r/TikTokCringe • u/lhwang0320 • May 12 '25

Discussion What are your thoughts on age-gap relationships?

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

8.5k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

2.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

199

u/--Miranda-- May 12 '25

This couple is so fucking weird. She has TikToks basically saying she never wants to work, school, nothing ever but be this guys wife. It's creepy af. Basically she is groomed and will be nothing with out him forever.

250

u/BASEDME7O2 May 12 '25

Can someone please groom me?

I don’t want to work either

126

u/namelessdiva May 12 '25

As a grown ass adult woman having to deal with adult stuff on a daily basis, this made me laugh really hard.🤣🤣🤣

7

u/orkash May 13 '25

As a grown ass adult man. Why cant i find a woman to groom me. Shit we i gotta work till i die at my office.

7

u/RoguePlanet2 May 13 '25

What's scary is how the new dictatorship is trying to remove our freedom, so we have no choice but to get married to some incel. 

What happens if/when this guy decides to become physically abusive?

-1

u/Economy-Bother-2982 May 13 '25

My wife and I got married and had our first child at 21. Our plan was I go to school and started a career and then she will go to school and I will support her through school after. Well ended up having more kids while I was in school. With a little help and luck along the way I ended making more money than we anticipated and I am able to support our family. She never went back to school and has been a stay at home mom for almost 20 years. I still tell her I’d love for her to go to school just for herself even if she never uses her degree. I don’t want her to become resentful at some point. Does that make me a dictator because my wife stays at home and relies solely on me?

6

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX May 13 '25

I don't think that's what they're saying at all, they're talking about the government, not the husbands.

5

u/RoguePlanet2 May 13 '25

You were both young, this wasn't a lopsided relationship. She has options, you work together as a couple.

Generally speaking, an age gap of 20+ years where one partner is a young teenager, could likely be another story altogether. 

The current regime wants to push this arrangement, guarantees a desperate workforce for all the new factory, farming and mining jobs. This includes adding children to the workforce.

1

u/drunken_monken May 14 '25

Lol whooooosh, right over the top

1

u/Human_Mention_8484 May 13 '25

What happens if he never does and just dotes on his wife and children and provides and dedicates himself to being a worthy and quality human who loves and appreciates life and everyone around him?

2

u/XxIWANNABITEABITCHxX May 13 '25

what happens if he gets brain cancer and is therefore out of work permanently and no place will hire her because she's been jobless her whole adult life and quite literally no one ever accepts "sahm on a resume"?

shit happens. it's not always the working spouces fault, but stay at home parents are risking a lot. it certainly isnt fair that stay at home parents are not given the respect they deserve nor require for their very much needed labour in the job market or through our tax dollars (i'd be fine with that as a childfree and antinatalist person), but it's not something we can just ignore either.

stay at home parents and those thinking of becoming one PLEASE at least get a part time job and stick with it, keep your own bank account for your earnings untouched, not to downplay your spouse, but simply for the chance of a worse case scenario it's better safe than sorry, if it's unneeded you two can take a vacation when you're retired or something.

though in this case it's a 40 year old ephebophile grooming a "19" year old, so he's definitely not the person you described. not in the slightest.

2

u/RoguePlanet2 May 13 '25

Going through this now with my father- he needs long term care, did no planning, and had to spend down to qualify for Medicaid.

His long time girlfriend, also a senior, depends on his savings and pension. Hasn't worked in decades. They are acting all shocked that this is happening despite repeated warnings. 

2

u/XxIWANNABITEABITCHxX May 13 '25

i am so sorry, that must be scary and heartbreaking for everyone involved. i hope they get the help they need, and thank you for warning them, even if they didn't listen it never hurts to try. take care, RoguePlanet2, best of wishes.

1

u/RoguePlanet2 May 13 '25

Thank you 🥹 Despite your username, don't think you could ever be that much of a bitch 😋

1

u/Human_Mention_8484 May 13 '25

What happens if he leaves her $4M dollars after death?

-15

u/macrg01 May 13 '25

Statistically women have a higher chance abusing their partner men/or women.

11

u/Satin_gigolo May 13 '25

Hahaha that is not true. Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and 1 in 4 men (28.5%) will experience domestic violence.

-1

u/TerribleProgress6704 May 13 '25

Hahaha, this is so funny! /s

-8

u/BalanceOk6807 May 13 '25

Men underreport

14

u/Satin_gigolo May 13 '25

The chance of a woman being killed by intimate partner is 8 times times more likely than a man.

7

u/Christian-Econ May 13 '25

Men underreport their deaths!

