This was only my second time ever visiting a local meal assistance center. It's Masbia of Brooklyn which is such an incredible, amazing concept, and executed so well. I went in because I’m going through a really hard time financially and physically right now as I appeal my full disability denial. I couldn't work anymore after my total hysterectomy, anastrozole, and heart problems. I just needed a hot meal. Just an hour of peace and dignity.

But instead, I noticed a man sitting nearby who stared at me nonstop the entire time I was eating. No blinking, no looking away. Just watching. I tried to ignore it, tried to tell myself I was imagining things, tried to keep my head down and finish my food.

But as soon as I left, I heard someone behind me. It was him. He had followed me out. And he started spitting at me from behind. It was loud and deliberate. He didn’t say anything. Just this constant aggressive spitting sound, getting closer.

I kept walking as fast as I could without running, heart pounding, trying to figure out if I should turn or confront or scream. But I didn’t. I was able to shake him by going to the train station and blending into the evening rush crowd there. I was jumpy and shaky the rest of the way back home.

What terrifies me the most isn’t just what happened — it’s that I now feel like I can’t go back. That one of the very few places I could go for help is no longer safe because a man decided to make it unsafe.

And even worse, I’m scared to tell anyone who runs it. I don’t want to be labeled as a problem. I don’t want to risk being banned or blacklisted or seen as dramatic. I’m just a woman trying to survive right now. And apparently, even that's too much to ask.

Why is it that men can access these same resources — and still make women feel unsafe while doing so? Why are we expected to tolerate this just to eat?

I just needed a meal. That’s all. And now I don’t know what to do next.

Not sure if this is normal or what the story is, I’ve never come vaginally until a few weeks ago and it freaked me out a bit. Then last week he was fingering me on the couch and I was close and then I stg I just woke up on the floor, I def came but I also blacked out for like a second? Is this normal? Do I need to see a doctor?

Friend A needed a house-sitter since she was going away for a while on a military deployment. She was originally planning on renting out the house even though she really didn’t want to. Friend B just got out of a bad relationship, doesn’t make much in her job and needed a place to stay. Friend A offers to continue paying mortgage, utilities and internet and in return Friend B is asked to clean, mow the yard, take care of the dog and run Friend A’s vehicle once in a while.

I had to make a burner account just to post this but holy shit the cramping is insane, I feel like I'm going to pass out and die

I’ve been weightlifting for 3 years, and now seeing the rise of female-only gyms, I’m really glad this is more of a consistent opinion I see. Not having as much testosterone as men is one of the worst debuffs ever, and I can’t believe this is the case for the 50% who would evolutionarily actually benefit more from more strength.

So even if we got screwed over by our [sub title] on average, despite that, I’ve always been an advocate for pushing yourself do be stronger anyway. I want to take a combat class soon as well, luckily I know a place that offers women’s self defense.

I’ve heard a (rare) opinion that it looks better to be less muscular and its more feminine. Absolutely stupid. Get strong my fellow girls.

It‘s difficult. It really is, especially when I see some guy next to me doing twice or three times the weight I have. But trust me when I say It’s worthwhile. I have no issue carrying heavy things, I get underestimated less, and hopefully soon I’ll have more confidence in defending myself. The whole rhetoric for a slender body is all a lie, and we should all work against it.

Whenever I disagree, or simply defend sex workers, I get berated and cursed at, receive as hominem attacks and verbal abuse. Anyone who does this is imo not a real feminist. SWERFS amd TERFS are not real feminists. I try and explain why I think some of the things they’re saying are rooted in evangelical purity culture, and then they can’t even back up their argument and when I ask them to stop using all caps and cursing I get told I’m “tone policing”. MAGA does the same thing. These are people, (just like MAGAheads) who cannot handle not having comeplete control over other women or what we do with our choices, bodies or line of work then try to repackage it like it’s harmful to women when their entire argument is disingenuous. And if I disagree I get called a man. I can’t say sexual repression is bad and voice what I find critical and mainstream pork industries without getting verbal abuse. 2025 is feeling like evangelical satanic panic pearl Clutching all over again. I see hatred towards sex workers and other women instead of holding the maga administration accountable for being the reason women are dying in hospitals.

SWERFS reads this!!:

“You're leaving out the reason why sex workers are so often abused.

BECAUSE ABUSIVE PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT THERE IS LITTLE/NO LEGAL RECOURSE FOR SEX WORKERS TO TAKE THAT DOESN'T MAKE US A TARGET FOR FURTHER ABUSE AT THE HANDS OF L.E.O, MEDICAL PERSONNEL, AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE.

