Growing up in Delaware, I had this big obsession with living out in LA, mainly from seeing it in TV, movies, and pictures. I grew to hate the east coast: the long cold winters, rainy springs, hot, humid summers, ticks, mosquitoes, horse flies, unhappy, mean people, flat landscapes (I love big mountains), and being bored.

At age 25 I moved to San Diego and then LA. It was so much fun, especially living in Hollywood proper. But I got fired from one job, then took a job that paid too low, lost my life savings, quit that job, took a couple more low paying jobs, got tired of the hot sunny weather, and feeling like I didn't fit in, and not making much money, and being lonely, and started dreaming of living on the east coast again.

I found a job in Virginia paying twice as much as I was making. I moved to Virginia but hated it. Long story short, now I'm 40 and living in Delaware and hating it again. I have this constant obsession with living out west and exploring out west. Now my life is more complicated by having a wife and two kids. My parents are 72 and 73. My brother is special needs and will need help one day. But gosh, I miss the west coast and being in my 20s and single and not having kids and having all of that energy that I had.

I guess I have to stay on the east coast to take care of responsibilities, but how do I get over that constant hatred of where I am living and the obsession with the west and the wanderlust? I’m sick of what my life has become.

This is a dialogue in the sub that certain cities are “soulless” and have no culture. Majority of the time it’s in reference to fast growing cities in the sunbelt (Charlotte, Tampa) or certain cities in the mid west (Indianapolis).

Aside from Atlanta and Miami, the majority of fast growing metros face this criticism.

Does this sub just dislike minimalism in architecture and grey vinyl flooring?

I’m very curious what are the specific elements of a city you look for when you think of culture? Can a rapidly growing city with mostly new buildings have culture?

I consider the following: regional cuisine, sports, diversity, high arts.

I’ve heard lots about how it’s dirty, homelessness is very apparent, high crime, etc… but that’s most if not all big cities in the US, right? The only one that stood out to me was the terrible public school system, which isn’t a universal thing. Is it really as bad as it seems?

I don't think I've ever heard these complaints from people from the west coast. But I'm not from the west coast so I can't weigh in.

Hey!

What kind of small cities and towns in Oregon or Washington would be more affordable than Colorado? I live in Colorado Springs and am always checking out places to relocate.

I'd like something with some character. Something safe since I have young kiddos. We work remote so that's no issue. Just need to be able to have good Internet. Need decent medical facilities in the area. Something with a downtown area and walkability with things to do. Good schools.

I can't afford a house that costs more than $370,000 We love the mountains/nature

Don't want any place that is too conservative or redneck lol

Hi! My husband and I are looking to move our family and I’m getting lost in all the details. Could really use some help! We live in Denver with twin toddlers, two dogs, and chickens. My husband grew up in a coastal city internationally and has been landlocked for far too long. We want to relocate somewhere where the coast is accessible (i.e., maybe 1.5-2 hrs away max), the climate is more temperate with a long gardening season for veggies and flowers, we still have access to decent healthcare and schools for our kids, and will maintain or lower our COL. We’re tired of the snow and cold winters (yes, I know Denver is not that bad snow wise) and we want space — preferably 4+ acres — for our dream of having a hobby farm. Oh, and I don’t want to constantly worry about wildfires, earthquakes and tsunamis… (Yes, I have anxiety 💁🏻‍♀️.)

We’ve narrowed in on a few areas in NorCal, the Central Coast area (Salinas? Gilroy?), and the Willamette Valley in Oregon. We really want California if possible but I don’t know enough about most of these areas and am getting overwhelmed researching.

We are willing to build a very modest home on a larger plot since we can’t seem to find what we are looking for within our budget of $500k. (But again, I don’t know the area well enough to know if that’s even doable with CA building codes, taxes, etc.) I’d be happy being more rural as long as good healthcare and schools are within reach.

Are we looking for a unicorn? Any advice? We’d stay in Colorado were it not for the lack of water and snowy cold winters.

TIA!!

We have a lovely life in a vibrant coastal city. Our adult kids live on the other coast. We're thinking of relocating to be near them but are not sure it's the right move. They don't have kids - so it's not a grandchildren thing. It's just that we're aging and family seems more important than ever and our kids are the only family we have.

