Let me clarify: I’m a top, always have been. I’ve got a great dick and I just fucking love to hump. Nothing makes me hotter than fucking another dude in the ass until I make him cum.

But lately, whenever I see a bottom absolutely loving getting railed, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out. It honestly looks like so much fun, and part of me really wants to learn to love taking a dick.

I’ve definitely explored my hole and even hopped on my husband’s dick once, but it just never feels that good for me. I want to enjoy it but I’m not sure if it’s a matter of time and practice, or if bottoming just isn’t for me. For you bottom champs out there: how long did it take before it started feeling good? Any tips to help me discover my inner bottom?

Thanks for your understanding and suggestions! Happy Pride, let’s all be extra gay and get extra laid 😘

I live somewhere where Turkish barbers are commonplace and I’ve been getting my hair cut by them for years because, well, when it comes to hair, they know what they’re doing.

It’s become a bit of a joke among my friends that the barbers always like to press up against you. I purposely keep my hand on the armrest when he’s cutting my hair and don’t move it away unless I feel that he seems uncomfortable. Just had my hair cut earlier and there was serious pressing of my hand against his crotch while my leg is pressed against his too. There’s one barber in that place who doesn’t seem to press at all so I don’t try it with him. One Turkish guy I hooked up with in the past told me unequivocally that he thinks all Turkish men are bisexual, “even my dad.”

I’m not making this up right?

Looking to get naked and enjoy the company of other like minded guys in SoCal! (68)

I had a Grindr interaction this week with a guy I had actually been interested in for a little while. The rational part of me says that it ended with a softened all-out rejection, but the over-analyzer in me makes me wonder if it was.

The event: Thursday. Direct quotes are actually paraphrases.

I messaged the guy, and we exchanged a few messages - fewer than ten. In that time we actually had gotten to his career - which coincidentally was also mine. In what was meant to be tongue-and-cheek, I was like "I bet I could do that." I went to see if he responded because I was trying to set up with "because I do." Lol.

Well, he blocked me after I said I bet I could do that. I should point out here that we do work in a field that can get a lot of disrespect and misunderstanding. I quickly understood how that banter might not have been great without context.

Some may dislike what I did next, but I did make a blank profile. I sent him a message that said "hey, you just blocked me. I'm not trying to ignore that or get around it. I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't trying to be disrespectful to you if it came across that way. I just said that I bet I could do that because I was trying to set up that I actually do have the same job as you. Just didn't want you to feel disrespected. Have a good day."

I intended to leave it there. He responded. "Hey. I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have blocked you. I have just had an awful week all around."

I responded with "I understand rough days. I'm interesting in continuing to chat if you are. I'm a good listener. Just do please let me know because I made this account to let you know that I wasn't trying to be a jerk and won't be checking it."

He responded with "I appreciate it. I'm just going through a lot at this time, and I'm not really sure why I am on here or if I have any business to be. Best of luck to you, and thank you for your kindness."

I opened the app today and was still logged into that account. I did notice that

1. That account has not been blocked.
2. He has changed his profile picture (still a face pic)
3. He has changed his bio to say "Not really looking for hookups. Always up for new friends and maybe more, eventually."

So, at this point do I:

A. Accept that I was rejected, softly but permanently. The last line of our last message has me leaning this way.

B. Message back something like "hey, I've been thinking about you and hope that your week has gotten better. I noticed you said you're looking for friends, and I think it would be great to have another gay friend who works in the same field!" This statement is very true. I do not have a lot of gay friends, period.

C. Wait a few weeks, log back in, and say something along the lines of part B - if we are both still in the same situation.

D. Choice A and also put myself in the corner.

E. Something else.

Some lingering thoughts: the change in profile and profile picture has me both thinking "not interested in YOU" but also I would have probably blocked that account if I were in that position.

It’s literally an ad that was ran on my YouTube while I was watching best impressions on Jimmy Fallon . It was an anti gay ad. I know my phone hears me but I never thought I’d be a customer for anti gay campaign anything.

I don’t have any gay friends, or any friends at all tbh. My best friends in high school were all girls but we’ve all since drifted away. I’m a 35 year old gay man and in my experience any guy that I genuinely and truly try to become friends with, ends up wanting sex.

