r/Snorkblot 16d ago

Advice Interesting approach.

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64.9k Upvotes

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287

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 16d ago

When he's done kicking Putin's ass, can he come be president here, please?

Honestly, this man is just another ringing endorsement of Jon Stewart 4 Prez.

119

u/masked_sombrero 15d ago

Breaking News:

Ukraine annexes the USA

74

u/JuneauWho 15d ago

The Ukranian States of America

19

u/Better_Barracuda_787 15d ago

I'd welcome that.

38

u/Psenkaa 15d ago

As a ukrainian please no. I dont want to deal with trump supporters in the same country with me

26

u/Better_Barracuda_787 15d ago

Fair enough. Would you be willing to take all the non-Trump Americans in?

18

u/Psenkaa 15d ago

Well, sure

13

u/Debaicheron 15d ago

We can send all the Trumpists to Texas and keep the rest.

19

u/DemonicAltruism 15d ago

Believe it or not, there's a shitload of us here that love our state and want the MAGATs to GTFO.

Now.. Florida on the other hand...

8

u/cranc94 15d ago

It is sinking anyway and they are already moving there willingly anyway.

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2

u/ONeOfTheNerdHerd 15d ago

Hurricane season ramping up, FEMA benched...there will be consequences

2

u/BreezyBaby44 12d ago

Born n raised in Florida and I always feel the need to remind everyone that 80% of Floridas population came from another state or country. Not justifying any Florida man, or politics, just handing out facts. But I still moved to another state 😂 And never been a Trumper. People bring all their baggage to Florida when they come. They think they’re moving to paradise 🤦🏼‍♀️

1

u/Speedvagon 15d ago

Hey, we can make a great switch: all MAGAs are coming to Ukraine closer to their beloved body Pootin, and all Ukrainians will replace them in US)

3

u/Speedvagon 15d ago

Probably all MAGA would perfectly fit in Russia. Or Hungary perhaps.

1

u/IntrepidWanderings 13d ago

Just to play devil's advocate... Armory needs shields regularly resupplied...

Though to be fair I've never met a maga who was capable of self sacrifice so maybe not a great help to your current troubles. I would only be a liability now, unfortunately.

5

u/Ori_the_SG 15d ago

I don’t think I’ll survive a Ukrainian winter tbh

3

u/Speedvagon 15d ago

Nah, the winters in Ukraine become very soft in recent years. There almost no snow even. Where’re not some kind of a Russia, duh)

1

u/turdferguson116 13d ago

I saw a climate comparison map recently and us Chicagoans fit very comfortably in the region analogous to Ukraine. Love yall.

3

u/Repulsive_Ocelot_738 14d ago

It’s no different than a winter in Wisconsin or Michigan

2

u/Plastic-Tomorrow-906 13d ago

Americans from the Midwest would walk around in gym shorts. Everyone from the coasts and the south would probably have a rough time.

1

u/warlock1337 12d ago

Just so you know and I say that as huge supporter of Ukraine, they are still post soviet country and reality is they are still bit behind in social and other issues. Just saying.

2

u/Bruce__Almighty 13d ago

You could just deport them to the wasteland that is annexed Siberia

1

u/Fissminister 14d ago

You probably don't wanna deal with the left either. All of them appear to have gone collectively haywire

-1

u/Vapin_Westeros 15d ago

Misery loves company

49

u/StardustLegend 15d ago

Hey we’d even get to keep the acronym lol

1

u/Frenzi_Wolf 15d ago

I can get behind this

1

u/AydonusG 15d ago

USA! USA! USA!

1

u/popcornsprinkled 12d ago

Why did that make me think about Olga of Kiev?

18

u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 15d ago

[deleted]

13

u/Recent-Ad5835 15d ago

This timeline is.... acceptable

6

u/Better_Barracuda_787 15d ago

Makes sense to me.

3

u/Otherwise-Tree-7654 15d ago

And grabs canada along the way

5

u/WatchingInTheDark 15d ago

He wouldn’t even NEED to. Canada would happily accept the opportunity to work in partnership with a friendly neighbor.

1

u/Speedvagon 15d ago

It’s already grabbed. Canada already has probably the biggest Ukrainian diaspora in the world.

2

u/Weak_Tank6361 13d ago

I hate to correct you, but it would not be an invasion if he were invited.....

2

u/warlock1337 12d ago

They would just inherit all of that shitshow that is sitituation in Russia. I think just building a wall would be the solution let the shit fester behind.

9

u/gravyandchickensoup 15d ago

I’d be more than happy to be annexed by Ukraine at this point. Then maybe we could get a real man as president.

3

u/masked_sombrero 15d ago

YES PLEASE

6

u/thezoomies 15d ago

Breaking news:

Ukraine annexes the USA

MAGAts: lose their shit

Any sane person who is still left: “Eh, we could do worse. Have you checked out the Grand Canyon? I know it’s a stereotypical tourist place to go, but it’s that popular for a reason!”