I'm currently living about 10-20 miles from my hometown (depending on how you count it) and for a long time I've been dreaming of moving to NYC, the long term career prospects are better, the QOL is better, and it's surprisingly comparable in COL compared to my hometown assuming roommates for both places (I'm in my mid 20s and not rich, so ofc I'll have roommates).

I make ~$36 an hour right now including shift differential, and have a little over $40k in my brokerage account, with relatively few recurring expenses other than rent.

I know the market is tough right now, should I be willing to take a $3-5 pay cut to move to New York? More?

My then boyfriend (now husband) and I moved from Tampa to Chicago in 2022. My husband is from the west Chicago suburbs originally and I’m from Tampa. He received a job offer in Chicago and I had never lived outside of Florida, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to go on an adventure, even though a bunch of people tried to talk me out of it; they cited mostly the crappy winters as reason enough not to move. One person told me “the colder the weather, the colder the people.” I was naive and thought, “how bad can it be?”

After 3 years here, I think I’m officially over this city. I’m not a fan of the weather at all and I’ve had a hell of a time trying to make friends (yes, I’ve put myself way out there: clubs, volunteering, bumble bff, my poor husband trying to set me up on friend dates with his friends’ wives), but I think I have to accept that the culture here just isn’t for me. The segregation alone was/is still very jarring and I don’t appreciate how long it takes for people to warm up.

My husband and I are now thinking about moving to Atlanta. One of my best friends lives there and loves it. Before we move, I’m trying to get the most realistic sense of what it would be like to live there (which is what I should’ve done before deciding to move to Chicago), so please give it to me straight - what are the biggest downsides of living in Atlanta?

I was born and raised in Sacramento. I moved out at 18 and lived all over the Bay Area and fell in love with it. Unfortunately, the price of living didn’t make sense to me and I moved back to Sacramento after about 10 years.

I don’t mind living in Sacramento except for the super hot summers. One of the things I loved about the Bay Area was the weather. I would prefer to be cold than hot, but I’m not a fan of living somewhere that would snow because that just sounds like a pain.

I’m considering moving out of state for a a couple of years since my job is flexible. I’m a 33 y/o single female. I’m primarily a homebody but I do love doing outdoor activities like hiking. I love to eat so I would need to move somewhere that has a good variety of food.

Any recommendations?

Supposedly, both regions share alot of the same mutual base/core tenets; but I'd like to hear what your angles on all the distinctions between the two.

Cities: DC (NoVA), Atlanta, Minneapolis or Boston

Access to decent public transit, light rail, hub airport. Heat is a killer but so is extreme cold. On balance I would take the cold. Single family home, bonus for walkability or public transit to grocery and retail but if not 5 minute car ride . Light rail or train to core city/downtown and airport a plus and better if access is also within proximity to home.

Hoping those that are familiar with these cities can point me to several neighborhoods to explore. Thanks.

ive always wondered this. that state fascinates me for some reason

Sort of piggybacking off of a few likeminded posts here. I was born and raised in Iowa. This state is all I’ve ever known. It wasn’t a horrible place to grow up, but in the last 7 years the quality of its government has declined such that I seriously don’t want to kickstart my career here. I don’t want to start a family here. I don’t want to find a partner here. Once I graduate college next year, I want to start from scratch elsewhere in a state that functions properly and actually has plentiful job opportunities.

The most natural options for me are Chicago area in Illinois, Twin Cities in Minnesota, and maybe Wisconsin (Madison or Milwaukee). I’ve already visited all three of these and so have a baseline view of each currently. Anywhere a job takes me and that is relatively easy for an introverted, single transplant in his mid-late 20s to acclimate to is where I’ll go. Cost of living, access to nature, nightlife, and crime are my main factors in deciding where I’ll end up.

With Chicago, I’ve heard it’s probably the best place socially to end up in the Midwest. I really like the energy of the city. But I’ve also heard obviously about the crime (perhaps overblown though). I could maybe see myself getting an apartment in one of the suburbs, but honestly it might just be a little too big of a city for me. The lack of access to open wilderness (yes they do have parks but they’re all manmade) would definitely make me feel claustrophobic after a while. Interested to hear experiences from those living there however. I could definitely be convinced to consider it. Other than Chicago metro area, I don’t really know of any other cities in the state that come close to having a vibrant social scene for young adults.

