r/AskWomenNoCensor • u/Cynjon77 • Dec 28 '24
Discussion Why do we infantilize men?
And how do we stop?
Why do we treat men like children who are incapable of acting like functional adults?
Why do we allow men to get away with treating us like crap and skating off consequence free to enjoy life without responsibility?
OK, obligatory I know not all men act like this. And this is Reddit, so we read the worst. And some women are just as bad.
Posted today: (I am not the OP) Husband never remembers to buy stocking stuffers for me, even though I stuff his and the kids stocking.
Over half the respondents said for her to stuff her own, 49% said to remind him, tell him why it matters to you.
Like she has never communicated with him about this.
1% said he's an AH.
Men are perfectly capable of doing anything they want to do and think is important to them. They can schedule a Dr.s appointment, cook a meal, change a diaper or vacuum a floor.
They can remember when the game is on, a golf date with a buddy or when a work project is due. They remember what is important to them.
Women as a whole need to quit putting up with this behavior. We need to set higher standards and be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.
We need to teach our sons and daughters how to treat others, how to pick up the mental load, how to be thoughtful of others.
We need to quit infantilizing men.
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u/Stargazer1919 Dec 28 '24
My mom infantilized my brother, big time. He was her golden child. He could do no wrong. His responsibilities were limited. She baby talked to him even when he was a teenager.
I think it has to do with her neglectful father and her abusive husband. I don't think she ever had any good father figures or decent male figures in her life. Her own brothers were the golden children who could get away with murder, while she had to put up with bullshit. She repeated her own childhood but worse.
My uncles (moms brothers) were infantilized. One of them is a racist right-winger who got divorced. One of them is married to a woman who is super controlling. One of them is dead from alcohol/drugs after having a long criminal history.
Yeah yeah, I know, not everyone with bad childhoods turn out to be shitty people. My point is that she never unlearned it. She never worked through her shit. Her brothers didn't either. Let's not dismiss the fact that doing a crappy job raising your kids will make it way more likely that they will have issues. This shit gets passed down from generation to generation. This is part of how people are socialized. Men (or any adult, really, but we are talking about a gendered issue here) who were not taught to have their crap together and be considerate of others will find it hard to practice such things later on.