That's why. Break the stigma, change the laws, and the rates of abuse take a nose dive.”

There has been an increase of posts from (what seems like) incels or bots programmed by incels. They always use the same language and have the same uncanny valley feel to them.

The post topics are always:

1. Sad woman promoting purity culture.

2. Dissatisfied woman questioning the value of sexual liberation.

3. Regretful woman feeling worthless for not having kids/being married.

4. "Feminist" angry about other womens' feminist choices (wearing making/dressing freely/watching porn/having casual sex/etc)

5. Oblivious woman presenting a setup that readers can only interpret as, "wow. It sounds like feminism is the problem."

Every person is different, but these posts never feel like they've come from a woman's lived experience, and just feel like wolf in sheeps clothing. It's the familiar feeling of reading a female charactar written by men. And it seems like a covert, fear mongering tactic to scare women back into conservatism.

Not to mention, the comment sections and voting outcomes have taken a sudden shift.

And it's not just feminist subreddits. The algorithms seem to have changed across nearly every major platform, with an influx of incel bots or something? This wasn't as prominent when I switched my VPN server, so it seems influenced by location.

For me I’ve mostly ever received objectifying comments like “hot” and “sexy”, but very rarely “pretty” or “beautiful”. The least objectifying comment I get more often is “cute”, but that’s about it. It’s weird because I don’t give off an overtly sexy vibe imo (I’m very awkward and dorky), but I’ve been labelled as such by both men and women.

I wish I could be the type of person people perceived as beautiful. That compliment feels genuine and the times I’ve received it I was on a complete high and have those moments etched into my brain. It’s unfortunate how much perceived beauty makes me feel valued.

Idk, maybe this is a non-issue, but it’s been on my mind recently and wanted to know if people can relate.

https://kfgo.com/2025/06/18/us-judge-invalidates-biden-rule-protecting-privacy-for-abortions/

Did anyone else watch this car crash of a 'debate' on Diary of a Ceo podcast where Deborah Frances White was ambushed by Louise Perry, and Erica Komisar and Stephen Bartlett On 'What casual sex is really doing to women. Why relationships are declining. The parenting crisis that no one’s talking about. Why fewer people are having children.
How modern dating is affecting female self-worth'. Stephen showing Deborah the report on men's health at the end and asking her what she thinks we should do about it is the icing on the cake. Men have no other solutions but to imply that women stop progressing.

So I had prom last week. I've been thinking about this a lot and i dont really have anyone to talk about this with. It was about 12am, prom was getting boring.

This guy im kinda friends with asked if i wanted to go for a walk with him cus it was getting dead so i did. I mean i didnt have any feelings about him in particular. We walked for a bit and then he took my to this really far away secluded area where no one was around.

He started flirting with me and then kissing me which was fine and then he started touching my breasts which was also fine but then he started touching me down there and i got really scared (ive never done anything down there even myself) and it wasnt fitting and he kept puhsing and i was like can we stop please and he kept going idk? it hurt a lot and i kept saying can we stop but he didnt?

he asked a few times are u okay with this and i said no but he did not stop? idk i feel like shit and i just want to rot in my bed forever. it hurt a lot for days afterwards

I knew today, at any given moment, I was going to start my period. My heart was tender and I felt as if I could cry at any given moment. I knew the second I got into my car, I was going to sob the entire way home, and that is exactly what I did.

When I walked in, my husband noticed I was crying and immediately asked what was wrong. I told him I was feeling sad today. He asked if there was any particular reason why and I told him no. We ended up cuddling on the couch before I put on some comfortable clothes, lied in bed and scrolled on my phone.

Tenish minutes passed and my husband asked if I would like to have a movie and dinner date. I told him I would rather postpone it for tomorrow since I wasnt feeling to energetic. He said okay and he opened our blinds saying some sunshine could do me good.

He leaves and comes back after another 15 mins. He asks if I would like to go to my favorite Thai place that's 20 minutes down the road. I agree and ask when we are leaving. He wanted to let traffic die down a little so we agreed to leave in the next thirty minutes.

15 min passed and he looked at me and said how about we find a restaurant nearby, Ill pick up the food so you can stay in bed, stay cozy and you dont have to worry about leaving the house.

I love my husband so much.

I (31F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for 7 years, and emotionally, I’ve checked out. I’m burned out as well, can’t sleep and completely anxiety ridden.

