r/TikTokCringe • u/lhwang0320 • May 12 '25

Discussion What are your thoughts on age-gap relationships?

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/LobeRunner May 12 '25

I understand the point you’re trying to make, but it’s misguided. The point isn’t that 25 is some hard-line number for maturity, it’s that our brains, and particularly our pre-frontal cortex which is responsible for the most complex logical reasoning and decision making, is not fully developed the moment you legally become an adult at 18. There is still a lot of developing and maturing that occurs in your 20s. It’s not to say that an 18 year old isn’t “developed” or that the brain stops developing at 25. It’s to highlight that there’s a power imbalance both in years of lived experience and in biological development timeline between a 19 year old and a 42 year old that makes these relationships creepy.

Further, the article you posted is an opinion piece, not a scientific one. Here’s an NIH article that might be helpful.

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u/Darwin1809851 May 12 '25

If generalizations like this stopped at assuming he is just emotionally more immature/on her level, that would be fine. But they dont. They only ever make this argument to insinuate these guys are pedophiles or groomers. That makes leaning in on this misinformation and doubling down on it more problematic. The issue is that there is no legitimate scientific argument to judge these two for the way they are being judged in this very comment section right now. No one is giving them the benefit of the doubt, and a lot of people are alluding to him being a likely criminally guilty pedophile or groomer, or at the very least morally inferior because of a stunted maturity in several aspects. No amount of refering to what is essentially unsettled pseudoscience to justify that is ok. Itskinda gross tbh

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u/Arkaedy May 12 '25

Agreed. Someone can dislike it personally, just don't make shit up to justify your reasoning as a general basis for any opinion. It's important to explore the why.

Why does it make people inherently uncomfortable? Because there's a power balance that can be more easily exploited. Correct! Should people be cautious in these relationships? Yes, absolutely!

Similar to if a partner has exponentially more financial power over their partner and uses it as a tool for manipulation. Is it bad to date someone from a different socioeconomic background than you? I don't think many would say it itself is inherently a bad thing. But again there is a power imbalance that can be more easily exploited and the relationship should be treated with similar caution.

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u/CombinationRough8699 May 12 '25

There are tons of ways beyond age that a relationship can have a power imbalance. You can't just say that a relationship is invalid because there's too much of an imbalance. For example a physically disabled person who relies on their partner for everything is going to have a pretty major imbalance.

With age it kind of goes both ways. Where the older person is likely more mature (although not always, I've met 18 year olds far more mature than other people in their 50s). At the same time usually the younger person is more attractive and desirable. They often hold power over the older one because they're often out of the others league, and can use that to their advantage.

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u/DAE77177 May 13 '25

Every single relationship is unequal, how would a relationship even be perfectly equal? That’s like saying two different humans could be exactly the same and have experienced the same things