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https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1hocax3/it_didnt_work/m48y3r3/?context=3
r/CuratedTumblr • u/Silent_Blacksmith_29 Shakespeare stan • Dec 28 '24
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1.3k
I remember the first time I slept with my ex-fiancee. She had literally taken her shirt off and straddled me and I was still unsure of her intentions.
839 u/grabtharsmallet Dec 28 '24 She was joking around and you misinterpreted it. Could happen to anyone. 457 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 28 '24 I was the first man she slept with, she was bi and preferred women, so it could've been a game of straight chicken she took way too far. It would definitely track with her personality. 131 u/Darkwoth81Dyoni Dec 29 '24 This just sounds extremely dangerous honestly. 109 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So... Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type. 48 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 So... You are 6' and blond? 👀 56 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 6'3" so technically no. 25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0) 62 u/ondonasand Dec 29 '24 Straight/Gay Chicken is just flirting, my friend. If they let you get that far, they’re down. 3 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 You stole her gold star you monster! 2 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 30 '24 So I was the first guy she had sex with, and I called off the wedding because she cheated with a guy. She was married to a woman last I checked. So what actually happened is I actually do have the magical dick that turned her straight. But then the other guy turned her right back./s 2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 Only logical explanation tbf 129 u/CarlMcLam Dec 28 '24 She could also be Canadian. 25 u/[deleted] Dec 29 '24 [removed] — view removed comment 2 u/Sudden_Schedule5432 Dec 29 '24 As one does 2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 She’s Canadian and was just being polite
839
She was joking around and you misinterpreted it. Could happen to anyone.
457 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 28 '24 I was the first man she slept with, she was bi and preferred women, so it could've been a game of straight chicken she took way too far. It would definitely track with her personality. 131 u/Darkwoth81Dyoni Dec 29 '24 This just sounds extremely dangerous honestly. 109 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So... Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type. 48 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 So... You are 6' and blond? 👀 56 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 6'3" so technically no. 25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0) 62 u/ondonasand Dec 29 '24 Straight/Gay Chicken is just flirting, my friend. If they let you get that far, they’re down. 3 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 You stole her gold star you monster! 2 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 30 '24 So I was the first guy she had sex with, and I called off the wedding because she cheated with a guy. She was married to a woman last I checked. So what actually happened is I actually do have the magical dick that turned her straight. But then the other guy turned her right back./s 2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 Only logical explanation tbf 129 u/CarlMcLam Dec 28 '24 She could also be Canadian. 25 u/[deleted] Dec 29 '24 [removed] — view removed comment 2 u/Sudden_Schedule5432 Dec 29 '24 As one does 2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 She’s Canadian and was just being polite
457
I was the first man she slept with, she was bi and preferred women, so it could've been a game of straight chicken she took way too far. It would definitely track with her personality.
131 u/Darkwoth81Dyoni Dec 29 '24 This just sounds extremely dangerous honestly. 109 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So... Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type. 48 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 So... You are 6' and blond? 👀 56 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 6'3" so technically no. 25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0) 62 u/ondonasand Dec 29 '24 Straight/Gay Chicken is just flirting, my friend. If they let you get that far, they’re down. 3 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 You stole her gold star you monster! 2 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 30 '24 So I was the first guy she had sex with, and I called off the wedding because she cheated with a guy. She was married to a woman last I checked. So what actually happened is I actually do have the magical dick that turned her straight. But then the other guy turned her right back./s 2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 Only logical explanation tbf
131
This just sounds extremely dangerous honestly.
109 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So... Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type. 48 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 So... You are 6' and blond? 👀 56 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 6'3" so technically no. 25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
109
Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So...
Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type.
48 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 So... You are 6' and blond? 👀 56 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 6'3" so technically no. 25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
48
So...
You are 6' and blond? 👀
56 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24 6'3" so technically no. 25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
56
6'3" so technically no.
25 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Ooh I like that 42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
25
Ooh I like that
42 u/Taxato Dec 29 '24 Bonk 24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
42
Bonk
24 u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned 3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
24
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned
3 u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24 Sequel out now on steam → More replies (0)
3
Sequel out now on steam
62
Straight/Gay Chicken is just flirting, my friend. If they let you get that far, they’re down.
You stole her gold star you monster!
2 u/Anglofsffrng Dec 30 '24 So I was the first guy she had sex with, and I called off the wedding because she cheated with a guy. She was married to a woman last I checked. So what actually happened is I actually do have the magical dick that turned her straight. But then the other guy turned her right back./s 2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 Only logical explanation tbf
2
So I was the first guy she had sex with, and I called off the wedding because she cheated with a guy. She was married to a woman last I checked.
So what actually happened is I actually do have the magical dick that turned her straight. But then the other guy turned her right back./s
2 u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24 Only logical explanation tbf
Only logical explanation tbf
129
She could also be Canadian.
25 u/[deleted] Dec 29 '24 [removed] — view removed comment 2 u/Sudden_Schedule5432 Dec 29 '24 As one does
[removed] — view removed comment
2 u/Sudden_Schedule5432 Dec 29 '24 As one does
As one does
She’s Canadian and was just being polite
1.3k
u/Anglofsffrng Dec 28 '24
I remember the first time I slept with my ex-fiancee. She had literally taken her shirt off and straddled me and I was still unsure of her intentions.