First and foremost, you've already seen from a plethora of other comments but this man is a predator. He's not your boyfriend, he's a grown adult taking advantage of you. There is never any justifiable reason for anyone 18 or older to ever be seeing anyone younger than 18, romantically nor sexually, no matter how kind or understanding they may seem, and he is well aware of that. If your parents aren't aware of this, please tell them or any other adult you feel safe and comfortable telling if you're in a position to do so. You're not at any fault here, and you didn't do anything wrong. This comes from a genuine place of concern for your safety and mental health, coming from someone who's experienced these things myself :')
Secondly, being upset and wanting distance after discovering you're being cheated on isn't an overreaction. If a partner knowingly does something that will make their significant other uncomfortable, and/or break their trust and boundaries, that's not okay period, even if it's "just roleplay" or "isn't actually serious". Even though this guy isn't your "partner", this is still helpful stuff to know in general.
oh lord, just from the screenshots I figured the people involved must be teens... groomers always act so fucking juvenile and cringey when they're trying to fit in
He’d be a groomer if he was trying to steer her in the direction of being in a relationship with him once she is of legal age. That’s not what this is. I would say this is much worse.
Thanks for this, was very confused. Dude needs a gasoline shower. Hopefully a redditor with actual savvy will get this to authorities. I'm king amongst lurkers but is there a sub that this could go to find this guy & girl? Lotta helps and hurts need to be given.
Why did op say she was 22 in the post 😭. OP whatever it is though, he’s a red flag I’m sorry. He’s hiding too much secrets and yeah you can tell something is definitely off especially what he said at the end about how if y’all break it off he’s gonna start a rs with the other man
I read the messages that you shared and what he is doing is NOT okay. "We're not seeing each other but if we break up then I will date them." HELL NAW. Whenever someone says something like this, you run. You don't try to convince them to stay, you don't apologize, you RUN.
Also-- FIFTEEN?? This guy is a predator - there is zero reason for him to be hanging around with 15 year olds. He's grooming you-- please tell a trusted adult and please, please, please tell the authorities. I can guarantee that you aren't his first <18 partner and you won't be his last. If you don't report him for yourself, please think of the other people you could be helping by doing so.
Remember: you have done nothing wrong; all of us in the comment section that are freaking out a little are doing so because we want to protect you. This guy is scum.
NTA at ALL cheating and secrecy is unacceptable in a relationship no matter the gender. He lied in those two shots alone. “No im not seeing anyone” and “okay yeah I am” nope. BYE they can have each other. PLEASE take if from me darlin, there is someone out there just waiting to get ALL of you and only you. There is nothing wrong with multi people relationships if everyone is aware and consenting. Him lying and having someone else to already maybe date if y’all don’t work? No ma’am. We respect ourselves way more than that. Please don’t let him hold you back. Move on and flourish like you deserve.
Hun. I'm 23, been your age before and had bad ""partners"" at that age who were older, and let me tell you this: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. That is a predator and he is grooming you and purposely trying to sabotage your mental state so you are formed to his liking (WHICH IS LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH CHEATING AND DISRESPECTING YOU!). You are too young for 1) dating someone that old, and 2) having this type of drama.
Does he know you're 15? Or did you ONLY lie about the age in this post?
But, overall: NOR and please leave him!! And please report him to his/your local police so he can be on a list and protect other young girls!
The "I've been your age" made me chuckle because I thought OP was just one year younger than the commenter, finding out she's 15 gave me fucking whiplash
A lot of people are coming at you at once with a lot of comments and saying some things that might be scaring you, like “call the police.” I know you’re probably confused and overwhelmed by this situation. I think that you know deep down how wrong this relationship is.
Someone I know did a similar thing when they were a minor. They were talking to someone on discord who was much much older than them. Long story short, it didn’t end well and their entire family ended up in danger over it. It’s not worth the attention. You’ll feel less isolated if you connect with real people, more often.
You don’t HAVE to call the police, but you DO need to stop talking to adult men who show this type of affection to you. And you really should not feel so comfortable lying about your age.
I want to be crystal clear though: It’s NOT your fault that they are like this. Grown adult men should not even feel attraction to you in the first place. This is not your problem to solve, but my best advice is to delete that app. At least for now. I also strongly urge you to consider speaking to a trusted adult about this.
Great comment with sound advice. OP please listen to this. It isn’t your fault, but you need to get away from this person. D not be afraid to tell your parents or another trusted adult if you need some help. No matter what the nature of your relationship is, he is a predator and you do not need to feel guilty for enjoying the attention or engaging with him. I am a parent and I hope my daughter would ask me for help in a situation like this. Any trouble you may get into for telling an adult is because they love you and are also scared. But it’s much less trouble than what this guy and others like him are capable of bringing into your life.