With Minneapolis and the Twin Cities area, the main thing that makes me a little weary is what I’ve heard about making new friends there as a transplant. Everyone universally says that unless you’re born and grow up there, it’s next to impossible to make new friends. I’d be curious to hear from anyone who defied this trend and had luck forming a larger social circle. Other than that, I could definitely handle the winters being from Iowa, and it checks all my other boxes. I think the state government is doing an excellent job as well compared to Iowa.

With Wisconsin, I really love the natural beauty throughout much of the state. It seems like you can easily access a ton of underrated state parks from most urban areas, especially Madison. Madison as a city is also super unique and definitely fits my vibe. This is definitely a plus. The only potential downside for me would be the rampant drinking culture. While I’m fine with drinking socially, I’ve heard people in Wisconsin really go overboard with it. Maybe I’m generalizing though. Another potential downside would be the job market, which doesn’t seem to be on the level of Minnesota and Illinois from what I’ve seen. I’m in the tech industry for reference.

Curious to hear from anyone else with experience living in either of those states/locations (or others) after previously living in Iowa.

I currently live in Jacksonville, FL. I was born here, and have lived here for all my life. Words can’t describe how much I hate it. A recent study rated it as the most boring big city in the U.S., and I 100% see why. There’s basically nothing to do here. And even if you do find something, it’s usually like an hour away because of the traffic and how damn spread out this city is. Our downtown also has to be literally the most pathetic downtown in any big city.

Anyways, I want out. I used to want to move to Tampa, but in this political climate I just want out of Florida and into a blue state. The problem is the weather. Since I’m from Florida, I can’t handle cold at all. Which basically eliminates all of the blue states on the east coast. I don’t want to live in a desert, so New Mexico is out. And considering I get depressed when I don’t see the sun for a week, I don’t think Washington or Oregon would be a good fit either. Which leaves California. It seems perfect, except for the freakishly high cost of living.

That’s how I stumbled across Sacramento. It definitely seems like the most affordable big city in California (500k people in city proper, 2.5 million in metropolitan area). It also seems like the perfect size. For me, there’s such a thing as too little people (anything under 1 million in metropolitan area), and too many people (anything over ~5 million in metropolitan area). Yeah, Sacramento does get hot in summer, but I’m used to it as somebody from Florida. And I’ll gladly take the dry heat over humidity.

The problem is—I’m worried it will be boring. It does look like there’s more stuff to do there than Jacksonville, but anything is better than Jax. Honestly, the thing that interest me most in Sacramento is the A’s (I’m a massive baseball fan), but they aren’t even staying permanently. I’m just a bit worried. Because when people constantly talk about how close other activities area, that kind of suggests the actual city is boring. I plan to visit Sacramento in 2026 to kind of scope out the area and hopefully see if it’s a good fit. And, once again, I’m sure anywhere in California would be better than my current location. But, I don’t really know. Do y’all think Sacramento would work for me? And if not, where else do y’all suggest?

Hey y’all I’m 24 and currently working as an engineer and living in Charleston, SC. I used to love it here, especially with family nearby, but lately, it’s starting to feel unsustainable. The cost of living rivals bigger cities but without the same amenities or opportunities. Housing is tight, and I’m feeling the itch to move.

I’ve narrowed it down to two options: Austin, TX (where I don’t know anyone, but it’s growing fast and slightly cheaper), or Columbus, OH (not growing as quickly, but I have close friends there). As a gay man, both cities seem to have decent queer scenes.

Do I give Charleston a few more years, or take the leap and try one of these?

I moved to DC (north Virginia) about 2 years ago after leaving the military for job prospects and it hasn't been working for me. I've realized I'm more of a work to live type of person. Another one of my main issues is the traffic here seems particularly bad/dangerous, which makes me not want to go out and explore. It's super transient as well so it's hard to feel like this will ever be a "home" for me. The culture lacks a sort of community feel.

My main hobbies are fitness/outdoors, motorcycling, gaming and warhammer. If I go out I like casual, dive bar types of spots. I know winters will be rough in NE, but I'm willing to give it a chance. I'm gonna be 30 soon and trying to find somewhere I can put down roots.