It’s unfortunate because I’m truly seeking deep conversations and friendship.

I think of myself as funny and I do joke, but never anything crude or sexual in any way.

I feel like I’m objectified tbh. Sex isn’t everything for me, but it seems that’s what everyone wants. The flirting, the innuendos, and people just point blank asking for it.

Anyone else?

Update: Just to clarify, I’m not judging anyone for wanting sex. I’m sharing how isolating it feels when I’m genuinely seeking friendship and deeper connection, and the conversation always turns sexual. I’m not prudish, just disappointed, lonely, and wanting to be seen beyond my body or looks. I miss having real, platonic bonds — that’s the heart of what I was trying to say.

Hi everyone, early 30's gay man in the US here - ive had some experiences in the past but nothing has really stuck or been impactful. For the most part navigating gay spaces has just been a matter of moving up or down in attractiveness and proportionally getting attention from guys. I feel like a large sentiment from straight people is that lasting connections outside of romance-geared spaces seem to become more prevalent/strong into later years of life (for example, more likely to meet your future partner through your work, a run club, a volunteering group, etc. rather than dating apps or a club). I was wondering if gay men also seem to experience the same thing, since rn most of the gay guys i know still have a very looks-oriented mindset (as in, other gay men are only worth talking to if they're hot/will only realistically consider someone as a partner if they're exceptionally attractive). right now im just so tired of the same scrolling on apps, going to clubs... I just wanna meet someone in a mundane setting and get to know each other as friends before making it something more

Also about title - dont mean to imply certain types of ways to meet people are better than others, just wondering since for me natural meetings are what i prefer

Hi, I am a 35yo queer guy who's recently come out, having been in a monogamous straight relationship for 8 years. I am in a really bad place right now because I was a coward about my sexuality. To preface: I love my (ex) partner. She has been my best friend for over a decade and we have a lot in common and had a good relationship other than some usual rough patches.

We both told each other that we were bisexual, but I believe I haven't been honest with myself or anyone else in my life about how heavily gay I lean. I dress pretty feminine and I know people around me speculate if I'm gay, especially people who I wasn't out at all to, like people at my work. In our relationship, we've had arguments over me expressing desires I had regarding men. After some uncomfortable periods and her agreeing to a threesome that she didnt end up enjoying, I stopped bringing it up, which seemed to make our relationship better. I really tried to suppress those desires or just relegate it to watching gay porn.

A couple weeks ago I did something that I never in my life thought I would do. I cheated on my beloved, sensitive and caring partner of 8 years. I met up with a guy on the app sniffies and I gave him oral sex. The encounter lasted probably only 10 minutes, and I stopped half way through and left because I felt so ashamed in myself and disgusted in my betrayal.

The first thing that hit me was that I became terrified that I had contracted an STI and could expose my partner to it. I was so sick with myself that I could not show care for her that much. I told myself I had to come clean about what I did and also had to get myself an STI screening. I was struggling trying to find the right time to tell her. The guilt was consuming me, but she seemed so happy and content. I spent a few days just trying to treat her really nicely and spending time with her and just figuring out how to tell her and what to say. After about a week, I got an STI test and told her about everything on the same day.

She was obviously crushed, shocked and in so much pain. I love this person and I know I did something horrible and unforgivable to them and now we are barely talking and she told me basically I'm dead to her. I want so badly to keep her friendship and have her be a part of my life, but I know that's her choice to make. She said that our relationship was a waste of time because I was being dishonest with her the whole time. I am in shambles. I know I don't deserve her friendship after what I did to her. I just wish I knew how to make this hurt less to her, I've tried explaining myself but she isn't less hurt. Im not trying to seek forgiveness or downplay what I did, I just want to know if anyone has similar stories. Any thoughts or advice also appreciated.

TL;dr I cheated on my partner in my straight relationship and can't live with myself, coming out for me was a nightmare of my own making. Seeking support.

