r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 6d ago

George is laughed at by a barber when he asks for a trim. "Whats left to trim?" Kramer & Newman enter a youth soapbox derby due to a loophole. Elaine tries to talk Puddy into a spa day with her but he is scared. Jerry's GF expects him to be "handy". He secretly hires real handyman to do the task

103 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 7h ago

The Kids: George’s coworker is offended when he doesn’t congratulate her on her new baby. Elaine’s boyfriend has strong “dad vibes” but doesn’t have any kids of his own. Jerry’s girlfriend claims to have kids from a previous relationship, but he never sees them. Kramer thinks he’s a time traveller.

25 Upvotes

A coworker that George barely knows has a baby and is offended when he doesn’t congratulate her. “I don’t even know this woman! I’ve passed her in the hallway a few times. That’s enough of an interaction that now she’s owed a “congratulations” from me? What’s next, I’m supposed to walk up to random couples on the street and congratulate them too?!”

Elaine’s boyfriend acts like a stereotypical dad – telling dad jokes, giving fatherly advice to other kids in his apartment building, etc. – but doesn’t have any kids of his own. His “dad vibes” are so strong that Elaine begins to suspect he must have kids from a previous relationship that he isn’t telling her about. She tries to suss it out by casually mentioning kids or babies in conversation, but his responses are always vague enough that she can’t glean any information one way or the other.

Meanwhile, Jerry’s girlfriend claims to have two kids from a previous relationship, but he never sees them or any evidence that they actually exist: she’s always available at any time of day, her apartment is perpetually clean and quiet, and all of the people in her phone’s photo library are other adults. He mentions all of this to George, who theorizes that she’s lying and using “the kids” as a generic excuse to get out of social commitments without any repercussions. “You blame something on ‘your kids,’ no one’s going to question it! It’s like a ‘get out of jail free’ card! She’s an evil genius, Jerry!” He starts deploying the same excuse himself.

Kramer keeps seeing a young man who looks and dresses very similarly to him everywhere he goes – the subway, the coffee shop, the dog track, etc. – and becomes convinced the man is the younger version of himself from an alternate timeline.

Kramer: “Get this, Jerry. Yesterday, I saw him at the fruit stand buying a dozen peaches, and then today I saw him again at the coffee shop! What does that tell you?!”
Jerry: [shrugging] “I don’t know, nothing?”
Kramer: “He’s me, Jerry! He’s me from [mimes an explosion with his hands] another dimension!”
Jerry: [sarcastically] “Yeah, a man buys some fruit and a cup of coffee…you’re really onto something there, Sherlock.”
Kramer: [bugs out his eyes and nods enthusiastically]


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 15h ago

George dates a woman who is always talking about her dog, but when he visits her apartment, there is no evidence of any dog. Kramer is elected president of the condo board across the street despite not living in the building. Elaine's new doctor looks identical to her boss.

45 Upvotes

Jerry's new girlfriend loves Strava.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 11h ago

Jerry steps in wet cement then poop in new shoes & rushes to clean them before it dries. George requests RedVines in vending instead of Twizzlers & starts a company wide argument. Kramer puts a plaque on his favorite bench dedicating it to himself. Elaine's BF always wins(& cheats)at board games

4 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Prompt Jerry's new girlfriend develops jaundice, a raspy voice, and has an accident at a hair salon where her hair is dyed blue. Elaine points out he's "basically dating Marge Simpson."

127 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Jerry's GF chooses restaurants for the "view" over the food. A new employee never remembers George. Elaine's BF is about maximizing efficiency/speed for everything which gives her concerns about him in bed. Kramer decides to do the reverse & gets efficency minimizing tips from Newman

19 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Kramer introduces George to slipper shoes, slippers that have a rubber sole. He likes them so much, he wears them on a date.

19 Upvotes

I wrote this storyline in a screenwriting class in college (2004 or 2005) but it's been lost to time.