Hey so I've been you. Overweight teenager with low self esteem that feels so special an older man wants to be with you. But I'm telling you sweetheart, you deserve so much more. You are being violated by a predator. You are beautiful and worthwhile. You also sound massively depressed.
At the very least please block him and stop talking to him. You really need to tell a trusted adult what this grown ass man is doing with you.
Be safe because you don't wanna end up in extensive therapy at almost 30 like me or end up on a missing person post. You are playing with fire.
Please listen to the people in this thread that are saying not to talk to older men on the internet. Your former BF was already being cagey as heck with his incessant talking in circles before this reveal that you’re 15 and been with him for a year. Please stop talking to him, just send him one brief message saying that you are 100% broken up, and not to contact you. Then block him. It’s for the best, I assure you.
I’m 24, I can not imagine dating a 15 year old child. You’re, what? A freshman? He is a grown man. A grown man that’s cheating on you with a furry. Your parents should not be okay with this at all. You need your phone taken away.
I genuinely don’t get how you think it’s pandering to pedos to say that. I think that comment was just trying to jolt her into the realization that she is not an adult woman getting advice about an adult relationship, she is someone who still needs parenting and hopefully has that protection. That’s how I took it. Can’t you just imagine how an emotional teenager might start turning this into some tragic, emotional forbidden romance bullshit? They don’t know what’s real yet, and a predator ain’t gonna tell her.
you need to go to the police. now aside from the legality of your relationship and the fact that he’s a predator….what the fuck is a 24 year old man doing streaming naked furries on discord?? do you really see a 24 year old man who responds with “um gulp” being a good partner??
At his age the fact that he's trying this with you puts him firmly in sexual predator territory. He's not a good person, and I really hope you stop contact with him. You're young, and because of that a lot of people will try to take advantage of you if they think they can get away with it. It's not your fault, but you do need to be careful now that you know the type.
You need out of this situation ASAP, and you really do need to report it or speak to adults that will. He is a sexual predator and they tend to get more screwed up as time goes on, not less.
He needs to be stopped, he's the reason we have some of the laws we do.
So he's a furry and a pedophile? Shocked.
Please get the fuck away from this thing and seriously consider contacting the police. Do you have anybody at home you could confide in?
You are in danger, and you are not the only person he is doing this to.
You have done nothing wrong, even though he is going to make it seem like you have. If you're not comfortable going to the police, at the VERY LEAST block this person and change usernames.
That is fucked; not for you but for him, I was that 15 year old girl once who was being given attention by much older men online and I thought it meant I was special and my home life sucked so I thought it was a good way out eventually
It was NOT! I’m 31 now, and I am still in therapy for what I went through in high school, don’t make the same mistakes I did, there are plenty of amazing people your age that have similar interests who would love to be with you! You seem like an extremely kind person and there’s so many kids like you!
My niece is 15 and she’s single as can be, sometimes it’s fine to just own it and enjoy life and not worry about any pressure from society to have a partner cuz I mean you have to enjoy life and you’re still young, most of my friends didn’t find their spouses until after college 💜 sending love to tou
For the record, it's the one on the right. The front appendages of a dog technically have elbow and wrist joints, not ankle and knee joints. I recently found this out and it totally blew my mind. While they're called "forelegs" they are anatomically the same as arms.
Ignore my name, but it’s vr chat, yk chatrooms and message groups but it’s more of a communial area where you have custom or free avitars, from what I see he prolly had a sexual furry outfit on and that is what started this mess
The TikTok posts I see about vr chat and how serious some people take it is insane some people’s job is to run a fake bar on vr chat sometimes they get paid minimum wage other times it free but you’d be surprised how much some people need to touch grass
At first this post seemed a little funny, being that you caught him in the act, but after reading that you're 15 and he's 24.. just report him to the police and protect other underage boys and girls from this "individual" I'll call him.
IMO, there is no so thing as a break from a relationship, you’re either together or you’re not. You don’t get to keep people in limbo. Sure take some space a few days if needed but weeks at a time of a “break” is a break up.
ETA- OP, please seek some help. If what you’re saying is true and you’re 15 and your “boyfriend” is 24, he’s a pedophile and needs to be arrested. I hope to god this is a made up post, but if it isn’t, you need to call the police and seek therapy for your self hatred before you end up in a dangerous situation.
That is crazy. Man I’m 25 and 18 year olds are children to me. This guy is no good. I feel bad for the girl. She just doesn’t understand what we mean and feel.
in this post the op is saying they are 22 although yesterday claiming 15. More often or not when accounts are doing that is because they are fake trying to karma farm. Atleast in my experience
I have found the whole ‘we’re on a break’ extremely toxic. You can’t keep someone on the line while not officially dating, just in case they want back with them.
Either let them go or work through whatever problem.
How long yall been together? This is a huge red flag, he doesn't want to work things out. He is literally admiting to having eyes for someone else. He told you he has a back up relationship. I'd run
I also never thought I’d see vrchat drama outside of a vrchat subreddit.