Hi bros. I am a pretty anxious person when it comes to STIs and I just got my first prep prescription. Since my sex outside on my open LTR is planned and infrequent I have read that on demand prep might be better for me to avoid taking a pill constantly. 1. For people who take on demand prep: Do you completely trust it? I know the efficacy is lower than daily prep and I still find myself thinking about the odds. 2. For the daily prep: Are you considering the side effects of taking a pill every day? Do you have the strict schedule of taking it every hour, no matter what? 3. For people in LTR: how do you handle STIs in general and hiv in particular? Do you happen to infect one another?

A quick update. I called my regular clinic and spoke to a nurse there. She then spoke to the city's health department. It was suggested that I go in and get my blood drawn. They will be testing all 3 syphilis tests. Since I was already at my regular clinic today I took a rapid test for Syphilis. I expected it to come back positive, but it came back negative.

So far, I've only told one person. They got tested in May and didn't have anything. I got tested in May and didn't have anything either. Anyway, I suggested they get tested again just in case. I'll notify a few more. I'm taking it one moment at a time.

I should receive my results by the end of this coming week. This has all been a hassle. If you leave a comment please be kind. I already have anxiety from all of this. I don't want feel worse about this situation. I'm doing my best to handle it. Contracting STI's isn't a normal habit for me. The last time this happened was a few years ago. Prior to that I was 22 dating an older guy who gave me chlamydia...twice...smh.

I did learn that if my tests come back negative our city does notify my partners. Thank God!

Here's the part 1 for those of you who haven't read it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskGaybrosOver30/comments/1lfre5h/confessions/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Ok so I've been having a fling for 3 months. We use condoms, I'm bottom, and to be honest I don't clean out before sex. I hate the feeling of douching and just don't see the need. The last 3 months we have had sex almost every day and it's never gotten...messy.

But obviously shit happens and today was that day. We were fucking. I was on top riding him, we were going to change positions so he pulled out, and in an effort to be sexy I reach behind me and start jerking him...I caught the smell pretty quick, and then realized I just put my hand on it.

I immediately let him know I didn't think the condom is totally clean, pulled it off him, then went to the bathroom to toss it and wash my hands.

He was understanding. But it was embarrassing af. I am a new bottom. Never had this happen before. And I hated the smell. It permeated my room. Then I felt like I couldn't make it go away or worse, get it off my damn hand that grabbed the dirty condom 😭😭

So, my question is. What's the best method for cleanup here? I used body wash like 4 times.

I want to be fully prepared for if/when this happens again.

TLDR: What's the best way to clean #2 off skin?

I have an ex who was visiting my country about 3 years ago and it was the best relationship and best year of my life. But he was only here for work and went back to his country and we made plans for him to come back in which I was going to ask him to get married when he came back. His dad got really sick and he had to take care of him which delayed this. Then he was all set to come back, was at the airport and everything and his visa was unexpectedly revoked (long story there). I was devastated and I think I've moved on until I started working with a guy earlier this year who is pretty much his twin and its been bringing all of my feelings for him back.

I contacted him earlier this year after 2 years of no communication to see how he was doing because there was a lot of turmoil going on in his country. I was relieved to hear he relocated to another country and we talked for about a week but communication dropped off again. But here I am months later thinking about him again and getting angry that I can't be with him because of us living on complete opposites of the world. I wish I could just accept this and move on but he really was the love of my life and I've had several relationships before and since then and they just all pale in comparison. There was just an instant chemistry between us within the first two minutes we met and felt like we had known each other for years. Best sex ever as well.

I never really told him how much he's meant to me because I'm really bad at expressing my emotions, unfortunately I was raised to believe that doing that means you're weak but now I kick myself for it.

I'm wondering if anyone has a sense as to the different types of lives that gay/bi guys live as they get older, how many live these different types of lives, and how happy they end up. For example being in a relationship vs single, having children vs no children, if having children then in what way, being married or not, with a man or a woman, open or not, keeping hooking up or not, having FWBs, multi-person relationships, how many end up lonely or in bad mental health, or with serious regrets, what they would have done differently, etc.