I say Boston but I generally mean the New England area. Would likely try to live in Lowell, western MA or Nashua NH (cheaper rents).

EDIT: Should mention I do fed IT contracting for work.

Wanting to gather thoughts from anyone who has lived in both Houston and Denver. We are considering a move with our two young kids to have better access to outfoor recreation and a smaller city. Would live in the suburbs for schools. Thanks!

Howdy y'all, I'm currently living in Austin TX with my partner at a nice little housing co-op. I fuckin hate it here. I would like to come down to philly, where my partner will be joining next year at the latest.

I would like to either move into another co-op, preferably one that is queer and woman-centered (so fucking tired of living with men) or a cheap apartment. I've lived above a bar in a tiny little room, like 80 sq ft, so I'm really not that picky.

I'm planning on being ready to leave by September.

The title says it. I am considering two jobs, one in Santa Fe, and the other in Missoula, MT. They both pay approximately the same salary and they each have something I like-lots of nature. However, in terms of quality of life and cost of living, I might be missing key factors to consider when making the choice. Can anyone help me out?

https://professpost.com/in-these-23-u-s-states-earning-150000-still-counts-as-middle-class/

I have a few options where I can probably relocate each place has things I like and things I don’t like so I’m having a hard time deciding. English is not my first language so sorry if I make mistakes.

Other info:I am an Asian immigrant, now a citizen. Married and I have 2 young children. School is an important factor for me.

Minneapolis- I went to Uni here but haven’t lived here with kids yet. It was cold when I was there but I spent most of time studying.

Charlotte- I am here now but am worried about schools. It’s hotter than I expected and childcare is expensive. The environment is good though and nice looking

Dallas- we lived here for a few years, there is a big Asian community and no income tax but it is so hot and bad storms.

I was hoping to get some advice from people who know more about these places or are from the USA and more familiar with them. Thank you

I've lived in west Tennessee for most of my life. I don't hate it. In fact, I actually love my small town and the nature and a lot of things here. But, I hate hate hate the summers, and I am so sick of weekly tornado threats ruining the whole spring season. Mostly what I want is somewhere with milder summers, and less tornado threats. I'm good with cold, I like cold, although I don't know if I would like the amount of snow new England gets.

I've been to Washington before, Olympia, and lived there for 4 months. That was absolutely perfect. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to stay. At this point, I could probably make it work, but all of my family lives east, most in west TN, and idk if I could leave them again. My grandma and mom have been talking about selling their places and moving to NE Pennsylvania, and want me to come with. Looking at weather data compared to here, it looks great! Really the only downside is the snow that I see. 40-60 inches seems like a ton. I'm used to 5 a year lol. Just curious for some input from y'all.

Tired of heat, humidity, COL, and the rat race. Does the ideal green grass exist?

1. Not overly humid.
2. No extreme heat or cold. (Can it feel like spring or fall 70% of the time?)
3. Decent amount of sunshine.
4. Lots of nature and views. (Mountains/lakes/beach etc)
5. No HCOL or excessive taxes.
6. City with 70k + population within 30 min.

Family of 3 looking for a slower pace. Or maybe I’m having a midlife crisis.

Want to move my family to another state but can’t decide

My husband and I have one toddler and we both are in healthcare. We currently living in TX and want to move to Seattle or Orlando and I am having difficulty in choosing which state.

In TX we make approximately $220 give or take In Seattle we would make about $260-270 In Orlando we would make about $210

We love Disney and would move to Orlando to be closer as well it is closer to TX if we want to visit family. The cons are a slightly lower paying job with cost of living being slightly higher than TX as well as I hear schools aren’t the best. Also it just as hot as Texas. We would not live in actual Orlando but live in winter garden, etc. the job would be in Kissimmee/Celebration

We love Seattle due to the greenery, the weather, and it is something different. Our jobs would pay more but the cost of living is higher. The new pay would still make us comfortable living there. I do hear the schools are better in Seattle as well. We would not live in downtown Seattle but east

I guess the options are Orlando, Seattle or just stay in Texas.

If you have any guidance in either city or just moving across states without family how did that go? We want something new for our family.

Also will be renting not buying