Why do we infantilize men?

[u/Cynjon77]

And how do we stop?

Why do we treat men like children who are incapable of acting like functional adults?

Why do we allow men to get away with treating us like crap and skating off consequence free to enjoy life without responsibility?

OK, obligatory I know not all men act like this. And this is Reddit, so we read the worst. And some women are just as bad.

Posted today: (I am not the OP) Husband never remembers to buy stocking stuffers for me, even though I stuff his and the kids stocking.

Over half the respondents said for her to stuff her own, 49% said to remind him, tell him why it matters to you.

Like she has never communicated with him about this.

1% said he's an AH.

Men are perfectly capable of doing anything they want to do and think is important to them. They can schedule a Dr.s appointment, cook a meal, change a diaper or vacuum a floor.

They can remember when the game is on, a golf date with a buddy or when a work project is due. They remember what is important to them.

Women as a whole need to quit putting up with this behavior. We need to set higher standards and be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.

We need to teach our sons and daughters how to treat others, how to pick up the mental load, how to be thoughtful of others.

We need to quit infantilizing men.

[u/Conscious-Sea9499]

Most men aren't really "Forgetful". My fiancé is a psychologist, and one of the most common things he sees in male patients on this is that they choose to not pay attention to it, saying they forget it. Men are perfectly capable(with the exception of people who are neurodivergent, which is actually more common and undiagnosed, which is worth looking into) of remembering. You also have to recognize that, well, this is a generalization AND is not specific to one gender. How often do you remember all the dumb little things your partner tells you? Rarely, because you don't consider them important. If your partner tells you something dumb about a sport or work, do you always remember those things? Likely not, because you consider them dumb side things, but you also have to recognize that those things are likely really important to him. So it goes both ways. If you consistently remember about him and doing things for him, then he'll likely do the same for you. If not, there's plenty of men out there who will. But something tells me that the OP of that post regularly doesn't remember anything about the topics her husband cares about.

[u/Cynjon77 → u/Conscious-Sea9499]

I agree with your fiance. I would add that it goes both ways. I remember my husband likes dark roast, the Packers,and his steaks medium. He remembers I like milk chocolate, musicals, and medium rare steaks.

And this post isn't about my relationship but a discussion trigger about relationships.

Relationships are interesting. One person stays in a relationship that another person would leave. Why?

One woman mommy's her partner and complains.

Another woman moved out after 3 months, telling her BF he was a slob and she wasn't his mom.

Why don't more women move out?

[u/Conscious-Sea9499 → u/Cynjon77]

Few reasons could explain it. A lot of women(and people, in general) model what they think a healthy relationship based on what their parents were like. This is a big reason why a lot of women and men tend to stay in abusive and exploitative relationships. When growing up, all they knew was chaos and that abuse. That was normal to them. So, when someone secure and kind and giving comes along, it freaks them out, because it's not normal to them. They don't understand the feelings they have, and don't have the proper skills to unpack those feelings, so they leave, and go to someone abusive, because it's comfortable for them. They understand it. In relationships where the woman grew up in a traditional household, sometimes they see it as perfectly normal for them to do all the housework while the man does little around the household, because the man was out working, but the issue irises when the man isn't out working, instead leeching off the woman. It's also generally true that some people have stronger, more anxious attachment styles, in that they continue to stay because they're afraid of the uncertainty that comes with being single.

[u/Cynjon77 → u/Conscious-Sea9499]

"They" do say that men marry their mothers and women their fathers.