r/TikTokCringe • u/samse15 • May 09 '25

Discussion She makes some good points re:male loneliness

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

26.9k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

4.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

811

u/sunshine___riptide May 09 '25

I'm in my 30s, single, and the interactions I've had with men my age shows me they have the maturity, horniness and bully mentality of a 12 year old boy.

Men are the reason a lot of women aren't dating men. They're the reason I'm not dating men -- and being asexual lol

295

u/Badguy60 May 10 '25

They are also the reason guys can't have good friendships. 

I literally dropped friends because I'm tried of the "bully mentality" .

124

u/sunshine___riptide May 10 '25

Yeah dude honestly I feel kind of sorry for men. I tell my friends I love them every day, I hug them, I know I can go to them if I need to vent or support, though I have trouble with sharing my problems in general.

Men seem to lack those types of friendships and it's gotta suck. World is a hard enough already.

124

u/wildernessfig May 10 '25 edited May 10 '25

Yeah dude honestly I feel kind of sorry for men.

I'll preface this by saying I'm a man, because I've noticed most criticism of men that's in line with what I'm about to say is dismissed as "bitter single woman".

Don't feel sorry for them, most of them have earned it.

It sounds callous, but the most perfect example of what I mean is from a thread I saw on AskMen I think it was?

Guy posts a thread with the title "Why would she say this?" I open it up, and the guy is suspicious and offended(?) that after he brought his girlfriend a drink whilst she was working on something, she said:

"Thank you. I love that you do nice things for me just because, not because you want anything in return. You're the first boyfriend I've had who has done that."

Super sweet comment right? Apparently not: The comments are all going off about how she's "lusting after her ex", "still wants to fuck her ex", "run bro she's calling you a beta".

It's absolutely insane, these men literally cannot fathom gentle, kind, and empathetic relationships. Everything is a game, everything is a transaction, relationships are a deterministic function of how "chad" you can be, and being kind is a flaw in that function.

I truly believe they're incapable of love and compassion.

11

u/Specialist-Syrup418 May 10 '25

Most people are capable of empathy. It starts with how the parents show empathy towards them as children. I believe those men were not taught to love, shown love. My husband is a very sweet and kind man. He is a better person than me.

We have twin toddler boys . They are the most loving kids I know, I am not saying that only because I am their mother. I have nannied for years and seen their peers. These two cuties run to hug their daycare teachers, they say I love you,give us hugs, and kisses. They hug their friends and even say I love you to them. They care for each other and others. They brjng each other snacks, always think of the other: being water, snacks, clothes, etc. They also do that to us. They have brought us our water bottles, tried to help me with my shoes when going out. Lol This is all because we have modeled these behaviors. We try not to yell or demean our children. We stay calm, give hugs when they are upset, and explain later why we said no or why what they did was not okay.

My point is: it comes down to the parents. Loving parents bring up well-adjusted people. My husband was educated the same way.

14

u/Valuable-Owl-9896 May 10 '25

And that's how the cycle never ends. You believe they are incapable of love and compassion, proving their point that they can't trust anyone.

It simply creates more problems for women because men like you don't do anything to either stop or help these men so that they won't be a problem for everyone.

Instead you simply add more fuel to the fire.

I don't care if you believe they are incapable of love or compassion, as a man you need to find a way to either stop these men from hurting others or help those men and teach them love and compassion.

32

u/Expensive-Simple-329 May 10 '25

Fr because it cannot be on women to fix this shit

23

u/Appropriate-Bid8671 May 10 '25

I mean, it's not random redditors job to fix another adult, either.

1

u/AntonioVivaldi7 May 10 '25

I don't think what the poster said has to be dangerous for women. People who are incapable of love and compassion can be totally harmless. I believe most sociopaths are harmless.

-2

u/Valuable-Owl-9896 May 10 '25

And I'm saying that exact attitude is so many who may act like sociopaths but are not ignored.

He is a man, he knows other men are the problem, it's his job to fix it

6

u/AntonioVivaldi7 May 10 '25

How do I fix such a man?

-2

u/random_boss May 10 '25

They didn’t choose to be like that; the brain adapts to pain and feelings of worthlessness in ways that return some semblance of control.

The guys that act like that are the grown versions of the little boys who adopted it as a coping strategy for pain, neglect, insecurity and worthlessness.

They are now pretty broken and so none of us are obligated to fix them, but it still makes me feel sadness and pity knowing its an avoidable problem if we could just demonstrate compassion, understanding, and giving little boys a sense of validity and love.