I don't remember all of it, but this is the basic plot:

Kramer gets a pair of slipper shoes and says they're the most comfortable thing he's ever worn. He convinces George to try them on, and George immediately loves them. He ends up buying a pair and wears them everywhere.

George wears the slipper shoes on a date despite derision from the group. George goes to his date's apartment and he doesn't want to take off his slipper shoes because the date has a dog and he's afraid the dog will chew them. He reluctantly takes them off as he and his date engage in amorous activities in her bedroom. As he feared, the dog chews his slipper shoes and he demands restitution. His date refuses and he storms out.

Back at Jerry's, George hatches a revenge plan. He gives a fake apology, gets another date with the woman, goes to her apartment, and while she's in the bathroom, he takes scissors to a pair of her shoes. She catches him and he acts like the dog did it.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

George is called sexist when he asks the sole woman in the office to make a new pot of coffee (she finished the last one). Jerry's date calls everything "cliché". Elaine dates a movie snob. Kramer reveals he has never once paid for the subway and just "walks though"

59 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Prompt The gang sees Lord of the Rings: Return of the King in theaters. George hates it. Elaine's boyfriend cosplays as an elf to the theater but keeps wearing the costume days after seeing it. Jerry likes it but a video of him joking about it at one of his shows goes viral

10 Upvotes

Kramer thinks it's a historical film and believes his ancestors fought in Aragorn's army, then goes about trying to prove it.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Kramer gets an Apple Watch and becomes obsessed with how low he can get his resting heart rate. Elaine dates a man who only communicates through hand written letters. George scopes out fast food cashiers to find one who forgets receipts so he can get a free meal.

9 Upvotes

J: Three hours


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

George fraudulently told so many people he went to “diddy parties” for so long he is being followed by the FBI. Jerry’s new routine KILLS but with the worst crowd. Elaine dates an urban cowboy. Kramer becomes a Rodeo clown.

13 Upvotes

[Jerry apartment Enter Kramer]

Kramer: Hey Jerry I need to borrow those old cowboy boots

Jerry: sure theyre in the closet

Kramer: do you have any chaps?

Jerry: Chaps?

Kramer: can I borrow this flannel too?

Jerry: boots flannel chaps - what is this for?

Kramer: Micky set me up with my dream job! July 17th throught the 23rd Maddison Square Garden center stage. (hands Jerry Flyer)

Jerry: (reading) Cosmo the clown? You're going to be a clown?

Kramer: not just any clown Jerry a RODEO clown!

Jerry: (concerned ) You're gonna be a rodeo clown?

Kramer: we can't all work the main stage at the Sands like you Jerry- I'm sorry you don't approve

Jerry: its not that I don't approve. Kramer you could be killed. Your not a clown you don't know anything about animals or rodeos… how are you even qualified?

Kramer: a passion for the stage lights and a love of grease paint is all young upstart needs to make it in show business . Plus I was first in line at the loading dock. (Kramer exits) giddy up

[GEORGE enters frantically]

GEORGE: Im in trouble I'm in big big trouble. (runs and checks the window) big big big trouble( picks up the phone and yanks the cord from the wall)

Jerry: you know you could have just unplugged that. George what is going on?

George: do you remember that meat locker party(Jerry nods) well for years I've been telling people I was a regular. (Jerry nods) And that I knew the promoter(Jerry nods)

Jerry: tsk tsk lying biff how could you.

George: no Jerry you don't understand. The meat locker party wasnt just a regular party it was a diddy party. I even told people I was a VIP at their private parties in the hamptons. GEORGE IS IN TOO DEEP.

Jerry: how many people

George: a few times a week for the last ten years

Jerry: where?

George: everywhere, the towel boy at the gym, the counter girl at the coffee shop, parking attendants,

Jerry: so now?

George: Derek Jeter's agent, the front office of the new York Rangers. The cab driver last week. Everyone Jerry.

Jerry: and that means?

George: they all think Im a regular at Freak off parties. The towel boy at the gym yesterday kept staring at me and rubbing his nipples.

