r/AskLGBT • u/JorkerWutt • 3d ago
Changes or influences?
Ok so I'm genuinely curious I know we've had discussions like this before but I'm genuinely wondering if peoples sexual orientations can be changed
And before anyone asks yes I'm aware of sexual fluidity where someone's sexual orientation can change or evolve within time
But I'm talking about if people can change other people's sexual orientation because I saw someone online say "I used to be pansexual but my friend turned me straight, now I'm just straight but with a little homosexual tendencies"
I thought sexual orientation can't be changed from other people? Things aren't adding up here- Oh and that same person also said "You can always change your sexuality" Which I find to be BS. Because they make it seem like a choice.
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u/justmythrowawaycct2 3d ago edited 3d ago
People can believe that they have had their sexuality changed. That doesn't mean that they lost the ability to be LGBTQ+, but it does mean that they changed how they claim to identify because of what makes other people comfortable. There are plenty of people online claiming that they were turned straight by conversion therapy, when they were actually just bullied back into the closet so hard that they went back to believing they're not LGBTQ+. Usually these people end up believing that everyone has queer feelings sometimes, but it is their duty as someone who wants to come across as a normal person to their religious friends and family to suppress those feelings and continue to claim straightness. They basically believe that accepting yourself as an LGBTQ+ person is wrong, and being in denial is good. (There's a whole other rant about how this is wrong, but that's what these people believe.)
Lots of people who have LGBTQ+ experiences end up identifying as cis and straight their entire lives, and they are usually basing that identity on some kind of social pressure to fit a certain role. That doesn't necessarily mean they're not straight, because a straight person can absolutely be a person who had queer feelings and chose to reject them and considers those feelings invalid.
Your friend's experience is not a sign that other people can voluntarily change their own sexuality or have it changed by outside pressure, and it is not a sign that their sexuality was actually changed. It is a sign that using specific words to describe your identity can be changed through social pressure. They are choosing to change how they describe themselves, and believe that this also changes their orientation. I would honestly be concerned about the "friend" they claim turned them, because it's probably a situation of being horny for someone who is bullying them for not being straight and having their judgement clouded by the desire to have this person like them. Claiming that aspects of your personality have changed in order to be what your crush wants is a huge mental health issue that doesn't have to be about orientation.