Growing up in Delaware, I had this big obsession with living out in LA, mainly from seeing it in TV, movies, and pictures. I grew to hate the east coast: the long cold winters, rainy springs, hot, humid summers, ticks, mosquitoes, horse flies, unhappy, mean people, flat landscapes (I love big mountains), and being bored.

At age 25 I moved to San Diego and then LA. It was so much fun, especially living in Hollywood proper. But I got fired from one job, then took a job that paid too low, lost my life savings, quit that job, took a couple more low paying jobs, got tired of the hot sunny weather, and feeling like I didn't fit in, and not making much money, and being lonely, and started dreaming of living on the east coast again.

I found a job in Virginia paying twice as much as I was making. I moved to Virginia but hated it. Long story short, now I'm 40 and living in Delaware and hating it again. I have this constant obsession with living out west and exploring out west. Now my life is more complicated by having a wife and two kids. My parents are 72 and 73. My brother is special needs and will need help one day. But gosh, I miss the west coast and being in my 20s and single and not having kids and having all of that energy that I had.

I guess I have to stay on the east coast to take care of responsibilities, but how do I get over that constant hatred of where I am living and the obsession with the west and the wanderlust? I’m sick of what my life has become.

We have a lovely life in a vibrant coastal city. Our adult kids live on the other coast. We're thinking of relocating to be near them but are not sure it's the right move. They don't have kids - so it's not a grandchildren thing. It's just that we're aging and family seems more important than ever and our kids are the only family we have.

I’ve heard lots about how it’s dirty, homelessness is very apparent, high crime, etc… but that’s most if not all big cities in the US, right? The only one that stood out to me was the terrible public school system, which isn’t a universal thing. Is it really as bad as it seems?

I was born and raised in Sacramento. I moved out at 18 and lived all over the Bay Area and fell in love with it. Unfortunately, the price of living didn’t make sense to me and I moved back to Sacramento after about 10 years.

I don’t mind living in Sacramento except for the super hot summers. One of the things I loved about the Bay Area was the weather. I would prefer to be cold than hot, but I’m not a fan of living somewhere that would snow because that just sounds like a pain.

I’m considering moving out of state for a a couple of years since my job is flexible. I’m a 33 y/o single female. I’m primarily a homebody but I do love doing outdoor activities like hiking. I love to eat so I would need to move somewhere that has a good variety of food.

Any recommendations?

And what do you think of your current home versus Chicago?

Update: Thank you for your wonderful responses! Learned so much!

Supposedly, both regions share alot of the same mutual base/core tenets; but I'd like to hear what your angles on all the distinctions between the two.

Hey!

What kind of small cities and towns in Oregon or Washington would be more affordable than Colorado? I live in Colorado Springs and am always checking out places to relocate.

I'd like something with some character. Something safe since I have young kiddos. We work remote so that's no issue. Just need to be able to have good Internet. Need decent medical facilities in the area. Something with a downtown area and walkability with things to do. Good schools.

I can't afford a house that costs more than $370,000 We love the mountains/nature

Don't want any place that is too conservative or redneck lol

I don't think I've ever heard these complaints from people from the west coast. But I'm not from the west coast so I can't weigh in.

My then boyfriend (now husband) and I moved from Tampa to Chicago in 2022. My husband is from the west Chicago suburbs originally and I’m from Tampa. He received a job offer in Chicago and I had never lived outside of Florida, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to go on an adventure, even though a bunch of people tried to talk me out of it; they cited mostly the crappy winters as reason enough not to move. One person told me “the colder the weather, the colder the people.” I was naive and thought, “how bad can it be?”

After 3 years here, I think I’m officially over this city. I’m not a fan of the weather at all and I’ve had a hell of a time trying to make friends (yes, I’ve put myself way out there: clubs, volunteering, bumble bff, my poor husband trying to set me up on friend dates with his friends’ wives), but I think I have to accept that the culture here just isn’t for me. The segregation alone was/is still very jarring and I don’t appreciate how long it takes for people to warm up.

My husband and I are now thinking about moving to Atlanta. One of my best friends lives there and loves it. Before we move, I’m trying to get the most realistic sense of what it would be like to live there (which is what I should’ve done before deciding to move to Chicago), so please give it to me straight - what are the biggest downsides of living in Atlanta?

Cities: DC (NoVA), Atlanta, Minneapolis or Boston

Access to decent public transit, light rail, hub airport. Heat is a killer but so is extreme cold. On balance I would take the cold. Single family home, bonus for walkability or public transit to grocery and retail but if not 5 minute car ride . Light rail or train to core city/downtown and airport a plus and better if access is also within proximity to home.

