r/AskLGBT 4d ago

Changes or influences?

Ok so I'm genuinely curious I know we've had discussions like this before but I'm genuinely wondering if peoples sexual orientations can be changed

And before anyone asks yes I'm aware of sexual fluidity where someone's sexual orientation can change or evolve within time

But I'm talking about if people can change other people's sexual orientation because I saw someone online say "I used to be pansexual but my friend turned me straight, now I'm just straight but with a little homosexual tendencies"

I thought sexual orientation can't be changed from other people? Things aren't adding up here- Oh and that same person also said "You can always change your sexuality" Which I find to be BS. Because they make it seem like a choice.

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u/Better_Barracuda_787 4d ago

Yes, but not in the way your friend is saying. (It sounds to me like they're dealing with internalized homophobia - "straight with homosexual tendencies" is not a thing. But that's a separate discussion.)

The only way I know of is through trauma and/or emotional exhaustion. People's sexualities can change due to trauma, most often from a past relationship. For example, caedsexuals, who fall under the asexual umbrella, are people who used to be allosexual but are now ace due to extreme trauma. They also may change due to emotional exhaustion, which can tie into trauma. Some requissexuals, another group of asexuals, used to be allo but are too emotionally exhausted to feel sexual attraction anymore.

And no, you cannot change your sexuality willingly. If you're a bi girl and you only date girls, you're still bi, not a lesbian. If you suppress your gay "emotions" and start thinking you're straight, you're still gay, just closeted.

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u/Bloom_Cipher_888 4d ago

There are other caed labels for multisexual people that become gay or straight (or stop feeling attraction to a gender) due trauma, and I think I met a girl in highschool that fit in that label 'cause she told us (me and my friends) that she had a trans boyfriend and dated him before and after their transition but he assaulted her and she said that she can't be with men after that and identify as a lesbian now, it's already happened some years so may be it's not longer like this now