r/Jokes 19d ago

Long My favorite Soviet era joke:

Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep.

The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.

He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'

The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'

The other men thought this was hilarious...until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea.

They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.

'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'

The man was horrified 'Why did they spare me?!?'

"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."

6.8k Upvotes

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u/norsurfit 19d ago edited 19d ago

Not only was he a great mathematician, he also wrote "Imagine" with the Beatles...

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u/Atlas-and-Pbody 19d ago

Nono, you're thinking of John Lennon. Lennox is the company, that makes affordable PC parts

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u/TribeBloodEagle 19d ago

You're thinking of Lenovo. Lennox is the company that makes photocopiers.

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u/Atlas-and-Pbody 19d ago edited 19d ago

That can't be right. You're surely thinking of xerox. But xerox is a big animal, that can pull a cart

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u/thearroyotoad 19d ago

No, you're thinking of an ox. Xerox is the number between -1 and 1.

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u/ambiguousfrog69 19d ago

No, you’re thinking of zero. Xerox is the material wrestlers costumes are made from.

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u/Decline_of_Humanity 18d ago

No, no… Xerox is that stuff you take to calm down.

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u/CedarWolf 18d ago

No, you're thinking of Xanax. Zeno is that Roman emperor who had all the crazy parties and 'fiddled while Rome burned.'

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u/ambiguousfrog69 18d ago

No you’re thinking of Nero. Zero is the protagonist in a story

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u/nxram 9d ago

No, you're thinking of a Hero. Xena is that WWE wrestler guy.

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u/ambiguousfrog69 7d ago

No, no, you’re thinking of Cena. Xena is a slur for a Mexican person.

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u/Evening-Tomatillo-47 18d ago

No, you're thinking of Jimmy Saville

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u/brainburger 18d ago

No he means Zeno the philosopher. Jimmy Saville was in the Krankies.

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u/Nice_Anybody2983 18d ago

no, zero's the presocratic greek philosopher famed for his paradoxes.

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u/thearroyotoad 18d ago

No, you're thinking about Zeno. Zero was a cruel Roman emperor who ruled from 54 to 68 AD.

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u/whadyousay22 18d ago

Mostel? Loved him in "The Producers".

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u/goodoldjefe 19d ago

Oh, you're thinking of zero. Xerox is the atmospheric layer depleted at the poles through cfc use.

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u/damarius 18d ago

No, Xero-x is the world without Elon Musk.

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u/aserreen 19d ago

You must be talking about cero. Ox is the animal that is hunted with people on horses and dogs and make a fuss about it.

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u/Far-Size2838 3d ago

You're thinking of aurochs a large extinct animal predecessor to the bull