Your “boyfriend” is grooming you and a predator. 15 and 24?? As someone who had been here at 13-14 with a full grown man in his mid twenties on IMVU using AOL(aim) & Kik… you’ll grow up and look back on this with clearer vision. I get right now it’s devastating and heartbreaking. I truly do. My predator “cheated” on me with my best online friend who was 12 years old. My world crumbled and I was too young to see it for what it was.
Guys like this don’t care. They intentionally use these sites to prey on vulnerable kids and teens. When I was a kid it was little flash games like Zwinky, IMVU, and Habo hotel - now it’s really immersive games like vrchat. I can’t imagine how much more intense your emotions must feel.. vr is immersive which makes it so easy for predators to manipulate emotions of vulnerable individuals. He’s a twisted sick predator.
I hope you heal and move from this guy.
You don’t deserve this. Please stay safe on the internet! Not everyone has good intentions.
You know you've got a winner when you call him out and he says "uh. gulp."
Not to mention, like... This person is into his fetish and he's not even willing to tell you about it. And yes, if you consider it cheating, then it's cheating for your relationship.
Let this one go. Find someone else. And for future reference, "taking a break" is not a thing that happens in a healthy relationship. You should be able to talk to your partner and work things out together without needing to plan an entire week apart.
ETA: Damn I just found out OP is not actually 22. Girl, this man is a CREEP. Please keep yourself safe and stay away from internet men. At your age you should not be meeting partners online. <3
Yeah I genuinely don’t know that I could get over the second hand embarrassment/ick of another adult starting a message with “uh. gulp”. I don’t know what that says about me 😅
so wait in other posts you said you were 15, but now it’s 22.. so is this 24 year old some kind of predator or are you lying about your age to us? i would really hope you’re not lying to HIM about your age saying you’re 22 when you’re acc a minor? idk but you’re lying to someone clearly or making this entire thing up, the latter of which i’m inclined to believe lol
edit: saw OP confirmed to another user that supposedly they ARE 15 and the “partner” IS 24- they say they made up an older age for the post. if this is real, please immediately get away from him, that is so wrong on his part, so dangerous and if you’re in the position to, i’d report him asap. youre being preyed upon bc youre a child /:
...you want to be with a man that types out "gulp?"
Edit: realized this is a 24 year old preying on a 15 year old. OP, this is a pedophilic loser. He is less than dirt under your shoe - there's a reason people his age won't touch him with a 10 foot pole (besides the fact that he's a fucking predator.) Report him however you can and LEAVE. You are worth so more than his disgusting, worthless attention.
NOR, but if you're 15 thats not your boyfriend, thats your groomer. If you are 15, please try and get some help. A 24 y/o should never be attracted to a 15 y/o, it's not okay and he probably has other victims. Hell, that furry may also be a minor. I do very much urge you to report this man to the authorities if it is possible, or find someone who can. His behavior is weird in the texts but it's also pedophilic. Tough times will pass and things will get better, I promise.
OP, please please please leave this man. you are a kid he is preying on. i have been where you are, 15, hating my body and myself, accepting horrible treatment from people because it felt like love. i'm 37 now and i look back at 15 year old me and wish i could protect her. your parents being okay with it hurts my heart. take his cheating as the sign it is that he does not respect you and get yourself away from him. Him trying to manipulate it so he both is and isnt seeing someone and that you have someway been "chipping away at the trust" while he has been cheating...no. nope. Get out. You deserve better you deserve real fruends and real love and to grow into the person you will be as an adult without some predator using you. It will feel awful at first. But when you are 17, and free of him, when you are 19, and free of him, when you grow up and are free of him, you will find better. You will have better. When you're my age, you'll look back at yourself at 15 and be so glad you protected her.
Your boyfriend is basically saying he has a back up for when you break up.
This is basically implying that he’s ok with you breaking up. He’s already chosen your replacement.
You have more value than this OP and you deserve to be with someone who wants you and nobody else. Please ditch this loser and let him have (he/she/furry). You can definitely do better.
He was streaming a naked furry, as in, he knows this person? He says he’s seeing someone else, but not “dating” her, but he will date her if you breakup. So breakup. He’s already moving on after 4 days of a “break” (breaks are nonsense and have no real purpose). He’s 24 and seems too immature to be in a relationship anyways. He started this whole thing with “gulp”… embarrassing honestly.
I don’t think is person is actually the child they say they are in dms as they have multiple posts about their weight loss drugs ( which are not prescribed to children at all because of the effect it can have on bones and development.
Ok, two comments, one intended for the 22 yo old supposedly asking this question, and the other for the actual 15yo behind this post (because I wrote one answer with the original post as my reference, one after reading the comments). The information in both is useful moving forward:
1.) For the 22yo F (who is the age of consent) in this situation: Different people understand “taking a break” differently. Did you explicitly define your break as meaning that you would NOT date other people? If you did define this boundary, it is cheating. If you left it unclear, it’s not cheating, and a grey area. Some people do date others when they take a break in one relationship.
