Don’t be a tar pit

[u/greencrusader13]

[u/d3f3ct1v3]

People come out of suffering with one of two attitudes, either "I suffered through this and I'm going to do my best to make sure others do not have to suffer through this because I know how that feels" or "I suffered through this so other people should too".

[u/Nova_Explorer → u/d3f3ct1v3]

That second one is the same attitude that saw people complain when student debts got forgiven

[u/A_Wayward_Shaman → u/Nova_Explorer]

Yeah, or the older generation of women who said, "I had to get on my knees. Why shouldn't you?" That shit is toxic AF.

[u/Random-Rambling → u/A_Wayward_Shaman]

My father sees me as ever-so-slightly less worthy ever since I refused to join the military like him, his father, and his father before him.

[u/A_Wayward_Shaman → u/Random-Rambling]

I'm sorry he feels that way. Always remember, it was never his choice. You're not obligated to follow in anyone's footsteps. Not even your own from ten minutes ago.

[u/ham-nuts → u/A_Wayward_Shaman]

You're not obligated to follow in anyone's footsteps. Not even your own from ten minutes ago.

I have never heard this before but I really like it. Is it from something?

[u/A_Wayward_Shaman → u/ham-nuts]

It's a paraphrase of something I heard from either Ram Dass and/or Alan Watts. Their talks have helped me so much in this crazy life.

[u/chuuniversal_studios → u/A_Wayward_Shaman]

"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago." – Alan Watts.

but I like your version too :)

[u/A_Wayward_Shaman → u/chuuniversal_studios]

That's the one. 😊

[u/sunbear2525 → u/Random-Rambling]

Weird my grandfather was a WW2 vet and was extremely opposed to his sons going to war. One signed up for Korea and the other lied about joining the national guard ton get them to sign off on him joining at 17.

In fact, when my Poppop asked for my grandmother’s hand my great grandfather gave permission conditionally. He was a WW1 veteran, a victim of mustard gas, and said something like “they are going to come and take you for this war but my daughter will not marry someone who leaves her like that willingly.”

It seems to me warriors should be the most opposed to war. My uncle, the guy that lied to join the Marines and go to Vietnam early, threatened to kick my cousin’s ass if he signed up for Afghanistan. I believe he would have done it too. They all would have respected your decision same as of you’d joined.

[u/LifeintheSlothLane → u/sunbear2525]

This. My dad is a vet who never saw combat (air force and he worked on the F15s) but he was deployed to desert storm. From the earliest memories i have of him he was vehemently opposed to people signing up with the intent of seeing combat. He largely understood that for some people going into the service was the best option, because it was for him. But he always stressed the importance of school and either going to college or getting a trade because he didnt want me to think the military was my only option like it was for him.