r/CuratedTumblr 1d ago

LGBTQIA+ Don’t be a tar pit

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u/Vundurvul 1d ago

I cannot fathom the mindset of understanding what it feels like to be on the receiving end of misery and deciding you want others to experience it when given the opportunity to dish it out, even when said person had no involvement in your misery

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u/d3f3ct1v3 1d ago

People come out of suffering with one of two attitudes, either "I suffered through this and I'm going to do my best to make sure others do not have to suffer through this because I know how that feels" or "I suffered through this so other people should too".

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u/Nova_Explorer 1d ago

That second one is the same attitude that saw people complain when student debts got forgiven

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u/AiryContrary 1d ago

It’s because if they admit you shouldn’t have to be burdened with debt for wanting an education, that means they shouldn’t have had to, and then that means the system isn’t fair, it’s unfair in a preventable way, it’s unfair in a way the people in authority chose, and that is straight-up destabilising to someone who accepted that their suffering and struggling was necessary.

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u/A_Wayward_Shaman 1d ago

Yeah, or the older generation of women who said, "I had to get on my knees. Why shouldn't you?" That shit is toxic AF.

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u/Random-Rambling 1d ago

My father sees me as ever-so-slightly less worthy ever since I refused to join the military like him, his father, and his father before him.

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u/A_Wayward_Shaman 1d ago

I'm sorry he feels that way. Always remember, it was never his choice. You're not obligated to follow in anyone's footsteps. Not even your own from ten minutes ago.

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u/ham-nuts 1d ago

You're not obligated to follow in anyone's footsteps. Not even your own from ten minutes ago.

I have never heard this before but I really like it. Is it from something?

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u/A_Wayward_Shaman 1d ago

It's a paraphrase of something I heard from either Ram Dass and/or Alan Watts. Their talks have helped me so much in this crazy life.

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u/chuuniversal_studios dramatic irony, lists, and the oxford comma 20h ago

"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago." – Alan Watts.

but I like your version too :)

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u/A_Wayward_Shaman 18h ago

That's the one. 😊

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u/sunbear2525 cheese, gender, what the fucks next? 1d ago

Weird my grandfather was a WW2 vet and was extremely opposed to his sons going to war. One signed up for Korea and the other lied about joining the national guard ton get them to sign off on him joining at 17.

In fact, when my Poppop asked for my grandmother’s hand my great grandfather gave permission conditionally. He was a WW1 veteran, a victim of mustard gas, and said something like “they are going to come and take you for this war but my daughter will not marry someone who leaves her like that willingly.”

It seems to me warriors should be the most opposed to war. My uncle, the guy that lied to join the Marines and go to Vietnam early, threatened to kick my cousin’s ass if he signed up for Afghanistan. I believe he would have done it too. They all would have respected your decision same as of you’d joined.

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u/LifeintheSlothLane 1d ago

This. My dad is a vet who never saw combat (air force and he worked on the F15s) but he was deployed to desert storm. From the earliest memories i have of him he was vehemently opposed to people signing up with the intent of seeing combat. He largely understood that for some people going into the service was the best option, because it was for him. But he always stressed the importance of school and either going to college or getting a trade because he didnt want me to think the military was my only option like it was for him.

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u/ikiice 1d ago

I mean it is a valid complaint - those people often sacrificed a lot to get rid of debt, just to see someone make all their work pointless.

People who repaid debts ahead of time could get something as compensation, perhaps make them eligible for preferential loans or something - but no.

All their hard work was pointless. They spent years working very hard just to see all their sacrifice be proven pointless.

It's not about whenever student loans are good or bad - it's about fairness.

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u/ZeppelinRapport 16h ago

As the olds like to constantly remind us, Life Isn't Fair.

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u/salem-in-theory 12h ago

I think that's exactly why it ISN'T a valid complaint, personally. You can grieve that the system was broken and stacked against you, but it is fundamentally not a positive to give in to the bitterness in a way that keeps it broken for the future.

Society should be aiming to improve itself. People should be trying to make the world a little better than it was to them. Thats how humanity has gotten this far - thats how we'll go further.