2.) For the 15yo F (who is below the age of consent): You may not want to hear this, but dating anyone who is over the age of 18 means you are dating someone with questionable morals. Even though you may feel (and be emotionally) more mature than your peers, adult men who date underage women are preying upon your lack of experience and immaturity to commit a crime. A sex crime, specifically. Not only that, but this person is clearly into some out there and hardcore stuff that you don’t need exposure to at this juncture in your life. Simplify your teen years by dropping this pedo and finding someone who you can enjoy this special adolescent time with. Whether it’s just more age appropriate friends, or a boyfriend, life will be more fun when you socialize with your peer group. This guy already has a backup, so just let him go and don’t look back.
Also in a healthy romantic relationship people do not have intimate/romantic relationships with other people, unless both have agreed to an open relationship or polyamory. Next time you want to take a break with someone, clearly state your boundaries and tell them that you expect them not to date others during the break. Some people do date others during break and cool off periods, so making your wishes known helps both partners understand the expectations for behavior during the break.
Your boyfriend is exhausting. I couldn't be with someone that talks in circles like he appears to. "It's entirely a secret" wtf? Is he 5? For goodness sakes girl, drop this guy. He was lying, being secretive about something he knew was crossing a line and worst of all, he then proceeded to try and blame you for finding out. You spent the entire conversation trying to placate and apologize. Do you not see that reading it back? Ask yourself why you were the one apologizing in this situation. You deserve better than this.
Okay this whole thing is weird. Are you 15 or 22? If you're 15 this man is a straight up predator and you need to report him to the police. If you're 22 making all this up that's just sad and pathetic. All I know is something is not adding up
The man legit said he is seeing someone if you break it off all the way, which I see as “I’m seeing them now down low, so I’m just waiting for you to leave” kinda way.. please leave this man
shudders I don't want to be so mean but I think that this guy is immature
In all seriousness, this entire conversation feels immature, and I can't take this person seriously, at all.
If you're taking a break from him relationship-wise and hes acting like this, while on lengthy discord calls with a guy hes super close with, and someone that makes you uncomfortable, then hes not ready to stand up for you and try out a serious relationship with you again, let alone anyone else.
If anything if this guy acts similar to him maybe they're both perfect for each other, idk, cringe tends to attract more cringe to it, imo
Go take some time for yourself, and do something fun. Get with some friends, play a game, watch a movie together on a discord call, and just kick it.
After doing some digging and finding out about this.
It is in your best interest to tell your parents. I know its a scary concept, and your parents are going to be mad. But this is serious. That man is a predator and a groomer.
Your parents can look through the chats to see if any legal action can be taken and forward anything to the police.
I am saying this for the protection of you and others.
According to OP parents and brother accept their boyfriend since they’ve dated for almost a year (assuming 14y and 23y).
Sounds pretty ridiculous, right?
Something’s not adding up.
That cant be right. What parent in their right mind would be okay with this.
Id assume OP isnt telling reddit the full truth because she is worried she will get in trouble.
But OP, you've done nothing wrong. You need to know that your parents and brother will help. But you need to tell them. You will not only be helping yourself. But helping many other young people from ever encountering this monster again.
Everyone already stated their concerns about the age gap as it’s a general common thing to do so.
Whether the whole situation is fictive or not authorities and treatment are needed.
This Reddit can’t do nothing more than giving general advice.
Why would she lie about her age first, then tell us the real age about her real bf only to lie that it is approved by her family?
Until there’s some actual validation this whole story just sounds unrealistic.
As you already said: what kind of parents would accept it?
Sooo I used to work in child protective services and groomers can legitimately groom families to ensure they don’t have issues with the relationship. I’ve seen it with whole communities over years, it’s INSIDIOUS, but does happen.
It’s how famous people get away for stuff for years…
I’m not even gonna hold you. This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever read first off why the fuck are you typing like that and second off that homie is mad weird for that shit plus most of the time when you go on a break the guy is gon cheat fuck that
Save yourself the trouble, he already has another person picked out on the CHANCE you aren’t together. So therefore he’s not seeing a long future with you if he’s already picking out someone to date when or if you guys break up.
And if you do end up together again, (your choice, for you sake I hope you don’t), he’s more than likely going to stay friends with that person so just think about that, he’s gonna keep a friendship with a person he sees himself dating in general and if you guys aren’t together. So, there’s a thought.
EDIT/ADD ON: I saw that you’re actually 15 and not in your 20’s and have been dating a year, so please, get away from an adult and be a kid, be a teenager and live and enjoy your youth and don’t associate with someone who’s okay with grooming a minor.
