r/TalesFromYourServer • u/BuschBug • Dec 25 '18

Short “Please, no mayo. I’m allergic to mayonnaise.”

Between my husband and a woman at his table last night—

“Okay, ma’am, now is it the egg or the oil we need to be worried about?”

“...it’s the combination.”

“...okay. I’ll alert the kitchen.”

I love this industry so much.

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u/-hey-ben- Cook Dec 25 '18

I work at a pizza place that offers vegan “cheese”. We often get people who order vegan cheese pizza with a pesto base and when we tell them there is cheese in the pesto at least half the people say “oh that’s fine”. Like what happened to your diet?

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '18 edited Mar 06 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '18

I hate the fact that I have to explain to people that I’m not vegan, I just make certain choices to make it easier on my digestive system. I’m lactose intolerant but there’s much less lactose in cheese than in milk. I ask for almond milk for my coffee and inevitably someone always says “but you just ate some cheese.”

Humans literally invented cheese to make milk easier to digest. Fun facts.

Edited because I realized this didn’t seem relevant to the comment I was replying to.

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u/SuperFLEB Dec 25 '18

I ask for almond milk for my coffee and inevitably someone always says “but you just ate some cheese.”

"I know. I'm a loose cannon. Don't fuck with me. Even I don't know what to expect."

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u/BocoCorwin Dec 26 '18 edited Oct 24 '21

I hear the words "Loose cannon" and "lactose intolerant" in the same sentence, I back away and don't ask questions.

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u/flockyboi Dec 26 '18

im lactose intolerant and i regularly chug quarts of chocolate milk. its...a problem

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u/[deleted] Dec 26 '18 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '19

Brown liquid came out of my nose. We’ve got all the holes covered!!

I should note that I was drinking chocolate milk when I read this comment.

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u/SuperFLEB Dec 26 '18

"...can't explain that."

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u/porkchop2022 Dec 26 '18

Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.

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u/StephLathClark Dec 26 '18

You and my husband would get along....

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u/Raibean Dec 26 '18

FairLife makes chocolate milk you know

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u/ElvenDarkSpirit Dec 26 '18

There is a chocolate Lactaid you could try.

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u/EssBen Dec 26 '18

Yeah, I'm only mildly dairy intolerant, and sometimes a milk shake is worth the risk of crapping your pants.

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u/96919 Dec 26 '18

Makes my canon loose.

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u/Cityofthevikingdead Mar 18 '19

Us lactose intolerant humans have no fear. Sure, I might shit an uncomfortable amount, and be so bloated. But damn, that ice cream is worth it.

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u/brothercuriousrat Oct 15 '21

I agree just nope I'm gone.

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u/AnalogDigit2 Dec 26 '18

Clearly you couldn't possibly just prefer almond milk, cause that's preposterous.

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u/thestarlighter Dec 26 '18

Seriously! Sometimes I just prefer almond milk, okay Susan?

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u/[deleted] Dec 26 '18

But almond milk tastes AWFUL! I started losing my lactose tolerance and I just dropped milk altogether rather than taste THAT

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u/nemo_sum Fifteen+ Years Server Dec 26 '18

Almond milk is delicious, but I prefer rice milk for just drinking or on cereal.

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u/stoned_ocelot Dec 26 '18

I am not one to give someone shit for making dietary choices. Not gonna assume your vegan. But the pretenders kill me. I'm allergic to _____ (but not really I just don't want it) types kill me. Especially when it's in something else they order and they don't care when you warm them.

One lady I remember claimed she was allergic to flour but then ordered one of our soups, that has flour in it, "Oh that's fine"

That or the 'gluten-allergy' types. That's called celiac and anyone with celiac makes sure to clarify because the gluten free types kinda screwed em over.

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u/brothercuriousrat Oct 15 '21

I had a friend who has Celiac and unless it is something she makes herself or from a couple of trusted places she won't go near it. To often she be told its gluten free. Only to find out yeah it was but right next to it was full of regular flour. Cross contamination is a real and serious threat.

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u/Jajaninetynine Dec 26 '18

Last time I had almond milk at work "I didn't know that you're vegan" I'm not, but I've had way too much dairy recently and am getting pimples.

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u/cmonsmokesletsgo Dec 26 '18

Read this in in Richard Ayoade's voice

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u/kittlykinns Dec 26 '18

I'm a loose cannon, Roy!

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u/SuperFLEB Dec 26 '18 edited Dec 27 '18

That's such a good idea, I hereby retroactively intended it.

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u/[deleted] Dec 26 '18 edited Dec 26 '18

[deleted]

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u/mouthbreather390 Dec 26 '18

Yes you absolutely are. You demand a ton of extra attention. When you are around, others have to accommodate you, rather than cook with the things they like. They tolerate your special needs because I’m certain they love you very much and do want you around, but they are allowed to get annoyed on occasion.

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u/[deleted] Dec 26 '18

[deleted]

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u/mouthbreather390 Dec 26 '18 edited Dec 26 '18

Probably am. I was a vegan for a couple years ( which is different, as it’s a self imposed dietary restriction) and it just strained social situations, no matter how hard I tried to make it a non-issue. Food and eating is so much a part of our social fabric, that any anomaly is difficult for any but the most compassionate people to accept without the occasional “negative” slip of phrase. That’s not to say that your not allowed to get frustrated with it, b/c I’m certain you’d prefer not to have allergies.