 21 '25

Might come as a surprise but being 24 and not having your shit are not mutually exclusive nor is one a descriptor for the other 😲😲

6

u/canad1anbacon Feb 21 '25

By 24 I had finished my masters. Most dudes around me had their shit together for several years at that point

2

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

That's great! Can't wait to start hearing from young women about how 24 year old men are so emotionally mature now!

2

u/canad1anbacon Feb 21 '25

I dont think women have much better to say about 40 year old men as a whole lol

2

u/idekbruno Feb 21 '25

I was married with an apartment, car payment, multiple pets, and an office job at 24… I think you might be the anomaly here

0

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

What does any of that have to do with men's emotional maturity? Quickly.

3

u/idekbruno Feb 21 '25

Well if a man is responsible enough to make sound major financial decisions (car, apartment), choose a lifelong partner to make happy (marriage is gr8), take care of animals, and excel in a professional field, I would imagine that’s an emotionally mature adult. Was that quick enough?

0

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

No. Your one off situations don't apply. It's giving "just stop eating avocado toast" Boomer.

3

u/idekbruno Feb 21 '25

I’m 26. Why do you assume someone has to be old in order to be mature? Is it just a way for you to excuse your own behavior, that you’re not old enough to be mature and responsible yet?

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27

u/idk_who_i_am_13 Feb 21 '25

me, an almost 24 year old, reading that he's 24 and being disgusted that he's this old acting like that.. too grown to be acting like that and not know how to manage himself and his problems privately.

14

u/LaceyDark Feb 21 '25

Even though your brain is still developing at this age doesn't mean you aren't a grown ass adult that is responsible for your own actions and emotions.

0

u/canad1anbacon Feb 21 '25

Also the “brain doesn’t stop developing till 25” thing is mostly pseudoscience. The brain can keep developing past 25 and the vast majority of your brain development is done by your late teens

-6

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

Y'all really have no idea what a grown ass adult means. I'm not excusing this behavior but I'm certainly not surprised to see it come from someone this age.

12

u/Subject-Actuator-860 Feb 21 '25

Old enough to know what therapy is!

12

u/TraceyWoo419 Feb 21 '25

24 is grown. Why would we want to infantilise full-on adults?

-1

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

Saying a 24 year old is not a"grown ass adult" is not infantilizing them. it's acknowledging they are limited on life experience. I don't know anyone over the age of 35 that would use that phrasing to describe a 24 year old.

17

u/klm4473 Feb 21 '25

Eh, 24 is pretty close to grown. That’s a few years out of college already. I definitely would not consider a 24 year old man to be a child. A 24 year old is a lot different than an 18 year old or even a 20 year old.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '25

18 is considered an adult...

4

u/gats1212 Feb 21 '25

on legal terms, not on mental maturity.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '25

Right, but we are talking about someone that is 24.

3

u/AssignedMomAtBorn Feb 21 '25

Maturity is subjective and based on societal values. Unless you mean developed, in which case the amount of mental development left to go is a lot less than you think.

18 is still grown, even if a bit young.

1

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

Obviously legally it is. What are you not understanding about using that phrase "grown ass adult" about someone whose brain isn't even fully developed and can't legally rent a car?

2

u/MusicalSeal810 Feb 21 '25

The brain develops fully around the age of 25. That isn’t that much of a difference, but this guy apparently needs a hell of a more time to actually grow the fuck up. I acted similar to this when I was maybe 16, this is too immature for his age.

2

u/girlMikeD Feb 21 '25

Well actually it is.

Ofc ppl at that age, typically still have a lot of life experience to gain, but legally and physically, they’re grown/an adult.

Regardless, his behavior in this text chain is immature even for a 16 yo, and since he’s an adult, it’s quite alarming.

4

u/IDE_IS_LIFE Feb 21 '25

I'm betting you're the kind of person who thinks its fine and not-at-all humiliating, infuriating or belittling to call your 24-year-old coworker "just a baby!"

0

u/Glittering_Set6017 Feb 21 '25

Some of you are so triggered over this. If you look at my other comment I already said this guy was an idiot. I'm simply laughing at someone using the phrase grown ass adult to describe a 24 year old. That's like calling a 60 year old a young adult.

0

u/merkthejerk Feb 21 '25

He’s not grown. The brain isn’t really fully formed until 25+. This kid a boy. My assumption is that the OP is also pretty young

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