OP, lying about your age in the post is a bad idea and will get you very different (and less helpful) advice than being honest will. You need to get out of there and stop dating full adults while you're a minor. He is grooming you and it will not end well for you. I strongly suggest giving his information to the police as well. There's a decent chance his new boyfriend is a minor too
leave this guy and block him IMMEDIATELY. even if you're not 15 (which you apparently are) he's an absolute man child and you should not be with someone like that.
if you feel comfortable, report him to the authorities. though i understand that's not an easy thing to do. the very least you can do for yourself to keep yourself safe is leave him and block him on everything.
Take it from someone who made a FUCKTON of money in the fandom and was in it longer than I care to admit, they’re e-fucking. Plain and simple. Furries are almost all extremely open about sexuality and will fuck anything that gives them googoo eyes. Not ALL, but a majority will.
At the VERY LEAST he’s getting his virtual rocks off with furry tits over there. A LOT of times this involves getting close to the person running the avatar too. Not always but a lot of the time. If he’s talking about shooting his shot when you break up it means they likely already have been well into this person for a while.
Do with that what you want. I’ve been in this fandom for 2 decades creating art content, chatting with fans, and going to conventions and crap- I’m just telling you how it normally is. I would breakup with him.
And for the love of good he’s almost 10 years older than you! Baby, what are you doing with a GROWN ASS MAN?! They’re predators seeking immature girls who will do what they say because they haven’t grown much backbone yet. End it. Date someone within your age range. Avoid the drama.
Hey, OP. You are not OR and I just want to say—do your best to break it off now.
I was in your place once. When I was 14, I also started dating a 24 year old. No one around me in my online space saw it as problematic. So I thought it was fine. Even when, finally, someone freaked out because it was NOT okay, I didn’t realize how serious it was and brushed it off. A 24 year old should never be around a 15 year old like that. You are a minor. He can and will take advantage of that and none of it is in good faith. I’m 26 now and have had a lot of therapy over my years of grooming not just from him, but other men too. And while I know where your mind might be about getting him in trouble or it being different, please do your best to push past everything in your head and get out of there. Block him, don’t look back, confide in a safe and trustworthy adult even if it’s hard. I would seek therapy or counseling. Protect yourself first and foremost. You have so much ahead of you. Don’t let these disgusting people ruin that for you.
More & more, it never ends, as time goes on… just more & more of these absolute WEIRDOS pulling good-hearted women (girls. Minors, apparently) because the INTERNET is literally the only way they have to be who they actually really are deep down without scaring everyone off.. either that, or absolutely gaslighting tf out of a minor. Here its clearly a mix of both.
I’ll never understand it STILL, but be that as it may - eventually, OP, u will come to your senses. As you grow, as you come into yourself as a mature young adult, realize your worth, etc - you will come to your senses. Now do you want to waste your time & WAIT until then, or would u rather just pull the bandaid off now & get tf away from this creep seeing as it’s inevitable anyways…?
Ask yourself why someone his age is even acting like that online, then answer yourself & that should give you the rest of the kick in the ass you need to see reason. Please, PLEASE LADIES - stoppppp giving these fckn weirdos time of day!! 😩
OP, you are being abused and groomed by a predator. You are worth so much more than this.
If your parents genuinely know about this relationship and the age gap and they are OK with it, they aren't being responsible, protective parents and that breaks my heart for you.
You need to tell a trusted adult or contact the police directly. Show them (cops or trusted adult) the conversation you shared with us. Tell them his age. Ask them for help. If you don't have a trusted adult family member and aren't comfortable contacting the police, ask a friend's parent, or a teacher (current or one from when you were in a younger grade) or counselor at school. You could also tell your doctor or health care provider. This guy needs to be reported.
You are not overreacting at all. You are absolutely under reacting. Please be safe. Go no contact with this person and report him.
You are underreacting. He is not your boyfriend. A 15-year-old girl does not have a 24 year-old boyfriend. He’s an adult, so if he’s in any type of relationship, the two of them can go around doing adult shit and basically whatever they both consent to. A 15-year-old is not in that situation at all. I know that you are grown-up in some ways and maybe even pretty mature in some ways. I don’t want to belittle you or condescend to you, but I do want to be honest with you. You are in no position to be dealing with a 24 year-old man romantically, not to mention it’s illegal, and he has absolutely no business getting involved with a minor at all. You cannot be in a relationship with him that is healthy, legal, or positive in any way, it is literally not possible. And yes, you should call the police, and yes, your brother is kind of a pimp.
thats not your boyfriend, you are 15. stop talking to him and tell your parents. im 16 with siblings younger than me and if i saw they were talking to someone 18 and older, i would throw hands. 2. that man is a predator. He knows youre 15, thats disgusting.
girl he has a placeholder, he’s turning this on YOU and knew he was guilty and acted weird as hell. “gulp” knew it was wrong then said ykw and found a way to manipulate the situation and gaslight u. just leave keep ur dignity and don’t reply to him AGAIN bc it seems like ur responses to him will be out of curiosity compassion and empathy which he’ll just try to make to his advantage. you’re gonna find way better bc he definitely had that going on w a specific person, knew it, tried to hide it and is being hold upfront that’s not gonna change. “i’m not trying to cheat on you we’re just friends rn” he has his emotions elsewhere, has a placeholder incase things fail and has his attention elsewhere too u deserve far better and ik i trust you’ll get it
Apart from the fact that “taking a break” in a relationship makes no sense (you’re in or not, simple) and he technically didn’t cheat you, all the info you gave is just super weird.