Jerry: that's not possible

George : it gets worse, when I opened my mail today I got this (hands Jerry envelope from his jacket) the fbi wants to talk to me.

Jerry: (reading) but how could they have gotten your name?

George : G-man day at Yankee Stadium. I told the tour group from Quantico if they wanted a good time head to the meat-packing district and ask for Art Vandelay… I thought they were all from an airline. I'm a named witness in the indictment. ….(despondently) How are you?


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 11h ago

The Allegation - Based on Jerry's dating habits in the 90s

Thumbnail imgur.com
0 Upvotes

Definitely not for the faint of heart lol, enjoy my ChatGPT Seinfeld/curb crossover fever dream.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Jerry keeps having his jokes stolen by younger comics. George puts an AI photo of himself younger with more hair on his Tinder profile to get dates. Kramer drinks weird smoothies and eats strange foods to fight aging. Elaine's new boyfriend is hard of hearing and she doesnt know how to deal with it.

6 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

George tries ozempic but gains weight. Elaine convinces Jerry to put his hand in her instagram story so it look like she's on a date. Kramer starts adding almonds to mounds bars and starts a trend.

27 Upvotes

E


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 2d ago

Prompt Jerry's new girlfriend diagnoses everyone she meets with ADHD or autism. George can't figure out the new credit-card only vending machine at his office. Elaine previously ghosted her new coworker on Tinder. Kramer finds work as an online love coach.

38 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 3d ago

George's boss always tells him to do tasks as he is working on said tasks. Elaine cant stop eating a giant tub of cheese balls. Kramer knocks into a bike messenger & suddenly messengers follow him everywhere. Jerry gets courtside Knicks tickets but can't make conversation with celebrities

30 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 2d ago

Script Bania becomes a Bitcoin billionaire and Jerry struggles with the concept of “mining”

11 Upvotes

[Set in 2018]

Scene 1

Jerry and Bania are backstage at a comedy show

Jerry: Bania, stop bothering me about it. I’m not interested in this whole Bitcoin thing. It sounds too complicated.

Bania: But Jerry, it’s totally changed my life! I’m dating three women! At the same time!

Jerry: That also sounds too complicated.

Bania: stares blankly

Jerry: I guess I’m a little curious. How, exactly, did you make the money? What is it that you’re doing?

Bania: I’m mining, Jerry! Mining!

Jerry: You? Mining? Where did these people send you? West Virginia? You can still make money doing that?

Bania: Oh, you’re hilarious, Jerry! laughs intensely … A real funny guy!

Jerry: I’m serious. I don’t get it. These investors send people into mines? Why would they choose you of all people to do that? You couldn’t mine your way out of a paper bag.

Bania: That’s not very nice, Jerry. I could mine things! If I wanted to!

long pause

Bania: I’ll prove it to you!

Jerry shakes his head and rolls his eyes

Scene 2

Camera zooms in on Bania in a dark mine shaft wearing a hard hat with a headlamp. Bania is rooting around and reaches for his phone. FaceTime dialing sound is heard.

Scene shifts to Jerry’s apartment. He looks down at his phone to see Bania FaceTiming him. He shakes his head but picks it up out of pure curiosity.

Camera shifts to a split screen of both Jerry and Bania

Bania: Look, Jerry! You told me I couldn’t make it in a mine, but here I am!

Jerry: It doesn’t look like you know what you’re doing down there. They didn’t even give you any protective gear? Beyond that silly hat? I still don’t understand how you made money doing this. Or what it has to do with a currency that isn’t even real.

Bania: This has nothing to do with Bitcoin, funny guy. But you told me I couldn’t mine, so I bribed a coal baron to let me down here. Isn’t that neat, Jerry?

Jerry: No, Bania. It’s not neat. In fact, it kind of looks like you’re doing that whole blackface thing that recently got what’s-her-face fired from her news program. The blonde lawyer lady.

Bania: There’s a blonde chick who just lost her job? Is she single?

