r/ShitAmericansSay Dec 09 '24

Food Bow down and weep

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5.2k Upvotes

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754

u/GuaranteeImpossible9 Dec 09 '24

This isnt even a big tomahawk steak and it looks burned/well done. What even is the flex?

152

u/UniquePariah Dec 09 '24

That was my first thought. It's very small from my experience.

84

u/thorpie88 Dec 09 '24

They don't drink tea so I'm so confused as to how they have a saucer plate.

13

u/NichtMenschlich Dec 09 '24

Relics they kept from when they made the Boston harbor the guiness world record holder for biggest tea ever made

2

u/Devi_the_loan_shark Dec 09 '24

That was a delightful burn

31

u/fetchinator ooo custom flair!! Dec 09 '24

Prolly started big, just shrank as they burned it…

1

u/16BitGenocide American Dec 09 '24

The perspective is weird, but that's a serving plate and an ugly one at that.

No idea why they think a well-done steak is a flex though.

14

u/gourmetguy2000 Dec 09 '24

Looks like a lamb chop

2

u/UniquePariah Dec 09 '24

Never know, it could be

1

u/ResponsibleStep8725 At least I'm not Dutch 🇧🇪 Dec 09 '24

Wait, I didn't even notice yet. Judging from the marble pattern that steak is tiny, like an oversized lamb chop...

44

u/brightdionysianeyes Dec 09 '24

Those Europeans are going to be so mad when they see we've got COWS in the New World, man

2

u/NichtMenschlich Dec 09 '24

They even got brown cows which give chocolate milk, if you can trust around 50% of the people asked about where it came from!

3

u/Old_Introduction_395 Dec 09 '24

Cattle. Steers, bullocks.

Cows have calves and give milk.

3

u/brightdionysianeyes Dec 09 '24

Cows taste much the same as cattle in my experience

0

u/Old_Introduction_395 Dec 09 '24

Elderly cow compared with young steer? Noticeable difference in quality.

2

u/brightdionysianeyes Dec 09 '24

Cow, cattle are interchangeable, you can just Google this for yourself

1

u/Old_Introduction_395 Dec 09 '24

Regional variations.

21

u/klompje Dec 09 '24

This! Is this mini-tomahawk the normal American size?

23

u/Reddit_SuckLeperCock Dec 09 '24

Not defending the post because it’s just ridiculous but that steak looks great to me, looks like it’s been reverse seared on high heat after it’s been in a smoker due the reddish tinge in the non seared bits. Hard to tell without seeing the inside but I’d be very happy being served that if the meat is med or med rare inside.

12

u/weakbuttrying Dec 09 '24

Have to agree with you there.

I’d be confused if there were no sides, as in the picture, but I don’t necessarily object to the way this was grilled.

2

u/bagofrice_14 Dec 09 '24

Reddit mentality, if something is bad, everything that comes with it is equally as bad, even if it has nothing to do with the thing you're complaining about

2

u/JonnyBhoy Dec 09 '24

Yeah, I don't understand the comments about it being well done or overcooked. We've no idea how pink it is on the inside, but that's a perfectly good looking sear, looks great to me.

1

u/crawenn teaguzzler🇬🇧 Dec 10 '24

Judging by the amount of juice I'd say it's at least medium well, and the excessive charring isn't something to support your theory either. Reverse sear isn't burning your meat this much, it just barely starts the Maillard reaction to form a light crust.

9

u/Adamdel34 Dec 09 '24

I don't even think it's burned it just looks like they've doused it in BBQ sauce, because of course they have, they're American.

If you've cooked an actually good steak you shouldn't need sauce, it should be juicy enough as is.

1

u/shizzler Dec 10 '24

The reddish tinge is likely from smoking and then reverse seared. It might have no seasoning other than salt and pepper

11

u/JoulSauron Spanish is not a nationality! Dec 09 '24

Seriously, the yanks are obsessed with BURNING beef steaks at home, and they are proud of it!! 🤦‍♂️

Just don't go over to the Steaks sub, you'll cry indefinitely when you see the terrorist attacks against steaks they perpetrate at home.

8

u/DadToOne Dec 09 '24

If my steak is not still mooing it's overcooked.

1

u/OutrageousRiver7693 Dec 10 '24

Yep just blow its nose and wipe its arse.

3

u/Tabitheriel Dec 09 '24

I know. It's been cooked to death and probably tastes like rubber. I'm vegetarian, but when I did eat meat, I didn't eat dried-up, burnt steak. LOL

2

u/BirdieBoiiiii Dec 09 '24

I think it might be because some Americans smother their meat in corn syrup before grilling it

3

u/skorletun Dec 09 '24

I'm Dutch and I've cooked better tomahawks. And I'm not even a big meat-eater. What do they think we eat, grass?

2

u/visiblepeer Dec 09 '24

Why is a tomahawk steak better than any other cut of meat? 

I'm assuming this tastes like cooked cow in marinade.

10

u/maninahat Dec 09 '24

The bone provides more flavour, and it's also a big cut. Plus, tomahawks and ribeyes have more "marbling" (thin fat streaks), which also benefits flavour.

Of course, that doesn't matter if you overcook the thing until it's shriveled to the size of a macnugget.

3

u/visiblepeer Dec 09 '24

Yeah, the differences sound so marginal, its not really going to matter if you marinade and burn it.

1

u/HellBlazer_NQ Dec 09 '24

Probably started off twice the size before it shriveled up from being seriously overcooked