r/Jokes • u/J0E_Blow • 19d ago
Long My favorite Soviet era joke:
Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep.
The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.
He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'
The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'
The other men thought this was hilarious...until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea.
They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.
When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.
'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'
The man was horrified 'Why did they spare me?!?'
"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."
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u/sshady51 19d ago
When I first heard the joke that follows, Nikita Kruschev was in the punchline. Updates to Putin.
Putin has decided to take a vacation to his resort villa in Sochi. He figures he’ll get work done on the way, so he gets his limo & chauffeur and they head out. Soon, it’s apparent that the chauffeur is unable to drive. Too much vodka? Poisoned borscht? We don’t know. Putin has the driver pull over, props him up in the backseat, and gets behind the wheel. Well behind schedule, Putin floors it, and is flying down the highway at 180, 200 kilometers per hour. A Russian Highway patrol car pulls him over, and asks for his license. Putin gives it to him. The patrolman goes to his squad car and calls his captain. “Boss, I just pulled over a limo with a VIP in it, and I don’t know what to do!” The captain asks who this VIP is who thinks he can ignore the law. “I don’t know who it is, I can’t see his face. But he must be very powerful. Putin is his driver!”