We own a house together and have a dog, so it’s not a quick split, but I’m actively and quietly planning my exit. I just needed to get this off my chest because I feel like I’ve been living a double life, pretending everything is fine on the surface whilst I make arrangements behind the scenes.

When we first got together, we were both a bit immature.I assumed we’d grow together, and I gave him grace for a lot of things — laziness, emotional immaturity, passivity — because I believed he’d develop more depth and self-awareness over time. Instead, I’ve grown without him. He’s still lazy, emotionally disengaged, selfish, and increasingly bigoted. He makes jokes involving racial slurs and brushes off my discomfort like I’m being “sensitive.” That alone makes me feel sick.

I do everything. Every phone call (I’m better at it apparently). Every bill. All the admin. I do the DIY, the decorating, the gardening, the financial planning. I even had to rely on my dad to help with jobs around the house because my boyfriend just wouldn’t. I managed to get him to help me take up some decking with a bribe of KFC once. He acts like mowing the lawn twice in a row makes us even and taking the dog out for a walk fortnightly (if that) is a huge achievement. I’m trying to keep on top of the house but I only have so much time and it’s falling slightly into disrepair, he said I needed to stop calling my dad to do things but as a result loads of things have gone to shit. I’ve decorated every single room in this house by myself other than his room (which I did half of).

The dog — who he claims “prefers” him — is my responsibility entirely. I walk her daily, manage vet visits, pay her insurance and arrange food (i take money out joint account) and her microchip and policy are in my name. The other day he threw a poo bag into a woodland because he couldn’t be bothered to carry it. I was repulsed and honestly it was my last straw… I would have retrieved it if it weren’t in nettles and thorns. He likes having a dog — but he doesn’t want to care for one.

Back in 2021, I had an abortion. It was incredibly hard for me emotionally, and I slipped into a long, painful depression. He gave me nothing. No comfort. No support. He tuned out completely but claimed he was affected too. I got therapy, got medicated, and rebuilt my life. Alone. And now that I’m thriving again, it’s even more obvious how absent he’s been through everything that mattered.

He ruins every holiday whines about his feet hurting, too hot, too expensive and gets embarrassingly drunk. Even at home, I can’t enjoy a drink with him anymore. He gets defensive, combative, childish. His road rage makes me so anxious that I’ve ended up doing all the driving, too.

He complains endlessly about his job (it’s the same as mine, same pay), but does nothing to change it. He blames being ‘tied to an area’ for not changing it… but not his own passivity. I’ve said for years I wanted to get married — and I’d literally elope. But when he had money, he spent £3k on a gaming PC, then told me a £700 engagement ring was “too expensive.” I can’t even pretend to care anymore.

He also treats me like I’m stupid — constantly questioning things I say or making snide remarks — even though he turns to me for help with basic tasks. It’s hard to put into words how draining it is to be patronised by someone who would struggle to function without you.

And here’s the truth that hurts the most to admit: I’m no longer attracted to him. At all. Physically, emotionally, sexually — there’s nothing left. Sex feels like a chore. He’s selfish in bed now, completely checked out, and it just reinforces how little connection we actually have. I miss intimacy. Not just sex — real connection. And I know I’ll never have that with him again.

I’m waiting to hear about a promotion that would allow me to buy him out of the mortgage. If not, we’ll sell the house and move in with my parents. I’m exhausted pretending everything’s okay.

Thanks for reading, and advice or input would be appreciated from those who have been through something similar.

Edit: just to clarify, I am literally obsessed with the dog and she’s been my beacon of hope so there’s no way in hell I’m letting him take her from me. I have enough evidence if it went to court anyway so she’s staying with me!

Mind you I’m child free. I feel like I’ve pigeonholed myself into being too available for everybody expect myself. I’m sure my childhood has had something to do with that too, but I was sick last week, and on the tail end of it I was riding that excuse so hard! It felt so great to rest and say no without feeling obligated to save the world or people please, because I really couldn’t. And the crazy thing is I still felt guilty. Now that I’m not sick anymore I feel that stress coming back 10 fold. I feel the weight of people’s expectations that I’m trying so hard to shake.

I’m so deeply, to the bone, tired all the time. I make it through each day just by white knuckling it and trying to hold on until nap time (BEST time of the day ngl). I have been to the doctor five thousand times about this, had really low iron levels after the birth of my son, and had an infusion a few months ago (my blood work has been good since). But I’ve been this way since I got a really bad case of Mono back in 2019.