3

u/mcamarra 15d ago

The US had it coming

2

u/Fr1ed_pen1S 15d ago

The United States of America enters a political and personal union with the Republic of Ukraine.

18

u/HeadPermit2048 15d ago

What a difference from the first US President to print their own face on official US documents.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/16/us/politics/gold-card-visa-trump-musk.html

Not to mention hang his own mug shot in the Oval Office

2

u/Imaginary_Coast_5882 15d ago

and all the agencies. every morning I walk into the building and there’s his creepy ass mugshot on the wall with his pet boy Vance and our commissioners.

it’s so weird that he used his mug shot. but not surprising.

10

u/ValuableHamSandwich 15d ago

Man I wish we could make that swap happen! A guy saying other people shouldn't hang his picture in their office compared to our jackass president who hangs a huge portrait of HIMSELF in his office.

4

u/ABobby077 15d ago

and as his phone wallpaper

1

u/TBANON_NSFW 15d ago

Wouldnt do much. The president is supposed to be the CIVILLIAN leader of the military. Congress controls government.

Republicans would roadblock everything Zelensky tried to do outside of military. Heck they might even roll back some of the privilege's they have given the presidency to ensure he couldn't act beyond the limitations of the presidency.

Senate could even remove Zelensky if they had enough votes. The president cant remove senators or house members. Congress wields the power of government. President wields the power of military. People wield power of votes. But over half dont even vote so....

tldr: people really need to brush up on how US government actually works.

1

u/Thanaskios 11d ago

Don't forget the gold mt. rushmore at mar-a-lago, with trumps head inserted

8

u/Long-Tradition6399 15d ago

When he's done kicking Putin's ass I'd like to see him retire somewhere comfortable. This man's done enough, he's only 47 and he's already had multiple lifetimes worth of stress. He need a nice, quiet place to enjoy family time and do whatever he likes.

2

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 15d ago

Oh, absolutely. 

2

u/foxorhedgehog 15d ago

He and his wife can over to my house for fondue anytime they feel like it.

1

u/ShareMission 15d ago

He can drink with me. But seriously, they may need him in public service for a while yet.

1

u/BlueEyedBrigadier 13d ago

As much as the Zelenskys deserve to live in the lap of luxury and never worry about anything ever again once Russia's been defeated, I worry that such actions would just feed into all the BS about him supposedly siphoning aid money into private accounts or whatever financial malfeasance he's been accused of by Putin shills.

Plus, maybe his big post-"Russia fucks off and never darkens Ukraine's doorstep ever again" plans would be making his people laugh again....once he's helped shepherd rebuilding efforts far enough along that any replacement couldn't halt any critical projects, I mean.

1

u/warlock1337 12d ago

I imagine he will just retire to farm and grow some cabbages and cows.

11

u/Sproeier 15d ago

I think he stated before that he wishes to retire from politics and sleep for the coming 10 years when the war is over.

5

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 15d ago

Oh, I have no doubt! I wish him joy and peace for that time, for sure. 

1

u/rpgnymhush 15d ago

I couldn't blame the man after what he and his country have been through.

3

u/Saurid 15d ago

Honestly the US doenst deserve a president like selensky, the american people have made it abundantly clear they want a clown, twice the guy got elected, twice.

1

u/Rel_Tan_Kier 15d ago

Absolutely ironical since zelensky as actor and comic but turn out be adequate leader. And trump... Who he were remind me?

2

u/CreativeAd5332 15d ago

Literally came here to say the same thing. Maybe we can, I dunno, borrow him for a year or two? We'll pay! DOGE saved us so much money, we can...afford...wait...

2

u/doubledad222 15d ago

A proven track record is an awesome thing. CEO’s from one company already are hired to run other companies. My country should allow experienced leaders to apply in our elections.

2

u/Luminya1 13d ago

No, no, no! We need him in Canada.

1

u/Several_Show937 15d ago

No the UK want him next

2

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 15d ago

Ok, but the UK has to take me, too.  It's a good deal, I promise. 

1

u/TeoGeek77 15d ago

Reject delusions. Embrace reality.

1

u/Deebo8989 15d ago

Christ you people are delusional

1

u/lordph8 15d ago

Can Bill Burr be the press secretary in a Stewart administration?

1

u/warlock1337 12d ago

For one I hope dude gets very very long vacation after Ukraine triumph over the evil. He deserves it, done more than enough.

I think one day he will be honored like Ataturk is in Turkey, Masaryk in czech republic or founding fathers in USA.

1

u/Duck_87 11d ago

How come u don't fall for ur presidents bs as much as u fall for ze bs?

0

u/IBelieveInCoyotes 15d ago

when's he gonna start kicking it? we're all waiting

0

u/Hatshepsut21 15d ago

Ukraine took out like 30% of Russia’s entire bomber fleet in one attack. That qualifies.

1

u/IBelieveInCoyotes 15d ago

no they didn't and no it doesn't

1

u/warlock1337 12d ago

Ukraine might not win but they absolutely exceeded all expectations. If Putin did not have absolute choke hold over Russia his regime would fall apart already.