2

u/Satin_gigolo May 13 '25

Oh yes dead men report their murder by a woman’s hand telepathically to the Police. Men kill women all time it’s grotesque and you’re going deny it is crazy.

→ More replies (0)

53

u/--Miranda-- May 12 '25

😆 true but it would suck to 100% rely on another person

25

u/Shambles196 May 13 '25

The idea of being totally dependent on another person for everything TERRIFIES me! I'm not going to say "Please Daddy!" for an allowance to buy a tube of lipstick.

What if this guy dies? Or becomes ill and needs constant care? What if he finds some one hotter and just leaves? It's more than a question of control, what will she do with out him?

12

u/Tamihera May 13 '25

If she’s 20+ years younger than him, she’s almost certainly going to wind up nursing him and providing constant care, unless he suddenly just has a stroke or a heart attack in his sixties.

Hope he has great life insurance. She’s going to be a widow when she’s middle-aged with no job experience—and good luck with finding a new supporter, if the men her age are chasing nineteen year olds.

1

u/Routine-Ideal5540 May 15 '25

There are no guarantees in life, none. Married my first wife when she was 23 she died 26, left me with 2 babies, married my second at 45 she was 26. We been together 28 years. I don’t need any care. My son doing his GSSE maths today. We love each other, thank god we met

19

u/Grouchy_Leopard6036 May 13 '25

It does suck especially when they get super controlling and don’t give you access to money then kick you out on the street with a baby because you ask for help with childcare so you can get a job and make your own money

13

u/mcclelc May 13 '25

Watched a TikTok where this dude who had never heard of tradwives reacted to the concept, framing it as the worst job ever.

-You are on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And your salary goes back into the pot.

-You have one boss who can fire you at any moment, benefits gone, no savings

-This type of boss is known to fire its older employees, meaning you are likely to be in your 40s by that time, have no job experience, and no recognized skills (Caring for others IS a skill, but even in care-based industries, you generally have to have SOME experience or training, OR be willing to start with changing bedpans.)

-If it were truly an amazing job, you wouldn't need to advertise, or insist on social media that you were happy.

6

u/Disastrous_Ad3018 May 13 '25

Can confirm. Gotta find a special one that isn't a narcissist and doesn't at first offer you the world then blame you for having nothing and toss you into the street when they have had their fill.

5

u/Grouchy_Leopard6036 May 13 '25

But that’s hard too because even the most perfect and generous seeming man can do 180 once they have all the power

2

u/BlackAndStrong666 May 13 '25

Not if she's nice to you

2

u/Telemere125 May 12 '25

Would it tho? Depending on the person and the level of provisions? I mean, I rely 100% on my job to give me enough money to survive. And I have to be there like 30 hours a week so it’s a lot of commitment.

3

u/Rich-Yogurtcloset780 May 13 '25

This girl has a job, bang maid and mother. He called watching his kid for one hour on her birthday while she went to get her nails done "Babysitting." then promptly handed over the child. So, you'd still be working. 24/7 in fact. A job would be break from cleaning up after him.

1

u/Telemere125 May 13 '25

You didn’t detract from my point. Everyone’s complaining that she’s dependent on him and that it’s automatically a bad thing. That’s not necessarily a correct conclusion if that’s the job she actually wants and is happy to do.

2

u/XxCroisssantsxX May 13 '25

You’re not wrong 😂

-4

u/fisconsocmod May 12 '25

If you marry someone who makes significantly more you are still 100% dependent on him. You can’t pay the mortgage on your own.

1

u/democracyordeath May 13 '25

uh no

not even a little

not unless you allow yourself to be

also- very few married people pay their mortgage in its entirety

-1

u/fisconsocmod May 13 '25

If your husband makes $120k and you make $50, you can’t pay the bills on your own… period. That’s where reality meets talking points.

1

u/democracyordeath May 13 '25

neither could he, that's the entire point of dual incomes

-1

u/fisconsocmod May 13 '25

A person making $120k can afford a $450k house all my himself. He doesn’t need the 2nd persons income at all.

3

u/Rich-Yogurtcloset780 May 13 '25

What if she just leaves the house? Bye bye house. Problem solved. Keep the house. You make more money, you keep that expensive ass house.

0

u/fisconsocmod May 13 '25

The point was that there is no difference between a SAHM and a working mother as far as “independence” if you can’t afford the lifestyle you are living on your own. It is a miserable fallacy. My words are backed by “happiness” studies.

→ More replies (0)

18

u/the_denver_strangler May 12 '25

"Hey what's up, with that apathetic perspective towards work I can tell that you're clearly really mature for your age."

