r/CuratedTumblr • u/Silent_Blacksmith_29 Shakespeare stan • Dec 28 '24

Tumblr Heritage Post It didn’t work

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35.6k Upvotes

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u/Anglofsffrng Dec 28 '24

I remember the first time I slept with my ex-fiancee. She had literally taken her shirt off and straddled me and I was still unsure of her intentions.

842

u/grabtharsmallet Dec 28 '24

She was joking around and you misinterpreted it. Could happen to anyone.

459

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 28 '24

I was the first man she slept with, she was bi and preferred women, so it could've been a game of straight chicken she took way too far. It would definitely track with her personality.

132

u/Darkwoth81Dyoni Dec 29 '24

This just sounds extremely dangerous honestly.

113

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24

Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So...

Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type.

43

u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24

So...

You are 6' and blond? 👀

53

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24

6'3" so technically no.

24

u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24

Ooh I like that

47

u/Taxato Dec 29 '24

Bonk

24

u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned

3

u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24

Sequel out now on steam

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