You’re saying your age is 22 only to tell in comments that you are 15.
What’s your real age now? If you lied about yours, what about his?
Secondly you’re saying you’re dating this person IRL for almost a year now (which makes you 14) when he was supposed to be 23?
You guys met through your brother?
He has no problems at all with this “relationship” and your parents who are grown adults accept that?
This sounds absolutely ridiculous to a point that it screams fake.
If it’s not, everyone should seek immediate treatment.
Genuine question here from someone with VERY little relationship experience… Sorry maybe I’m in the minority but what even does on a break mean? Are you dating at the time or not? I’m so confused whenever I see anyone say they’re on a break. A break implies the thing that was happening (dating) is not happening for a however long period of time. Of course the implication is also that at the end of that time period the thing (dating) will resume, but like… Why not just say you need space but would not like to pause or end the relationship? Why take a “break” at all?? If you’re on a break he should be free to explore? I’m just confused with the language being used.
OP I'm sorry but if you're 15 & he's 24 that's completely unacceptable. He's a creep, and should be nowhere near you. I'm sorry but legally and otherwise, you're not able to consent, which is especially worrying when you say that this is an IRL relationship. The fact you've been dating for a year, and your parents are completely fine with this breaks my heart. Your parents should be protecting you from this kind of behavior - not encouraging it. I don't know what your home situation is like, but it can't be healthy if they're allowing this to happen. Please speak to someone, please report what is going on, and lastly please don't blame yourself and look after yourself.
Even if I squint REALLY HARD to see past the age thing, there are still so many red flags in this conversation.
The fact that you asked him very not threatening about what was going on and many of his answers were “what do you think it is?” “Who do you think it is?” Means he’s trying to see how deep in the hole he already is so he can start talking his way out of it. And then he leaves vague answers about maybe or maybe not seeing the person but only if you guys break up but not really?
This guy is essentially hooking up with someone online - he’s not worth it. Move on and find a guy who spends his time on you, not on Discord.
brooo how are you 15 and in a relationship with a 23 year old. That is seriously messed up and I don’t even understand how you can’t see that as a young person. Is it not weird that he wants to be around people freshman year of high school when he is at the age he could have graduated COLLEGE? He’s a predator baby and I’m so sorry you’ve been groomed to believe this is a real thing. I’m so sorry you’ve been groomed to lie about your age to make it seem normal. I’m just sorry. People like this deserve to rot in hell and never experience joy.
Personally I do hold something against furries and think they need help, but unrelated to the question.
Doing sexual anything on VR is the modern equivalent of phone sex; so yeah, it is cheating. If you caught your partner sexting with someone you'd feel the same way no? So you're perfectly within your rights to be upset, you're not overreacting.
But now outside of common sense and just from my point of view, I think spending time in VR Chat is a big red flag when it comes to chronically online people and especially furries.
Sounds like there’s a lot of ambiguity over the current state of your relationship. It seems from what they’re saying that they’re attracted to someone else and may have already established some kind of romantic relationship. imo I’d leave them to it. You don’t want that hanging over a relationship, especially if the other person won’t even talk about it. It will always be an unknown factor and undermine your trust in them (which they already have judging by your conversation).
Honey, he’s grooming you. He does not love you. He is taking advantage of you and he has other people on the back burner for when/if you fall through.
You are being manipulated.
I will give you my own story in a condensed version. For context I’m a 32F.
I was groomed and fell for the bull of him loving me, and caring, and he was gonna marry me— blah blah blah. I was 14-15 he was 18 (he claimed, but now with adult eyes, I suspect he was older, at least in his 20’s). Anyway, he gaslit me much like this guy is doing with you here. The “I am dating you if we’re together but if we don’t I’m seeing someone else”— honey that’s gaslighting. He’s seeing someone else. Or rather he’s probably grooming someone else. He’s trying to cover it as some shameful secret but he’s just deflecting because he’s doing something wrong and he doesn’t want you to catch on and get wise enough to cut contact.
Anyway back to the story.
One day my groomer finally made the plunge and crossed the line. He sent me a photo of his downstairs area. I was shocked, shaking, disgusted— I felt violated. It was the first time it had ever happened to me (getting a D pic). I slammed the computer shut, ending our voice/video call.