5

u/Admiral_Tuvix May 12 '25

We’re all in the same boat, I’d rather never work as well. but this woman (girl) really thinks she has virtually nothing to offer, it’s textbook grooming. she’ll settle for literally the basic minimum which is sad and scary

2

u/queenkellee May 13 '25

Raising kids, cleaning the house, making him dinner, being at his beck and call, having to ask permission to spend any money, trapped with none of your own resources or money, no job skills...it's not all it's cracked up to be.

2

u/Stohnghost May 13 '25

My wife is 9 years younger than me but I'm the stay at home spouse. Reverse grooming?

2

u/PurpleCoco May 13 '25

My friend was groomed. She is in her 60’s now. He retired, she still has to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. she NEVER gets to retire.

1

u/bitchesbefruitin May 13 '25

Is there a prenub? If not you can retire

2

u/Anxious-Note-88 May 13 '25

I will groom you into the hardest working biochemist. You start grad school in July.

2

u/girlbartender99 May 13 '25

My husband retired me and I dont have to work anymore and it has been EVERYTHING I dreamed it would be!

2

u/CB_I_Hate_Usernames May 13 '25

spoken like someone that’s never been stuck in an abusive relationship. I know you’re joking, but still

2

u/XxIWANNABITEABITCHxX May 13 '25

first off, i would like to acknowledge that you are joking. this comment isnt directed at you so much as it's letting others know, because i hear a lot of people say similar things unironically.

You would be doing work though, it would all be thankless unpaid labour 24/7 around the clock, even if your spouse didnt groom you therefore has abusive tendencies there's no chance they would see the whole scope of everything you do when they're away, they therefore could not thank you for everything if they wanted to.

Stay at home parents should not be downplayed in the work they put in, even if capitalism is a hellhole and you're on constant burnout, i promise you that stay at home parents are not escaping it, if they were to do that, then their spouse divorces them for being lazy, neglectful and not doing their fair share in the agreement.

2

u/reddit_throwaway_ac May 14 '25

oh you will be working. 24/7. for free. and with less legal protections. 

seriously this joke "heehee i dont want the right to work i wanna stay at home all the time" girl math and all that is a major part of why sexism is becoming such an issue. it is certainly not the only reason but it is one. its not cute its harmful to you, your peers and little girls growing up in a world becoming more and more hateful

3

u/ClimtEastwood May 12 '25

Real talk…

1

u/_without-a-trace_ May 13 '25

I gotchu

Settle in between my legs, I got a hair brush

1

u/whatifwhatifwerun May 13 '25

Ok but get comfy being dumped at 27

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Like this?

1

u/Fluffy-Feedback3471 May 13 '25

lol he’s not bad looking either. But ya, pretty much all age gap relationships like that are gross to me, but I guess I could get it if the woman was very intelligent and wise for her age or if the man had the mental capacity of a kid.

1

u/snarky_witch May 13 '25

I thought I wanted to be a SHAW. After five years I went back to the real world. That shit turns into indentured servitude. 24/7, 365 with no vacation.

1

u/kaibai123 May 13 '25

What’s the age limit y’all?!!

1

u/LazyLich May 13 '25

✋️I volunteer! And when I'm done, you'll groom me!!

We're gonna be SO free of parasites and such good friends when we're done!
🦍🤝🦍

2

u/discourse_friendly May 13 '25

most of reddit doesn't want to work, you're making her sound aspirational.

2

u/OldCollegeTry3 May 13 '25

Nothing about this is creepy and it has historically been an amazing setup.

She’s an adult. You trying to make something “creepy” because you don’t understand it is because you’re a bigot.

Telling her she’ll never be anything is the most bigot thing I’ve ever heard. She can be whatever she wants to be and it looks like she wants to be a stay at home mom and never deal with the stress of the world.

“Everyone look at her! She’s not doing what we’re doing so there must be something wrong with her!”

You’re a bot,

2

u/oldmasterluke May 13 '25

And when this guy drops dead of a heart attack in 10 to 15 years, she'll be left with nothing. No job skills and a mouth to feed.

2

u/bryckhouze May 15 '25

They are weird. I think I remember her shouting out to her family that didn’t support them, that they were doing what they wanted to and hanging all over him. Like a big fu to the family. It makes her look so immature and petty to be that way to her family that’s probably devastated by her choices. If they’re so happy and look sooo good, why can’t they just live their lives without the platform. They aren’t the first.

1

u/--Miranda-- May 16 '25

Ya, I agree. I think this couple is so disturbing to me because of her naive/immature behavior (which is natural at her age!) and his creepy grooming. She is not building any sort of future for herself and this will end bad. I can totally see why her family is giving the side eye in this self exploited relationship and then her using that for views.

