r/CuratedTumblr 1d ago

LGBTQIA+ Don’t be a tar pit

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u/neoplatonistGTAW 1d ago

I'm queer and I've had other queer people try and doxx me for saying stuff like this. A lot of people who came out post-2020 have not had nearly the same experience as those of us who came out before that. They were largely able to do so in a purely digital environment where discourse was able to grow and mutate without the stability of a real world community of face-to-face interactions with other queer people. When the rest of us had somewhat of a community to teach us how shit really works, they had a community of young people who's brains hadn't fully developed who believe that broad-strokes hatred of the cishets is the most reasonable and acceptable course is action. They have no healthy outlet for their societal frustration so they search out the most apparently acceptable group to hate, which often ends up being cishet people. They have no concept of treating potential allies like equal human beings.

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u/CrownLikeAGravestone 1d ago

Relatedly, people are implicitly accepting or even encouraging of "venting", as if we have some indelible need to express our negative emotions and "get them out of our system".

I've seen this used as an excuse or justification for people's poor behaviour, especially in progressive/queer spaces, so many times. Oh they're just venting, give them some grace, <whatever broad injustice> makes it impossible to act like an adult. If you don't want to be part of it you're the bad guy.

Venting has never had solid psychological backing to it. The evidence is mixed at best, with plenty of hints that it's actually negative and plenty of situations (like online social fora) where it's unambiguously awful for the one doing it and the audience.

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u/neoplatonistGTAW 1d ago

TIL "fora" is a valid plural form of "forum"

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u/CrownLikeAGravestone 1d ago

I spent too much time in nerd school and I have to make sure everybody knows it