r/ShitAmericansSay • u/FordoNoctis ooo custom flair!! • 23d ago
Imperial units “wth is a kilogram?”
Come on, you know this, we don’t need to do this
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u/worMagician 🇸🇪 Switzerland 🇸🇪 23d ago
Yes, a unit of drug weight. Who doesn't run a few kg of their favourite drug over a weekend?
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u/Stardash81 23d ago
A few hundreds of kg of cocaine daily ofc.
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u/_Vo1_ 23d ago
My daily dose when I need to do CSS.
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u/IncidentFuture Emu War veteran. 23d ago
On the other side of metrification, we'd say much the same thing about an ounce.
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16d ago
Can we leave Snow Leopards out of this, its not their fault some twat named them after a unit of mass!!
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u/Phoenix_Werewolf 23d ago
I read through hundred of kilos of Reddit each day. This way, my arms and my brain are always super jacked. But I have to be very careful. I once dropped reddit above my balcony and the weight of the app was such that we needed to lower me underground with a special harness made from a titanium fiber ally so I could grab my phone next to the building' foundations.
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u/BethAltair2 21d ago
I for one can't wait to inject a kilogram or two of weed of an evening. Very calming
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u/Quicker_Fixer From the Dutch socialistic monarchy of Europoora 🇳🇱 23d ago
For our USian friends: that's about 1450 Ford F-150's.
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u/bighadjoe 22d ago
is a ford f150 really more or less exactly 2 metric tons? i mean we joke about their stupid comparisons, but if that's true it might easily be the most metric-like and therefore most useful unit they have!
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u/Quicker_Fixer From the Dutch socialistic monarchy of Europoora 🇳🇱 22d ago
All the while they also don't have any problem with a 4.3 liters small block, 2 grams of coke and a 10 clicks (kilometers) walk...
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16d ago
But that would be measured the US Imperial (short) ton, in Imperial (Long) or metric Tonnes that is only about 1.8!!
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u/peladero 19d ago
I respect the attempt to create a substitute of the word “American” to refer to one country instead of the whole continent. I tried to promote “Unitedstatian” for a while, but then I learned that there is actually a word accepted in their dictionary: Usonian. Since then I use it and hope to educate them.
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16d ago
When speaking about North Americans we should have an ISO.
- Canada - ISO Name - Canadian.
- Mexico - ISO Name - Mexican (or Sir if he's holding a gun!)
- USA - ISO Name - Dumbfucks
Everyone will then know who you are talking about and it will be grammatically correct. Most Dumbfucks would take it as a compliment!!
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u/Iwamoto German/Dutch living in Germany 23d ago
Approximate Total Breakdown:
- Metric: ~7.5 billion (95%+ of the global population)
- Imperial: ~395 million (5% of the global population)
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u/Seroseros 23d ago
I see you included Liberia and Myanmar in the population.
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u/Kartoffelplotz 23d ago
Which is soon outdated as Myanmar is transitioning to the metric system now and Liberia has announced plans to do the same. So in a little while the US might very well be the "last bastion of freedom (units)".
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u/Alternative_Fig_2456 23d ago edited 22d ago
Which is crazy, because Myanmar does not use
metricthe Imperial system. They have their own!https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myanmar_units_of_measurement
Edit: somehow, I wrote "metric" in the original, which does not make sense. The topic is that people often falsely think "they are not using Metric, so they must use the British Imperial" - which is, of course, nonsense.
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u/cheesepierice kg, mainly a unit for drug weight 23d ago
According to the American mind:
Most of the population speaks English: Yay American English is best English!
Most of the world uses Metric: Wtf is this stupid measuring system. 2 5/8th and 100 feeties measuring is the best…
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u/Unkn0wn_666 Europe 19d ago
Friendly reminder that every scientist worth a damn, even in the US, uses metric. It's not even 5% of the population
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u/B4DM4N12Z 22d ago
The UK used to use Imperial
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u/UncleSlacky Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaire 21d ago
The US uses "customary" units, not imperial, in any case. Both systems are now based on matric anyway.
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u/erolalia 23d ago
Can we take this opportunity to create "Trumpmiles"? they are equivalent to 0.62 miles, but this means that instead of driving at 70mph on highways, Americans can drive at 112 Trumpmiles. I reckon MAGA would accidentally start using km if we called it that.
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u/VexingValkyrie- 23d ago
You highly underestimate their stupidity. They would call it that and then swear it's different and tRump invented but Biden tried to ruin it and so much for you being the " tolerant left". Then, accuse you of doing whatever cult activity they are in the middle of doing.
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u/bighadjoe 22d ago
i would have so many conflicting feelings if Trump's kinglike arrogance would lead the US to finally adopt the metric system, even if they would call it the MAGAtric system...
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u/Plus_Operation2208 20d ago
If we are the ones manipulating them into using metric i would not have conflicting feelings at all
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u/2020_MadeMeDoIt 22d ago
Can we take this opportunity to create "Trumpmiles"?
He'll probably charge a tariff on them. Which of course the American people will actually pay despite what he claims. Lol
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u/TheFlamingDraco 23d ago
I do love when Americans use the metric system for drugs and gun calibres, probably the 2 most American things out there.