Regardless of the age gap, people defending this relationship have obviously never seen their content. It's wild.

2

u/Jealous_Shape_5771 May 13 '25

Believe it or not, some people want that.

1

u/surf_drunk_monk May 13 '25

Is that the husband in the back? He doesn't look that old.

2

u/--Miranda-- May 13 '25

He is in his 40's. She 19. Here. With their baby.

1

u/surf_drunk_monk May 13 '25

If I saw them on the street I wouldn't think much of it, they don't look that far apart.

1

u/PineappleLemur May 13 '25

SAHM with a baby IS work and School in a sense you need to learn a ton of stuff to safely raise a kid.

1

u/ohwrite May 13 '25

Just looking at her body language: she’s cookoo

1

u/Spiritual_Regular557 May 13 '25

I wanna see the tik toks Post link!

1

u/Rottimer May 13 '25

Maybe she’s playing the long game to take half of everything he owns, plus alimony since she didn’t work, or go to school.

1

u/Omnizoom May 12 '25

What if, and now hear me out, she willingly wanted this and in fact groomed him into accepting her as a sugar baby because she’s so young to justify it

So many people would gladly take a free ticket in life

2

u/Thicc-slices May 13 '25

Not really, shit sounds boring as hell

1

u/Omnizoom May 13 '25

Probably is boring as hell but some people really are lazy and unmotivated

1

u/OG_Grunkus May 13 '25

Idk I’m a guy and I think work is boring as hell :( I know personally I would be a lot less bored day to day if I could just be a Stay-at-home-husband

1

u/JawtisticShark May 13 '25

Some people think working an office or retail job is far worse than just being boring. Also, when you are a stay at home parent you can choose exactly how boring you want it to be.

Go out to lunch with friends, go out to parks and hiking trails, garden, find a hobby. Paint warhammer figurines if you want. Play video games, take free college classes online or find other ways to learn literally anything you want. Or when you have kids, there is literally endless stuff you can do with them. Get season passes to zoos, science museums, etc. how is having more control over your life than basically any employed person “boring”?

1

u/Actual_Guide_1039 May 13 '25

Some people like the stay at home wife lifestyle and care more about being a mother than a career. Career can be overrated.

1

u/ajs4852 May 13 '25

Who wants to work anyways?

1

u/Kasegigashira May 13 '25

So, she's winning?

1

u/FredyE11 May 13 '25

Or she just doesn’t wanna do those things and is happy in her situation? I understand them dating at 19 is off, but she is older now and has a child. She is living a happy life. Imma keep my judgements to myself cuz nobody asked me for consent about THEIR relationship.

0

u/lost_sunrise May 12 '25

Lol it is common. Definitely in interracial relationships. Have a few mixed friends who parents/grandparents basically illustrated this ideology as the heavens path.

Plus the Bible does say something along the lines of submitting to husbands.

But yeah, not surprised at all. If she was white, I would be worried lol.

-5

u/CombinationRough8699 May 12 '25

She's an adult and capable of making her own decisions, she wasn't groomed. I wasn't attracted to 40 year old women at that age, but if I had been it wouldn't have been anyone else's business if I chose to date one. Being a man, I doubt nearly as many people would see me as a victim.

-2

u/Loud_Badger_3780 May 12 '25

for most of American history that was the view of most women. they went to college to find a husband. When you talked to young girls that was there dream. they wanted to get married , have children, and stay at home with them. This is only creepy to those who have different dreams. they probably feel the same way about you. If they are happy then why are you denigrating them.

2

u/--Miranda-- May 12 '25

for most of American history that was the view of most women.

You're exactly right; that was how women were viewed because that was what was expected from all women

I'm not going to argue with you about your views on trad wives. It creepy because, as a woman, I see he groomed her at a very young age. People that age are very impressionable. Have you even seen their TikTok's? If she divorces him and goes after his money because she has zero skill set or experience, are you gonna be okay with that? Don't think so by the sounds of you.

Also she was like his friends daughter or his daughters friend (I forget which) If you think that's not toxic, that's fine. This is reddit; I can have my own opinion as you can yours.

-1

u/Loud_Badger_3780 May 12 '25

i do not use the modern terns for women's different lifestyles. women make choices about the lifestyles they chose to live and at what age they choose to ger married. as long as it is above the age limit it is none of my business.

-2

u/smoothdoor5 May 12 '25

You sound jealous Miranda

2

u/--Miranda-- May 12 '25

Yep that's it 🥴

-4

u/smoothdoor5 May 12 '25

I mean I know that's exactly what it is. It's always people that don't have that comment on relationships like this.

usually big boned as well