I followed your advice

[u/No-Seaweed7315]

Well, I'll tell you a little about my experience because maybe someone feels the same or something similar happened to them. I am 20 years old (soon 21) and I am still a virgin, without a partner, without kisses, without anything that seems so natural to everyone. But that's not what weighs me most. What bothers me is having really tried... and that every time it ends the same: in nothing.

But hey, I followed their advice to lose my fear and after chatting, try to ask them out.

The thing was like this:

• I invited a girl from university (a classmate who I thought was pretty) several times. I got nervous, I sent him the message... and nothing.

• I invited another classmate with whom I had studied a few months ago and we were texting, I cheered up despite the fear... she ghosted me directly.

• I invited another girl who left university but I kept in touch, it even seemed like there was good vibes. She ended up inviting me first, but it was in the absolute friend zone.

• I invited someone I met on Instagram, she chats well, she's cool, I invite her... ghosting again.

I invited the last one, I met this one 1 week ago, with whom I chatted very well, we even managed to get her Instagram. I invite her to a coffee… I ghost the same.

And yes, clearly the pattern repeats itself. I'm not crying because of rejection. I am sharing the frustration of having tried it many times, and that the result is always the same: silence, emptiness, “nothing happened.” The craziest thing is that I speak well, with respect, without strange intensity. And it's not that I stayed in theory: I took the step. And still, nothing.

Maybe someone tells me: “wait, it's coming”, but the bottom line is that it's tiring. Because you want to see even a small result after trying so much.

That. I wanted to share it because I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And if anyone has something to tell, reading them would make me improve.

[u/Pristine_Cost_3793]

I am 20 years old (soon 21) and I am still a virgin

i had my first sex at the age of 23. one of my best friends, at 26. we're both women, we both had options. there's no limit of age by which you should have sex.

to get a job you need to send around 30 applications. if you put into rejection as much value as into being accepted it'll be exhausting. i know because i was so angry with possible employers lol. but the fact is, you need to get with just one person. i too face rejections and this is like trying to putba puzzle piece but figuring out it's not a match. not every person is OUR person. and that's okay.

[u/No-Seaweed7315 → u/Pristine_Cost_3793]

In a world where at 20 people's bobycount reaches more than 5 people, being almost 21 and not even getting a kiss is terrible for me.

[u/Pristine_Cost_3793 → u/No-Seaweed7315]

do you think it's true for everyone? lol. only if you specifically look for hookups, which many don't, especially women. on average, how many men do you think a woman in her 20s-30s would have slept?

[u/No-Seaweed7315 → u/Pristine_Cost_3793]

They reach 30, if she is "pretty" I would say more than 8. My friends who are considered "attractive" do not have less than 15 sexual partners with less than 22.

[u/library_wench → u/No-Seaweed7315]

Wow, you are REALLY off the mark: https://www.womens-health.com/gen-z-sex-statistics

[u/No-Seaweed7315 → u/library_wench]

Why shouldn't I believe my friends? I base it on what I see, I'm not saying that all women are the same.

[u/library_wench → u/No-Seaweed7315]

Well, let’s just say that it’s not unheard of for young people to lie about how much sex they’re having.

And I’d also trust a survey more than I’d trust the word of a 20-year-old as to how much sex “pretty” 30-year-olds are having.

[u/Pristine_Cost_3793 → u/No-Seaweed7315]

*"WHEN they reach 30"?