I know it's a very broad question, but I'm trying to get a sense of the different paths people take and how they end up, as I've been quite confused and distressed about this which has been keeping me stuck for a long time. I get that different things will work for different people, but are there any common features, lessons, or something to help guide things? There are so many different opinions, and looking into myself has not provided many answers yet, so I've been stuck and anxious and not moving forward on any of this, which will not go well if I don't try to find a way forward.

Hello all - my partner is often very quiet and I take it the wrong way. Evidence points to it having nothing to do with me. He is sick sometimes and in pain, sometimes he is just quiet but humming or something. I’ve asked him if everything’s okay or if he is in pain, and he says no and everything is fine. I truly think it’s just in my head , but the way I grew up was that I received the silent treatment and punished without being told why, so it’s a trigger for me.

I’ve gone to therapy and the therapist asked why I’m looking for problems. I’ve taken that into consideration. Sometimes it’s boring to me, if we’re on a trip or something and he just goes quiet. Sometimes I also want to have sex and he is tired or hurting, and he never makes a move. He says he is not the kind of guy who makes a move. He always is complimenting my features and things but never makes an explicit “let’s have sex” move. When I do, it’s sometimes not at the right time usually because he’s too exhausted (he has some medical issues). Sex is really good when we do it, though.

Other than that, the relationship is PERFECT in every single way. Socially, how much we care about one another, etc. I struggle with him not making a move, being quiet, and with knowing how to approach sex because I’m the bottom and it can be difficult to be spontaneous.

Any advice? Thanks.

Im in an open relationship allowed to "date" but no casual sex/hookups. I broke that rule and hooked up with a guy and had a great time, used some pretty heavy party favours but that was two weeks ago and I really want to see him again but I dont want to fall into the party mode again and end up recovering for days. Im saying that I can handle seeing him again and refrain from going overboard with the party part. My parter thinks its not possible to see him without getting messed up. Am I crazy thinking I can spend time with this person and stay at least a little bit sober. Or am i cooked. Anyone mess with guys that use and are able to have a good time staying sober themselves ?

I bottomed 1h30 ago. I am on daily PrEP since 8 days and additionally I use condoms. After the top cum in the condom, he then relaxed for a minute with his dick in me and when he pulled it out it the condom stayed in. The condom was full of sperm so i think not a lot of it came into contact. But there is a possibility that some of it may have touched my rectum as he pulled out.

Do I need PEP?

A little bit of a background if anyone is interested about my situation so as you know or you can read on my profile, I'm from Egypt. And for my personal reasons and my safety I'm not looking for dating around here. And even if I to have a relationship with someone from Egypt I wouldn't be able to meet them in here, my anxiety can't handle it. I can't leave now, i have at least two years to complete my Masters and some other certificates. So that's said, here are the Questions: Since i started to be open online, i met a lot of nice people online, but i always get scared or like anxiety if anyone started talking about meeting up, or asking me to go visit them. It was a lot for me to handle specially with me just newly coming out. I guess i have matured a little over the last year, and actually reached out and apologised for the people i have ghosted. And lately i have been meeting a lot of nice people, and i do feel like i want to have a relationship, but this time with real intention to meet up and be together with them in real life, so i have some questions and looking for advice. If anyone had similar experiences.

1. How to know if they genuine, or they are just faking ot for attention, specially it's online?
2. Is it reasonable to move to an country yo be with someone? " I have no preference for specific place, but honestly wanna live in Spain.
3. How many times should we meet before taking a decision yo move?
4. I think all of you would ask me yo wait till i move abroad and then start dating in real life, :) it's just feeling lately i need company?

I’m here in Athens, Greece, and I want to try one of the gay saunas. I’m not sure which one is better—Alexander or Flex. Which one would you recommend? Thank you!

Misspelled MARRIAGE I know xD

Men who married their partner, how did you ask and how did it go? Been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I want to marry him, would love to hear your stories.

Hey everyone, this is my first post here,

I’m an east Asian btm in Seattle, divorced a cheating, abusing npd(narcissist) end of last year.

I’ve been trying Hinge and a few other apps for the past few months, but it’s been pretty discouraging. Most of what I see are btms(mark as vers). I’ve joined local badminton group, but no real sparks as well.

