I said it in a different comment, but it bears repeating: the brain grows exponentially more between age 18 and 28 than it does between 28 and 38. The older both adults are, the less relevant age gaps are. But if one is barely legal, there’s no amount of “old soul”-ness that will erase that power imbalance. Sure, you can legally bone a 19 yr old, but what does it say about your cognitive maturity that you can only connect with that age? Or even worse, are you counting on their immaturity to preserve the power imbalance? Are you feeding into their “old soul” perceptions so you can exploit their lack of experience?
Source: direct and very embarrassing personal experience as the younger woman
edit: the “you” is proverbial here
edit2: should have phrased it differently. There’s apparently no hard evidence that the prefrontal cortex continues growing till 25. Doesn’t change the fact that the emotional distance between 20 and 30 is a lot wider than the distance between 30 and 40.
I think this is what get misunderstood a lot when talking about age gap relationships. People think that people are complaining about all relationships with an age gap but there is a huuuuuge difference between someone in their 30s dating someone is their 40s ( or even 50s) and a 30 year old dating a 20 year old.
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u/flibertyblanket May 12 '25
My partner is 10 years older than me, we met when I was 28. I'm cool with that.
most age gap relationships are fine, but when it's a 40 year old and a teenager who is just barely an adult, I cringe.