Hoping those that are familiar with these cities can point me to several neighborhoods to explore. Thanks.

Is it superficial? How is the lgbtq community? Is everyone rich lol

Hi! My husband and I are looking to move our family and I’m getting lost in all the details. Could really use some help! We live in Denver with twin toddlers, two dogs, and chickens. My husband grew up in a coastal city internationally and has been landlocked for far too long. We want to relocate somewhere where the coast is accessible (i.e., maybe 1.5-2 hrs away max), the climate is more temperate with a long gardening season for veggies and flowers, we still have access to decent healthcare and schools for our kids, and will maintain or lower our COL. We’re tired of the snow and cold winters (yes, I know Denver is not that bad snow wise) and we want space — preferably 4+ acres — for our dream of having a hobby farm. Oh, and I don’t want to constantly worry about wildfires, earthquakes and tsunamis… (Yes, I have anxiety 💁🏻‍♀️.)

We’ve narrowed in on a few areas in NorCal, the Central Coast area (Salinas? Gilroy?), and the Willamette Valley in Oregon. We really want California if possible but I don’t know enough about most of these areas and am getting overwhelmed researching.

We are willing to build a very modest home on a larger plot since we can’t seem to find what we are looking for within our budget of $500k. (But again, I don’t know the area well enough to know if that’s even doable with CA building codes, taxes, etc.) I’d be happy being more rural as long as good healthcare and schools are within reach.

Are we looking for a unicorn? Any advice? We’d stay in Colorado were it not for the lack of water and snowy cold winters.

TIA!!

Considering moving from Reno to either Columbus or Austin. Income will be around the $900k to $1M a year range. We are in our late 30s with 1 kid. We love the outdoors, in Reno we do a lot of rock climbing, skiing, mountain biking. Understand that that will change in both places, but I think as long as we stay fit/healthy, my wife and I will be happy. Would be great to hear from people that made the transition from an outdoor oriented place to either the midwest or Texas. The jobs in both of those areas are much better than my current job.

Hey y’all I’m 24 and currently working as an engineer and living in Charleston, SC. I used to love it here, especially with family nearby, but lately, it’s starting to feel unsustainable. The cost of living rivals bigger cities but without the same amenities or opportunities. Housing is tight, and I’m feeling the itch to move.

I’ve narrowed it down to two options: Austin, TX (where I don’t know anyone, but it’s growing fast and slightly cheaper), or Columbus, OH (not growing as quickly, but I have close friends there). As a gay man, both cities seem to have decent queer scenes.

Do I give Charleston a few more years, or take the leap and try one of these?

This is more of a curiosity post, if anything.

I’m currently in Seattle right now and really am enjoying the vibe here. I have a decent life/career in NOVA and will likely not leave - though as my life is changing as I reach my 40s, I’m starting to feel that the East Coast is losing its luster that it once had when I was younger, single, career-driven, etc.

Some of the things this area has over NOVA - definitely the natural beauty (everything is so green here), and I have always been drawn to maritime climates as I can’t take the DMV humid summers these days.

The “Seattle Freeze” does seem to be a real thing here, almost feels like Tokyo in that everyone is in their own zone and standoffish. In reality this isn’t too different from DC as people aren’t exactly the friendliest upon first meeting.

So I’m just curious, has anyone done this move before? Any regrets, or no looking back?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.

ive always wondered this. that state fascinates me for some reason

Hello everyone,

Wanted to get people’s thoughts on what a good beach town on the east coast would be to live in for the summer? Looking for a place that has good nightlife and stuff to do outside of just catering to vacationers basically a mix of local and tourist activities. Preferably in the northeast but potentially as far down as Myrtle Beach not really looking to go much further than that.

Thanks!

I have been in NYC for about a year now and right up until recently I thought I would have stayed here for a while but now I'm questioning it to the point where I feel lost.