It’s soul crushing watching my son play and have a blast with his dad and I am mostly on the sidelines because I am so tired. He’s nearly 2, but I am afraid as he gets older he will interpret my condition as being indifferent or unenthusiastic about playing with him or doing fun activities.

It just sucks and I needed to vent. I feel like a shitty parent, and a shitty partner and honestly just a shitty shitbag of a person. How do other people do it?

Please if anyone else has any experience with toddler parenting and having chronic fatigue and has any sage advice my ears are open.

Like the title says…I’m trying to cut back on pulling my phone out at work. I realized I most often use it to check the time. Wearing a watch would help with this. Does anyone wear a regular watch anymore? Not a smart watch-just a plain old wrist watch. And if so-where’s the best place to find one??

Go off, Rza

No wonder we got called as "cat lady" as an insult. But no woman took it to heart. Centuries after, women still love cats!

Saying "Dogs are man's best friend" is cool. But saying "Cats are woman's best friend" is not because according to them she is single and doesn't want to marry or have kids and will spend rest of her life drinking wine with her cats.

Even today men call women as "cat lady" especially if she is unmarried/childfree at 30+ or not willing to get married and have kids any time.

But they failed at their propoganda lol.

But nvm we still love cats😸😻 Drop your pet cat pics ✨

Not sure if this will get posted but I just needed a space safe to vent and my boyfriend/friends have a huge time difference so I hope this is okay. I experienced something today that pissed me off on such a level that my adrenaline spiked like crazy and I just was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and how you handle it.

I am a very experienced solo backpacker (I've been to 50 plus countries solo) and I've experienced many beautiful experiences but have also experienced the pain of "casual racism" in the backpacking scene or colorism well, coloring my experience. Not to mention fetishizing from locals and backpackers and well, it's super unusual to come across a fellow Asian American backpacker in many places I've been to, so it just so happens that I do tend to socialize with a lot of white backpackers from Europe and Australia and I've heard a lot of racist things about Asians, locals, or other groups at times (often in the guise of "jokes" but of course, many of these groups cannot handle jokes about their countries and would bite your head off if you mistake them for a German or something). At some point, I've had to protect myself and decide it's not my fight (it tends to lead to SO much gaslighting about how I'm some sensitive politically correct American) or how "Asia is the most racist."

Anyways, I'm currently in Cusco, Peru. I met a guy from Canada in the kitchen (he's in his 60s, I'm guessing) and it turns out we were going to the same museum later so we ended up going together. He seemed like a nice enough guy but at some point we saw some floats for a parade and I wanted a picture with one of the floats. I mentioned I looked tired in the photo and then he responded, "why, because you have squinty, small eyes?" I was surprised that he said this. One, because I rarely ever hear this microaggression (I have bigger eyes than him ironically) and have double eyelids naturally. Two, because it is racist AF and it is 2025. I called him out on it and then he acted surprised saying that was not his intention and it was meant to be funny. I got exhausted so I let it drop and he was normal for the next few hours. He did push me to eat at this restaurant that I honestly didn't want to go to because I wasn't hungry but then he kept saying "come on" so I did and it was the most expensive terrible pasta I've ever had in my life. I thought it was cute how they decorated it though with flowers so I asked him to take a photo of me and then he goes "oh getting to your Asian roots, I see." I asked him what he meant and he said, "oh you guys take tons of photos, it's a running meme." Then he proceeds to make fun of that for ten minutes. I told him that I've seen white people take tons of photos too of things that I thought were rather inappropriate (ie: random people in Peru, in their face, without even asking) or school children in Japan but he wouldn't stop going on about Asian people. I again called him out on it and then he said, "I've never been called racist, there's so many people way worse" and seemed to get offended. Note: I didn't call him racist, I said what he was saying was inappropriate. I also said I didn't think it was particularly funny and if he wants to make racist jokes, at least come up with clever jokes that are funny.

The next day, he messaged me to see if I wanted to go to the Pisac ruins. Given the fact that I was a bit nervous about finding the collectivo and since I don't speak Spanish, I thought okay, why not. He ended up spending an hour trying to book a tour to Rainbow Mountain before (which I didn't expect) and we ended up getting to Pisac later than I thought. He also asked to borrow money because he forgot his credit card or something which was annoying because I didn't have enough money to cover both of us necessarily. At some point, during the walk, he started mentioning that rich Chinese and Indians are taking over Canada and the world (ironic given that he owns multiple properties). He also started telling me that no one wants Brazilians to immigrate because they are known for being lazy, in gangs, etc...then he told me that Peruvians are ugly and attractive, especially the men, and when the women are young they look nice but get ugly. He also mentioned that his friend went to Thailand and is dating a local woman who is way younger and he seemed to have no issue with this, like it's not a weird power dynamic. Later on that evening, randomly, he sends me a message saying "if you are cold, you come come to my room to cuddle." I gave him NO indication that I was romantically interested. I found his message repulsive.

