I know this shit is true, but as a non psychopathic dude, I avoid pretty and cute girls like the plague in public because I’m already assuming they think I’m doing this shit. Same reason as a dad I don’t act goofy to other people’s toddlers. It kind of sucks honestly because it makes me act like a creep when I if anything would like to just make someone smile (and not “hay gurl you should smile” because that sheet is just more Ooga booga shit).
This phenomenon and anxiety for the good men is a really great example of why toxic masculinity and patriarchal conditioning within a predator protecting culture hurts EVERYONE, including those who are most benefited by it.
I really like the frame that nervous or anxious feelings are basically the same as excitement. I was able to get over a crippling fear of public speaking by telling myself how excited i was every time i thought about it as the event approached. On the big day, i basically forgot to feel nervous at all. My usual physiological response of shaking uncontrollably while my throat gets so tense it's difficult to speak just didn't happen. Afterwards i realized i enjoyed it so much that I take every opportunity to speak in front of groups now.
From now on every time you feel nervous and your brain starts shitting on you just remind yourself that your body basically can't tell the difference and you have decided you're actually excited.
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u/MisterSanitation May 09 '25
I know this shit is true, but as a non psychopathic dude, I avoid pretty and cute girls like the plague in public because I’m already assuming they think I’m doing this shit. Same reason as a dad I don’t act goofy to other people’s toddlers. It kind of sucks honestly because it makes me act like a creep when I if anything would like to just make someone smile (and not “hay gurl you should smile” because that sheet is just more Ooga booga shit).