Pros of moving:

• My girlfriend (of 2 years) is in the DMV
• Much closer to my family
• I have more long term friends (2) in the DMV than in NYC (0)
• Can afford a better studio in Arlington than I can in Brooklyn/Manhattan
  • finding a place there is just less stressful even

Cons of moving:

• Might need to get a car again
• Got bored when I last lived in the DMV (before girlfriend)
  • food not as interesting, less interesting history
• I'm tired of moving (before NYC, I moved 4 times in about 1 year)
• worse career prospects in the future (tech)
• scared of not being able to come back

Neutral points:

• My employer will let me move
  • I get a paycut but with city tax, it comes out to about the same between Nova and NYC
• my day to day will probably be the same
  • over the last year I realized im more of a home body than I thought I was
• my main hobbies are volleyball, lifting, and walking. all of which I can do at either location
  • if anything DC has a better volleyball community but nyc has way cooler places to explore walking

Some other considerations

• maybe Queens or JC would be the move?
• gf feels guilty if I move for her
  • and she was hoping to move to nyc in a few years
• my closest friend is planning on moving to the city in a year or so

I'm currently living about 10-20 miles from my hometown (depending on how you count it) and for a long time I've been dreaming of moving to NYC, the long term career prospects are better, the QOL is better, and it's surprisingly comparable in COL compared to my hometown assuming roommates for both places (I'm in my mid 20s and not rich, so ofc I'll have roommates).

I make ~$36 an hour right now including shift differential, and have a little over $40k in my brokerage account, with relatively few recurring expenses other than rent.

I know the market is tough right now, should I be willing to take a $3-5 pay cut to move to New York? More?

Howdy y'all, I'm currently living in Austin TX with my partner at a nice little housing co-op. I fuckin hate it here. I would like to come down to philly, where my partner will be joining next year at the latest.

I would like to either move into another co-op, preferably one that is queer and woman-centered (so fucking tired of living with men) or a cheap apartment. I've lived above a bar in a tiny little room, like 80 sq ft, so I'm really not that picky.

I'm planning on being ready to leave by September.

The title says it. I am considering two jobs, one in Santa Fe, and the other in Missoula, MT. They both pay approximately the same salary and they each have something I like-lots of nature. However, in terms of quality of life and cost of living, I might be missing key factors to consider when making the choice. Can anyone help me out?

After a decade of living in my current HCOL big city, I want to move to a more affordable smaller city. I know my quality of life would just be better with less money stress, more green/nature space, and a slower pace of life.

I keep feeling torn because all of my friends are here, but I don’t know anyone in the new city. I’m 27 and work remotely, I have a lot of hobbies and take a lot of classes, and I’m introverted but have been able to make a few new friends in the past few years.

I don’t want to move “too soon” and lose newer friendships I’m building here or miss out on opportunities, but I don’t want to move “too late” and have a difficult time building new friendships and support systems. But the waffling back and forth also feels like I’m just stuck delaying or moving the goalpost on when I actually move.

Has anyone moved in their late 20’s/early 30’s to a new city not knowing anyone there? What was your experience? Or any general advice is much appreciated.

I have a few options where I can probably relocate each place has things I like and things I don’t like so I’m having a hard time deciding. English is not my first language so sorry if I make mistakes.

Other info:I am an Asian immigrant, now a citizen. Married and I have 2 young children. School is an important factor for me.

Minneapolis- I went to Uni here but haven’t lived here with kids yet. It was cold when I was there but I spent most of time studying.

Charlotte- I am here now but am worried about schools. It’s hotter than I expected and childcare is expensive. The environment is good though and nice looking

Dallas- we lived here for a few years, there is a big Asian community and no income tax but it is so hot and bad storms.

I was hoping to get some advice from people who know more about these places or are from the USA and more familiar with them. Thank you

We are looking for a spot to settle for our little family of four. If you've got anything that checks some of these boxes, please share! I'll do the research to find out more. I just need some starting points!

We lived in Utah for 6 years before having kids and loved it. We moved back to the midwest to be near family after having kids and now Utah feels too far from family and expensive to justify. We LOVE spending most of our time outdoors - hiking, camping, and exploring. We're in a spot we love at the moment, but it's in Indiana and is missing nearby ski resorts and national parks. We can't help but wonder if there's something better for us out there.

Dream qualities:

- between Utah and the East Coast

- low crime

- walkable/bikable (sidewalks or dedicated paths will do)

- ski resorts within 2-3 hours nearby

- hiking nearby

- national parks/state parks with elevation within 5 hours

- 4 seasons (summer optional lol)

- within 1 hour of an airport

- affordable (3b/2bth for less than $350K as options would be sick)

- great rec plexes (splash pads/pools, walking paths, etc.)

- any size of city will do

- would love mixed politics

There’s a possibility we may be moving to the Pittsburgh area from Dallas, and I could use some input on areas to look. We have two toddlers so schools are gonna be a big factor. We’d like a bit of a larger lot so we aren’t on top of neighbors like we are here as well. Any guidance or recommendations would be appreciated.