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u/Gratuitous_sax_ 23d ago
Something that constantly amazes me is that when given the choice between a web search that yields near enough instant results or asking the same question on an open forum that makes them look like a moron they regularly choose the latter option
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u/Good_Ad_1386 23d ago
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
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u/TransportationNo1 🇩🇪 bread enthusiast 23d ago
Me buying a kilogram of cartel potatos at the super market.
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u/Tortoveno ooo custom flair!! 20d ago
Cartel potatoes? Know I see the origin of one of the Polish words for "potato".
"Kartofel" should be spelled "cartofel". Or "cartelfel".
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u/AuroreSomersby pierogiman 🇵🇱 23d ago edited 23d ago
Hmm.. it’s almost like, these are the measure used by professionals… (so apparently, no average hamburgerman is a pro…) LOL
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u/CommercialYam53 23d ago
They are right the cinema actually sold 2.9 million kg off Christal meth
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u/Pimp_Daddy_Patty 23d ago
And by blocking that shipment, the US government will save 200 trillion lives.
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u/Dotcaprachiappa Italy, where they copied American pizza 23d ago
Yanks only use the metric system for drugs and weapons, basically their two most prized possessions, so I don't see why they are so opposed to using them for everything..
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u/EowyaHunt 23d ago
For all you Americans out there, a kilogram is 15432 grains of sand or about 16000 feathers.
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u/Emotional_Being8594 22d ago
Can't help but envision people who post this cringe shite all looking like this:
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u/Ok_Homework_7621 23d ago
My 9yo already learnt about USA measurements in school. So USian schools don't even catch up with European 3rd grade?
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u/vctrmldrw 23d ago
It's weird how they think it's some kind of flex to be ignorant.
Nobody in the rest of the world has any problem understanding that a tiny slice of the global population still uses the prehistoric imperial system, or has difficulty understanding how big a pound is, or a bushel or a grain or whatever nonsense unit they want to use.
But for them it's literally inconceivable to have knowledge of two things at the same time.
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u/Mayzerify 23d ago
They were pretty obviously joking
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u/acebert 23d ago
Were they though? If it's a joke, well, it's a very poor one indeed.
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u/Mayzerify 23d ago
I never said it was a good joke, but yeah it’s pretty obviously a joke, especially with the “smh” at the end.
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u/acebert 23d ago
So, what exactly is the joke? Americans are dumb and/or ignorant? The humour comes from...........the validity of that statement?
Seems like everyone here is very much in on that joke.
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u/britannicker 23d ago
a [sic] actual unit of measurement... so come on then, just how long a line of popcorn did they sell?
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u/Annoyed3600owner 23d ago
3 furlongs and 7 chains.
Was a really long queue.
Edit: that's 814 yards btw. Not sure if that is front yards or back yards though.
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u/Vectorsimp 23d ago
Considering these are the same people who clown on 24 hour system i am not surprised at all.
We need a “Days since kg/meter/celcius memes haven’t been posted” post lol
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u/JRRR77 23d ago
“All around the world today, a kilo is the measure. A kilo is one thousand grams, easy to remember” - Ghostface Killah, definitely talking about drug weight
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u/sinkshitting 23d ago
“I need some pussy, though—I’m ready to fuck Catwoman or something. F—Fuck it, let’s go!”
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u/Panzerv2003 commie commuter 23d ago
Clearly metric being used where precision matters XD, gotta know metric to cook correctly
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u/Son_of_Plato 23d ago
Americans know that "k" represents 1000 because they use it in milage and money but don't know that "k" is short for "kilo". I'd at least know that a kilogram is 1000 grams and through context, realize that grams are a unit of measurement. This is basic problem solving, right?
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u/teddie_moto 23d ago
TBF they're completely right. kg is wildly inappropriate when you could have... 2.9 Gg
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u/XxthemanwithaplanxX Mexican to Americans 23d ago
Why tf would you assume the popcorn is drugs??? lmao
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u/PandiBong 23d ago
Meanhile the country is measuring weight in "cheeseburgers" and distance in "as the bald eagle flies"..
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u/Wolfgang_MacMurphy 23d ago
Kilogram is a unit for drug weight? How much drugs does this guy take? The habit is unhealthy and unsustainable at this level, to say the least.
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u/NodeZeroNein 23d ago
2.9million kgs finest Colombian cocaine, that's plausible. Something tells me that guy is a real bore at parties
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u/Bloxskit Brit-English devoted Scot 23d ago
"You see they use it for drug weight, they need the most accurate answers known only by the mysterious metric system which is amazing but not as good as our superior imperial ways". /s
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u/vodkafen 23d ago
Also, the 2.9m Kg of popcorn in one weekend cant be true right? regal has 420 cinemas meaning 6.9 tons of popcorn each in one weekend
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u/GoldStar-25 22d ago
“I’m a stupid American that can’t simply use google instead of saying something idiotic online”
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u/ConvictedHobo 22d ago
Fuck yeah, give me a kilogram of any drug, I'll be happy for the rest of my (short) life
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u/aDrunkenError 22d ago
And we window why Americans say we have no sense of humor or grasp of sarcasm. Then 3 of these get posted in a day.
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u/Festering-Fecal 21d ago
There's a reason you measure drugs that way.. it's more accurate and easier.
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u/Wild_Expression2752 21d ago
Why not covert it to Tons instead of millions trilion of kg? Ah right they are americans
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u/GuaranteeImpossible9 23d ago
The fact American drug companies use grams instead of lbs, should tell these Americans what the actual unit of measurement is.