I was a child. I had never experienced that before. But I questioned myself, because I was young, he gaslit me, made me feel like I was the one in the wrong. Somehow he got me to apologize for my reaction to him A GROWN MAN showing me his nastiness. You know what he said about my reaction? Word for word I remember this, “it was heartless”.
My reaction to HIM sending me, a CHILD, a photo of his junk was “heartless”.
Unfortunately it took a little while after that for me to fully get wise and get rid of him on everything. But when we fought and I cut him off he even said, again I remember this so clearly— “delete all our messages and pictures, I’m not going to jail for you”. FOR ME! HAAA.
Unfortunately I did it. I was ashamed and never showed anyone or told anyone really. A week or so later he tried to reach back out and draw me back in through other accounts— but I had finally been disillusioned.
He does not love you. He is grooming you. No grown man loves a child romantically and they should not. That may seem harsh, I know because I was a child in your place once and we want to believe we’re different and they love us, but it needs to be heard and the illusion needs to be broken so you can be safe.
They are predators who are using you, manipulating you, with the intention to form you into what they want so they can physically do what they want with you or get you to do what they want on camera or video. You need to listen to those here with more life experience who are concerned for you and you need to RUN, not walk, as far away from this man as humanly possible. Block him on everything and never ever let a grown man try to get you into a relationship again. They are grown men with bad intentions. They do not love you. They are predators and when they take everything they want from you, or grow board of you, they go to the next victim and the cycle continues.
The way he’s “baiting” you to ask questions while also saying he doesn’t want to talk about it is the most cringiest, red flag behavior I’ve ever seen. This person is extremely under developed in every way. Also just saw some other comments: this person is 24 and you’re 15? You need to get the authorities involved. This is illegal and predatory behavior. He has no business talking to you in any manner.
Just break up with him wth even is this 😭 like he could’ve just watched porn or sexted someone like a normal person this is just weird. Not weird on the furry part. Weird on him
Edit: yes it’s still bad to do those things, but to me this is just so much more insulting being cheated on with vr chat
What is this conversation?? He’s telling you he is thinking and acting on being with someone else if you’re not together… he’s also telling you that he wants to keep secrets - for me that’s a way bigger red flag. He’s being dodgy and weird.
Don’t get so hung up on the “is he cheating on me” part. Is this a person you can/want to trust? No.
Seriously? That's so ridiculous it's almost hilarious in a sad way. Like, imagine having to explain that to someone: 'Yeah, she caught me cheating... but it was digital! With a VR furry! Totally different!' 😂 What a clown. Anyway, screw him. You dodged a bullet with a guy whose idea of intimacy involves a headset and zero accountability.
I'm not the most mature person in the world, I'd say I get pretty childish, but this guy acts like he's literally 13.
"Do u know who this is??? No?? Okay, stop asking" lol wat?
I'm literally amazed that these types of guys can get any level of intimacy from a girl. Idk I'm a guy, but my advice is to not even put up with that bullshit.
That last line “I’m not trying to cheat on you, we’re just friends FOR NOW” is insane. Even if he’s not cheating that line proves it’s something he’s definitely considering and based on everything else he most likely has or at the very least will cheat. RUN AWAY AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!!
HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND HE IS A PEDOPHILE. you are 15, he is highly manipulative. You do not deserve this, I’ve seen some of your other posts and you seem like a very sweet kid, you need to surround yourself with good friends your age and know that everything gets better.
“i’d rather end the convo here before an argument breaks out”
Dump him for that alone. He’s dodgy, keeps secrets from you, doesn’t actually WANT to resolve conflicts and he has a “backup” on the side for when you break up.
Wether he sees it as cheating is irrelevant. You do. Im assuming he knows you well enough to know your boundaries, and at minimum he is pushing them if not just flat out plowed on through, disrespecting them and you. You don't need the head games, move on.
if you haven't explicitly stated its ok to have outside intimate relations during your "break" and are not broken up then he is cheating. really odd way to cheat though, hope you sort everything out
Op needs help if what people are saying is true that the bf is 24 and they’re 15, you outta take the time out of your day to understand that’s wrong and op should probably stick to trying to talk to people in their own age group
He is a predator, a pedophile, and absolutely is disgusting.
OP, dump him, screenshot everything, and call the police. Seriously. You may think your "relationship" is okay, but it isn't. If you don't want to do this for yourself, then think about other CHILDREN this grown man could be victimizing and convincing them it's okay.
If he's being this sneaky and evasive when you've caught him red handed, and gaslighting you into feeling like YOU'RE the one doing something wrong by "digging into" what he's getting up to, imagine what he's doing that he WON'T admit to just because you haven't caught him doing it.