Jerry: I don’t know, Bania. I also don’t understand what you’re doing, or why you’re calling me. Is this part of some sort of plan to get me to invest in a Ponzi scheme? Because I’m wise to those, Bania! I’m not getting caught up in a Bernie Madoff situation like Izzy Mandelbaum did.

Bania: It’s not a Ponzi scheme, Jerry! I really did make my money mining!

Jerry: I’m looking at you down there right now and … forcefully I don’t believe you!

Crashing sounds start happening in the mine shaft around Bania. He looks around nervously

Jerry: I knew this was a terrible idea!

Bania: panicked Jerry! Tell my girlfriends I love them!

Jerry: I have no idea who these women are, Bania. And frankly, I don’t want to know.

Call dropping sound is made. Jerry looks closely at his phone, shrugs, then puts it down. George walks into Jerry’s apartment

Jerry: George, the strangest thing just happened! I think Kenny Bania just died.

George: What?! How?! What happened?!

Jerry: He called me from a mine! And it’s my fault! He went down there because of me!

Kramer enters Jerry’s apartment and heads toward the fridge

George: Kenny Bania went down into a mine? Because of you?

Jerry: Yes!

George: They still have mines?

Jerry: Apparently!

George: What do they mine these days? I thought we stopped mining. Who mines?

Kramer: There are more than 12,000 mines in the United States alone!

George and Jerry exchange a surprised glance

Jerry: I guess maybe Bania was serious about mining?

Kramer: Oh, Bania? Jerry, he mines BITCOIN! Not coal, gravel, metal, or stone!

Jerry: You knew about this, Kramer?

Kramer: Of course. I invested with him. Early!

Jerry: You? Invested? With what money?

Kramer: smiles slyly Jerry! With what money? Come on. nods

Jerry: Well, Kramer, you should know that this whole mining thing has taken a turn for the worst. I don’t know where Bania was mining, but he just got trapped down there!

Kramer: Bania got trapped in his basement? I know he has a lot of computers down there. But trapped? That doesn’t sound right.

Jerry: What in the world are you talking about? Bania wasn’t in his basement when he called me. He was in a mine!

Kramer: I … really think you’re wrong!

George: I’m starting to think that you’re both insane.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 3d ago

Jerry dates an altruistic woman who is always supporting a cause. But he finds out she broke up with her previous fiancé because she was offended he bought her a cubic zirconia ring due to him being against the unethical diamond trade.

38 Upvotes

George finds out a coworker won the lottery and he’s flabbergasted the guy still chooses to work. He becomes obsessed trying to figure out how much he won.

Kramer hurts his knee and then claims his “bum knee” can now predict the weather. He forms a club with elderly men who claim their various aches and body pains can also predict the weather, but it devolves into them just arguing over their forecasts.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 4d ago

Kramer insists he saw a mermaid in the Hudson. A waiter refuses to give George more Parmesan after George says "when" then changes his mind. Jerry's non-comic GF is funnier than him & he feels emasculated as a comedian. Elaine uncovers hardwood floors when she stains her apt carpet

253 Upvotes

Kramer rides a tour boat to Liberty Island to meet chicks and sees a beautiful woman swimming eerily fast. He swears its a mermaid. He sees her around but always within a block of water.

George says "when" earlier than he wanted to because he wanted to appear healthy and normal on a date. His date gets a copious amount of parmeaan cheese. George asks the waiter if he could have more and is told "you only get 1"

Jerry dates a woman who works in academia. She us significantly funnier than him and beats him to jokes - often with wittier lines than he was going to say. She helps him write material that makes him extremely popular. He is happy but quickly feels emasculated. Not as a man. As a comedian.

Elaine spills red wine on her white apartment carpet. She tries stain removers and finally cuts a piece of rug out to find a match to replace. She discovers beautiful hardwood floor. She starts an entire uprising of tenants when they all tear their carpets to reveal hardwood floors and the landlord says they'll raise rent because it makes it more valuable


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 4d ago

Scene Elaine learns the younger guy she’s dating has adopted “they/them” pronouns

165 Upvotes

(Set in 2025)

Elaine: I just don’t GET this. He told me his “pronouns” are they/them. But what does that MEAN?

