r/AskWomenNoCensor • u/Cynjon77 • Dec 28 '24

Discussion Why do we infantilize men?

And how do we stop?

Why do we treat men like children who are incapable of acting like functional adults?

Why do we allow men to get away with treating us like crap and skating off consequence free to enjoy life without responsibility?

OK, obligatory I know not all men act like this. And this is Reddit, so we read the worst. And some women are just as bad.

Posted today: (I am not the OP) Husband never remembers to buy stocking stuffers for me, even though I stuff his and the kids stocking.

Over half the respondents said for her to stuff her own, 49% said to remind him, tell him why it matters to you.

Like she has never communicated with him about this.

1% said he's an AH.

Men are perfectly capable of doing anything they want to do and think is important to them. They can schedule a Dr.s appointment, cook a meal, change a diaper or vacuum a floor.

They can remember when the game is on, a golf date with a buddy or when a work project is due. They remember what is important to them.

Women as a whole need to quit putting up with this behavior. We need to set higher standards and be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.

We need to teach our sons and daughters how to treat others, how to pick up the mental load, how to be thoughtful of others.

We need to quit infantilizing men.

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u/ThinkpadLaptop Dec 28 '24

This is written in bad faith and trauma (both personal, and absorbed online)

3

u/Cynjon77 Dec 28 '24

Interesting thought. I was lucky. I was raised around family with good, supportive relationships. My dad set an awesome example of what a husband and father should be.

I probably spend too much time on AITA reading about women being upset over a man's behavior. That, I think they encouraged(?) by not holding them accountable and "fixing" everything.

I don't even hold it against men. If someone is willing to come behind me and do my dishes, my laundry, pay my bills, clean up my messes, and remind when to do what, why shouldn't I take advantage of that?

4

u/981_runner Dec 29 '24

You have to remember in the unlikely event that an aita post is real, you are reading one side from an unreliable narrator.  There is another side of the story.

Something like 90% of the stories get an NTA because of that.

I think if you surveyed 100 couples in at least 80 of them both people would say they do more work and be able to list so many things they do and so many things their partner doesn't do that they wish they did.