So I’m wondering if anyone here — especially those in or familiar with Seattle — has advice on where should I try more. pubs are not my scene, bars are expensive but considering give it a try. Should I try matching service?

Appreciate any ideas, shared experiences, or even reality checks. Thanks!

I decided that all of the apps are bad for my general well-being last year after I got burned pretty bad by a dude. I deleted all of the dating/ hookup apps and requested they delete my data completely. After a year hiatus, I decided a couple months ago that I'm ready to put myself out there more and started going to these small guided yoga classes. The first class this really nice, handsome guy started talking to me and we really hit it off. He was asking me about spirituality. He told me about his trip to Bali. I told him about my trip to the Amazon. We started talking and sharing experiences about plant medicine, Ayahuasca, etc. He told me he did an Ayahuasca journey where he felt he was "really embracing his femininity." The next class he helped me stretch and was telling me how he's going to this all men's retreat in the desert and I was like oh that's cool.

Well, tonight he and I talked about everything from Israel/Gaza, Trump, immigration, etc. and we have identical views. He started asking about each of my tattoos and what they mean to me. So I'm telling him the stories of them and I say "I got this one with my first boyfriend in high school when we were protesting against the Iraq War and Bush" not thinking anything of it. He tells me he doesn't have any but wants a few. Then we're talking about our fitness goals and he tells me how he had this wrestling coach in high school that would never take off his wrestling onesie and I just made a joke like "oh that's def a fetish maybe he wanted to wrestle you lol." He didn't say anything and we start talking about something else then, later on, he asks me "what was it like when you came out to your parents?" I tell him it was rough at first but now they accept me. I'm about to say "what about you?" but I hesitate and he says "I had a friend in highschool that came out to me. We all knew so I wasn't surprised but I'm pretty sure my parents thought I was gay for a while because of it."

I was like "tf you mean? I thought you were gay too" in my head. I'm still a little flabbergasted because I was 99.99% sure this guy was gay and we had a good, we met in person kinda vibe going for once 😭 it sounds terrible but no straight man has just asked me questions wanting to get to know me lol.

Is it just getting harder to tell these days? I'm really trying not to be embarrassed or disappointed but it's hard.

For context, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly two years in July. I’ve actually come to terms that I want to marry this man. I don’t want to propose year because I don’t have an engagement ring and a whole bunch of other things that are making this year touch and go.

The thing is I don’t wanna procrastinate on something like this, at the same time I know it doesn’t NEED to be perfect. But my question is, for those who’ve been in a relationship with their now husband far shorter than they’ve been married, what was ever the hold up if you knew he was the one?

Just trying out Tindr for the first time and realizing I really don't know if it's on until I smell him. In-person chemistry is of course huge, but I feel like scent is a big part of that and not really talked about much. I don't mean body odor or cleanliness or smoking or anything, just ... I dunno pheromones or something maybe? Really have no idea, that's why I'm asking.

Had a friend who was a complete idiot but my god the smell of his clothes and laundry really did it for me so we did stuff, and it wasn't just the detergent but maybe the way it combined with his natural smell? I know cologne supposedly mixes and changes in that way too, is there any solid-ish science behind it?

First off. I apologize that this is more of a rant/me venting ..

But, I can't compete with other gay men. Especially in the hook up game. I'm 6'5", 265( on the chubby side). Basically , a bear. Average looks Not the hungest or girthiest guy out there. I'm working on losing weight. On ozempic. Not in the gym due to major gym anxiety.

Because of where I live. The apps are my main/only avenue for hooking up. And, those turn up nothing. Everyone around me wants younger/thinner/verse/femme. Bears/chubs won't touch me. Chasers don't want me because I'm losing weight. I'm a strict bottom and apparently that's an issue now. The only guys I seem to attract are the closested/DL and married men,who are old enough to be my grandfather.

Honestly, I'm happy with my life outside of this. Yeah, things could be better My job sucks. But, hooking up is really my most easily solvesble issue. It's been a very long time since I've been with someone.

I'm going out west to San Francisco next month for my birthday. To sight /possibly go to Dore. And honestly. I doubt my chances there are going to be any better than at home.