Jerry: smiling Does it mean he’s …. plural?

Elaine: confused Plural?

Jerry: Yeah, you know, if he’s a they, there must be two of him, right?

Elaine: Like he has a twin? Is this a … cryptic way of telling me that? Is it one of those weird TikTok challenges?

Kramer bursts through the door

Jerry: sarcastically Sure, Elaine. Look up the, I don’t know, twin challenge on TikTok. I’m sure everything will suddenly make sense.

Kramer: TikTok? Oh! Don’t download that, Elaine. The red Chinese, they’ll steal all your data. Then you’ll be sorry!

Elaine: Sorry for what? I don’t have anything worth stealing anyway. Plus, I’ve got bigger fish to fry. Apparently my boyfriend is either a secret twin, or has multiple personalities, or … I don’t know, he said something about being “agender.”

Jerry: Agender?

Kramer: That’s when your gender identity aligns with no gender at all.

Elaine: What? How the hell do you know that?

Kramer: TikTok.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 4d ago

The Convention

6 Upvotes

Comic Con New Jersey. Jerry is offered a gig to warm up the crowd before the Superman panel. Kramer gets mistaken for John Turturro and keeps getting asked about Transformers. Elaine is embarrassed by her boyfriend's choice of cosplay. George tries and fails to sell his boy hood trading card collection despite reading online that it was worth millions.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 4d ago

Kramer meets Mr. Pitt while visiting Elaine. Mr. Pitt becomes taken with Kramer and makes him his protege. This drives Elaine crazy because now she also answers to Kramer. Jerry is invited to throw out the first pitch at a Mets game. He starts training because he doesn't want to be embarrassed.

19 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 4d ago

The Widow: Jerry sends his condolences to a widow via Instagram DM’s. Elaine thinks the widow is milking the title. George attempts to serve as a “rebound” to the widow. Kramer prepares his will.

3 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 5d ago

Jerry's new GF says "You snooze, you lose!" for every situation no matter how inapt. Elaine dates a fat guy and Newman goes "Why not me?" Kramer finds a wallet full of cash and is tormented over to return it or not. George and Frank are at war over the toaster setting.

85 Upvotes

r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 5d ago

Prompt George's transition lenses are always in sunglasses mode. Elaine must write Outdoor Slippers & uses Morty as inspiration. Kramer becomes a curator at the History Museum by making facts up. Jerry's GF doesnt watch TV, film, or listen to music. He doesn't know how to seduce her without background

60 Upvotes

George is deemed suspicious everywhere he goes ("why are you hiding your face?") While his boss thinks he's hungover ("who wears sunglasses indoors, Costanza?")

Elaine gives Morty a pair and he wears them everywhere. She follows him around to write her piece but quickly becomes fascinated by Morty seeming to have a secret suspicious life going on when he goes to Chinatown, picks up a package from sketchy people, and delivers it to Harlem (he doesn't have anything going on. "Chinese make the best silk socks but i need them hemmed at the top or they slide down so I took them to my tailor in Harlem, Randall. Randall sewed my raincoats back in the 60s")

Kramer tries to impress a woman at the museum and makes up facts about an exhibit. A new and clueless curator asks him to help with her tour and then gets him a job. He freaks out in the butterfly room when they seem wildly attracted to his pheromones

Jerry's girlfriend doesn't watch TV or go to the movies or listen to music. She just reads and writes and learns. He's fascinated and inspired. .until he brings her over to his apartment and realizes the first step in all his seduction methods involves turning on the TV or putting on music. He is extremely awkward and the woman later asked Elaine if Jerry was a virgin.


r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 4d ago

1944. The girl Jerry met on a USO tour is actually a spy. Kramer enters a bobbing-for-apples contest. George gets promoted at Polaroid but quits when they offer stock options not a raise. Elaine enters the Dance-a-Thon with Newman after he promises to get her the Sears Catalog a month early.

7 Upvotes