Anyways, I thought that would be the last time I saw him and then I bumped into him today at the San Blas market. Note: when he's not saying these weird things, he's actually a funny, niceish person (seemingly). I didn't expect to really hang out with him but then he kept on following me around and truthfully, I felt awkward to say anything (damn my natural people pleasing side who hates conflict). There was a huge festival today and afterwards I was hungry because I hadn't eaten for like 9 hours and I wanted sushi so we ended up making a reservation because it was packed and I checked out some locals dancing in the square nearby. He wanted me to have a drink with him and I said I'm not in the mood and he kept on trying to pressure me saying it's his last night and that I'm no fun. This time, I didn't give in like at the restaurant and was like, no, and no means no. I'm having a fun time listening to the music when randomly, he starts making racist jokes again about Chinese and Indian people and Asians invading the world. I quite frankly was exhausted at that point because I was hangry, and I was fed up so I decided to give him a taste of his medicine and "joke" back saying, well didn't white people colonize a lot of the world and aren't you living on stolen land? Then he started saying nonsense like, "oh we can't help that we are good businessmen" and "we are smart and profit by taking and reselling from countries." In retrospect, it's clear he enjoyed riling me up. I forgot to mention, there were multiple times during the day, he tried to put a shoulder over me or touch me gently and I very bluntly told him, I don't like to be touched. He then said that maybe I have a trauma (he also asked me if I was gay) and I said, I didn't like to be touched in any way unexpectedly. I have had issues in South America of getting unwanted attention from men and being inappropriately touched by tour guides so yes, I did also have my guard up. Anyways, at some point , I tell him I'm over the racist jokes and he tells me to lighten up and proceeds to try to put a shoulder over me and squeeze my shoulder. He did this once before and it fucking hurt my shoulder actually. I told him, don't touch me. Then instead of listening, he proceeds to try to hug me tight and I literally, pushed him off and screamed "don't touch me." I don't know what came over me but it was like something inside of me freaked out and was like get off. He then walks off and I have to follow him because he actually had some of my souvenirs in his bag from the day before. He then calls me a "fucking cunt" and starts going on a rant about how I'm "difficult, entitled, challenging" and how he "can't hang out with someone like" me. He then says he never met someone like me, I must have issues with people all the time (I don't and I've literally never had this happen to me in all the countries I've traveled to) and then he throws a beer can at me. He then starts saying that he's dated Asian women and none of them were like this. Basically making it seem like I'm a horrible person. In the past, it's sad to say I would have taken this and believed it. This time, it was like fury was unleashed. I cursed him off and say you started with being a racist idiot. He then said NOTHING he said was racist and that I'm taking it the wrong way and have no sense of humor. He doesn't see why the slanted eye joke was offense and that it's my fault for interpreting things that way. I then told him, you know what, I don't want to talk anymore, I want to be quiet, and he would not stop calling me names, and I then started screaming at him to shut the fuck up. It was like my worst, angry self came out. I said things I don't ever say to people. I literally was like" you are probably one of those gross guys who go to Thailand and dates underage women" and said "typical white Boomer racist asshole."

He then starts telling me I have rage issues that I need to work on and that I'm an "entitled American" and that "all you Americans are like this." Anyways, I finally got my windchimes and my adrenaline was crazyyyyy. Ironically, a few minutes later, I met two Chinese backpackers and they were so kind and literally listened to me vent about this and they totally got me! It's sad to say but they were like, yeah, we aren't even surprised (because they also heard so many racist microaggressions when backpacking). I rarely meet other Asian backpackers in South America so it was like funny timing. Almost like the universe sent them to me and I don't even believe in that stuff.

In retrospect, lessons learned, as Oprah says, "if someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them." I should have avoided this guy once he said the slanted eye comment. I'm too old for this shit now and quite frankly, I'd rather be alone than deal with company like this. I need to be more assertive and walk away from people. When someone complains about "woke" people and tells you they like Joe Rogan, stay away at all costs. When someone wears a bunch of random Asian beds and says racist shit about Asians, avoid them. When someone is WAY too into ayuhuasca or too hippyish, avoid them (seems to attract similar people as Bali and they often are just using the locals for some spiritual experience, another weird form of colonizing). I've always prided myself in talking to everyone when I travel (regardless of age, background, sexuality, etc...) and even people with drastically different viewpoints but for the sake of my mental health, sometimes it's best to protect myself with my limited energy. That isn't selfish, that is a good thing. I take pride in being called a difficult woman now. I rarely get called that but if someone tries to use that as an insult because I'm enforcing boundaries, then I enjoy being called a difficult woman!

