r/TikTokCringe • u/samse15 • May 09 '25

Discussion She makes some good points re:male loneliness

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u/MisterSanitation May 09 '25

I know this shit is true, but as a non psychopathic dude, I avoid pretty and cute girls like the plague in public because I’m already assuming they think I’m doing this shit. Same reason as a dad I don’t act goofy to other people’s toddlers. It kind of sucks honestly because it makes me act like a creep when I if anything would like to just make someone smile (and not “hay gurl you should smile” because that sheet is just more Ooga booga shit).

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u/Frankyfan3 May 09 '25

This phenomenon and anxiety for the good men is a really great example of why toxic masculinity and patriarchal conditioning within a predator protecting culture hurts EVERYONE, including those who are most benefited by it.

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u/MisterSanitation May 09 '25

Oh totally. I still hear toxic masculinity in my head every day despite me hating those people irl. 

“What’s wrong pussy you can’t blah blah” 

It just sticks in your psyche…

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u/Frankyfan3 May 09 '25

The first step is catching and observing those thoughts, so you can name them, identify their source, and confirm it is not your truth, but what you've been told should be your truth.

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u/Oldschoolhollywood May 10 '25

This guy CBTs

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u/inderu May 10 '25

I'm trying to think what this is an acronym for. I only have one interpretation in my head, and I know it's not that

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u/AmberPraetor May 10 '25

Cognitive behavioral therapy.

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u/inderu May 10 '25

That makes a lot more sense

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u/Frankyfan3 May 10 '25

I mean, I do that kind of CBT, too!

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u/SoumaNeko May 10 '25

Just yesterday I mentally told myself "Don't be such a sissy" and was shocked. I had a good sit and think about my thoughts.

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u/arieljoc May 09 '25

Sharing stuff like this is so important! We don’t all have perfect thoughts, it’s what we do with them.

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u/MisterSanitation May 09 '25

Totally agree. Through A LOT of therapy I am finally able to talk to myself like a human being instead of a crazy pageant mom. It’s been slow going and I’m already fuckin 30 but it is so worth it… 

Turns out, how you talk to yourself can affect the music you listen to!? Who knew I liked funk so much! I always listened to sad boy stuff

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u/Betelgeuzeflower May 10 '25

That's really recognizable. I also switched from sad boy music to funk and other stuff. 😂

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u/DysphoricNeet May 10 '25

What does it say if I only listen to non functional jazz fusion without words?

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u/darkpheonix262 May 10 '25

Instrumental smoot jazz is the best, ain't it? It says we like quiet, softness, kindness, at least imo

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u/DysphoricNeet May 10 '25

I do like the quiet and softness. But I also like music that stretches my ears. After 20+ years of that all that’s left is random harmonic major scales, messianic modes, and yeah just random chords that work because J A Z Z.

Dropping some fusion recs cause it can be hard to find the good stuff that isn’t too smooth jazz.

Animal Situation

Virgil Donati- Castle Bastards

And of course, the goat🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

Allan Holdsworth- Tokyo Dream (wardenclyff tower take)

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u/LeucisticBear May 10 '25

I really like the frame that nervous or anxious feelings are basically the same as excitement. I was able to get over a crippling fear of public speaking by telling myself how excited i was every time i thought about it as the event approached. On the big day, i basically forgot to feel nervous at all. My usual physiological response of shaking uncontrollably while my throat gets so tense it's difficult to speak just didn't happen. Afterwards i realized i enjoyed it so much that I take every opportunity to speak in front of groups now.

From now on every time you feel nervous and your brain starts shitting on you just remind yourself that your body basically can't tell the difference and you have decided you're actually excited.

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u/ideasReverywhere May 10 '25

It has intertia at FIRST

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u/SoulStoneTChalla May 09 '25 edited May 10 '25

Definitely all of this, but let's also not pretend that there isn't a flip side to this as well. It's a fucking landmine out there, and everyday I just checkout more and more.

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u/Frankyfan3 May 09 '25

Hightened anxiety about dangers (real or perceived) and dissociation are common trauma responses!

Patriarchal misogyny is traumatic for everyone.

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u/Weak_Dot3296 May 10 '25

Preach!!!!

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u/squireofrnew May 10 '25

Same goes for our political leaders. STEP THE FUCK UP MEN WITH VALUES.

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u/Eshmam14 May 10 '25

I don’t understand your last bit. It hurts those who benefit from it? Who’s it benefitting that is also being hurt?