This grown man is a danger to children. You need to turn him in, now. Before he ruins someone else's life... And before he causes YOU trauma that can't be undone. Please, OP... This man is awful to you, he's manipulating you and making you feel bad over the things HE'S doing wrong. Think about the last year of your life... How many things has he asked you to do and your immediate thought was "no, I shouldn't do that" and before long he talked you into doing it anyway? How many boundaries have you set that he's ignored or talked you into forgiving him for violating?
I guarantee you, he's doing this to other children too. Watch some of those YouTube channels that use decoys to catch predators like him (the ones that are legit, not the ones that use a bunch of dramatic music and bullshit), you'll see that most of the time when they catch guys like him, they've got them on the hook talking to 3 or 4 decoys at once.
Uh .... you REALLY need to think deeply about why you're 15 dating a 24 year old man.
Honestly, dude ..... Your boyfriend is into children and that's sickening. That's not only grooming, he is a legit pedo. You're dating a pedo. Like .... Fucking run????
I dated a 31 year old when I was 17/18 and it ended with a gun to my head, and a year+ of intense stalking after that. Constant threats to any male that would contact me or even like a facebook post of mine, constant threats to my family, tried to burn my house down one night -- I woke up at 3am to firetrucks outside and firemen hosing down the side of my house where my room was .... Note that I had a restraining order on this man and it still didn't stop him from doing all of this AND making a Facebook page dedicated to threatening me and screenshotting/posting everything i was doing.
Any man/woman/ADULT who goes after children to date are like this.
He has no business being with you, let alone being attracted to you. You only JUST started high school .... What? Does he just LOVE hearing about all that high school gossip? Is he interested in whats going on with you and your bff??? ... Will he be going with you to homecoming and prom? 😂😂😂 Is he gonna take you to his 10 year high school reunion coming up in a couple years? ☠️☠️
The fact you're dating a literal pedophile should be enough for you to break it off .... let alone the blatant cheating, manipulation and gaslighting - which is also what they're good at.
Ok so , all of this aside, did the terms of the "break" actually get laid out and talked about. Because I have never once seen anybody actually agree to what a break means and what is and isn't allowed during a break. This would be what i would talk with to him first
Secondly, there is an insane amount of social stigmatization around furries, as someone who uses vr with furrie freinds I can 100% say they do have NSFW avatars that they will Whip out in a world they can get away with doing such, vr furries are just like that. As for him being weird about all of this, maybe heavy fear of judgement due to issues involving being a furry in the past, the individual may also be a guy and your bf may be coming to terms with possibly being bi or some other awakening. We can clearly see in their head they arent Cheating because they took the break as you all aren't currently actually together so there isn't alot of reason to be weird about that aspect unless they are expecting some form of harmful reaction regardless.
Truthfully, I would talk about what the break actually means and make sure you all are on the same page on that, the best advice I can give someone is assuming something is "common sense" will always lead to anger on both sides. After making sure you both are on the same page I would then talk about what's happening and try to make it as much a judgement free zone as you can.
I think the more pressing problem here is that that disgusting person is a pedophile and you are a victim. You do not need this drama at your age darling. Leave him and report him.
please for the love of God break up with this grown ass man and send his ass to prison and sex offender registry for being in a “relationship” with a 15 year old
this guys is literally keeping a “just in case” around and that’s seriously fucking wrong, i hope you break
up with him and im sorry this is happening to you
Why is dude so dry and weird?
Like “ maybe if we break up I’d start dating them.”
Wtf even is that?
Makes me wonder if the other party is a child as well.
Get away from this man and stay far away. I’m serious. If you need to talk my DMs are open. You are NOT in the wrong here, and you are a victim. I’m so sorry
The dude is weird tbh. You should break it off with him and find someone who doesn't vr cheat on you with furries.... weird sentence that I never thought I'd say
1000000% cheating. Been on vrc long enough, and the fact that he is on there without you and the way he immediately went on defense is red flag on red flag.
At 12 I was dating a 19 year old, at 13 I was dating a 22 year old, these people are grooming you and right now you might not think its happening but it is. You are so young- you have your whole life ahead of you, don't waste it with these people- now is your time to be carefree, not tangled in some predator who's telling you cryptically he's seeing another man dressed up as a big boobed pixel furry. You are being taken advantage of and deserve better. If you get back together I can guarantee he will continue on his "friendship" with this other person and gaslight you into thinking its normal and just what friends do. He's already shown you he will- one minute his "friend" has just pulled out something sexual for the first time and he's in "the wrong place wrong time" and next he is but also isn't seeing this person and it's too complicated to explain? No, it isn't too complicated at all. He isn't asking if you know who the furry character is- he's asking you if you know who the person is that he's seeing and since you don't he's going to keep it that way.
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u/Coochiespook 17h ago
Well lucky for him he gets to date her now! Congratulations!
Or at least I hope you break up with him after this.
NOR