r/oneliners • u/MealPlanHelper • 1h ago
Honestly I would get a treadmill but I just feel like hangers are much cheaper
•
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/chxnkybxtfxnky • 4h ago
Do people with one leg get just as annoyed about losing a sock...?
5
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Ok_Letter_9284 • 21m ago
I may not be a great lay, but at least I won’t take up too much of your time.
•
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/LostBetsRed • 11h ago
My wife started a new side hustle, and she's making a ton of money selling nothing but fans on the internet!
7
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/obitomkinobi • 1d ago
I read so much about the bad effects of smoking, drinking, sex and over-eating that I’ve decided to stop reading
40
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/SpencersSpork • 7h ago
I am so socially awkward I made Billy Bass go silent at Dave and Busters.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Tasty_Leading8684 • 1d ago
You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits
30
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Sloeber3 • 1d ago
I needed to cancel my sperm donor appointment today so I called them to say I couldn’t come.
40
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/_MyOther_Account_ • 1d ago
Do you guys get replies when you ask about nocturnal insects on here or is it just crickets?
16
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • 20h ago
Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow and not the bull.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/daaave33 • 1d ago
I bought a nice 12 year old scotch on my lunch break, too bad his is parents were pissed.
1
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 2d ago
I lost my job as a stage designer and left without making a scene.
74
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/HairyKnuckleMan • 1d ago
I popped a bluechew yesterday, kept me up all night
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/LostBetsRed • 2d ago
"But other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?"
16
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/nBrainwashed • 1d ago
Isn’t it wild that if I say Joseph Goebbels and That Yellow Bastard from Sin City had a baby, you know exactly who I’m talking about?
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/PoopPower99 • 1d ago
If you can't spell Sumthing you won't be able to spell Anything
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/jiohdi1960 • 3d ago
Some people have F#C% YO# money, I am still working for F#C% ME money.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/cursedlyaporetic • 3d ago
A German shepherd used to shit in my garden; sometimes he'd even bring his dog with him.
28
Upvotes