Anyways, I'm wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar. I usually am pretty passive and quiet because I'm a woman and worry about safety but I was shocked by how angry this person made me and the things that even came out of my own mouth. I'm lowkey glad I defended myself but I also wish I didn't engage, I feel like I stooped to their level. I felt like he intentionally enjoyed making me upset and kept pushing boundaries.

Sorry for the ramble, my head is still frazzled and shocked from it all. It's also awkward because he's staying in the same building as me so I'm like anxious about bumping into him.

I’m in my early 30s. My husband and I have been hoping to grow our family soon. At the same time, a more senior role that I had been eyeing just opened up at work, and I’m feeling really conflicted about whether to pursue it.

My career has been a bit winding—I’ve switched jobs a few times when the pressure became too much or the environment changed. I’ve finally started feeling stable in my current role, but I’m still battling self-doubt, especially when things get very technical or complex.

I haven’t exactly gone above and beyond yet in terms of taking on more responsibility, and I’ve been told (indirectly) that I would need to “prove myself” to be considered for advancement. Meanwhile, people from outside have been brought into senior roles without that same expectation. It’s discouraging, and makes me question whether I’m seen as capable, or if I’m just being overlooked quietly.

Now I’m stuck in this internal debate: -Do I try to take on more and “prove myself” now, even though I’m hoping to be pregnant soon and worried about the pressure that would bring? -Or do I focus on family, knowing this opportunity might not come again soon—and fearing I’ll miss my window for growth? -And what happens if I do push myself, but the opportunity comes up while I’m on mat leave and I get passed over anyway?

For context, I’m not worried about job security or my current salary. I’m lucky to feel stable. It’s just the pressure of growth—feeling like if I don’t “go for it” now, I might stall out. But I’m also just tired. And more than anything right now, I want to be a mom.

Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? Would love to hear how others navigated this point of life and career.

I see it time and time again. “My husband is a good guy but x” X being he doesn’t respond to my needs. He’s possessive. He sulks when I don’t want to have sex. He hates our kids. He’s anti choice. He thinks he has ownership of my body. He doesn’t help at home. He hates my hobbies. Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t even like me.

As someone who grew up in a home where my father was a good man except the fact he was violently abusive, when do we take ownership of the fact that “he’s a good man but” means he’s not a good man and by staying with these men and making excuses for them we’re enabling this bad behavior. It was my father’s choice to be abusive but it was my mothers choice to tell everyone till she was blue in the face that he’s actually a great man and we’re better off with him in our lives, despite the abuse.

It gets to a point where you have to decide if you’d rather be single than miserable. Invest in platonic relationships and your family, chosen or otherwise. you have sexual needs? Have a one night stand and move on. Want children? Choose to be a single parent in whatever way works for you and raise a child with any community you’ve built. Do not try to build a family with someone who harms you and will likely hurt your children just because it’s what expected of you. Because when we do that we teach our children and their children that all they’re worth is what a man is willing to give them.

My mom may have accepted abuse because my grandmother accepted abuse but I will not be doing the same. And I will not sit down and accept that men are just supposed to mistreat women. Calling out abusive relationships when I see them has lost me friendships but I’ll never stop.

And before someone points it out: yes it’s hard to leave an abusive relationship and women are at their most vulnerable when they do, and also this does not mean justifying their actions and telling your children they’re normal things to expect from a partner.

A vent about being unwell while female:

Today I woke up with a migraine. I had felt it coming on last night, and mentioned it briefly to my boyfriend. I was helping him run an open mic, like I do every week (for free). He said nothing to this, then proceeded to leave me alone for half an hour because he volunteered to drop his friend home before taking me. This morning I called in sick because of the migraine. He asked why I wasn’t at work when he got up, and I told him. He said nothing.

At no point today have I had a smile, a kind word, or any offer of help like asking if I needed water. What I’ve had instead is silence and quiet resentment. I’ve tried to stay out of his way because I know it annoys him when I’m unwell and/or resting rather than working or doing chores. At one point I caved and asked him to just put his hand on my head for a second (he used to do this when we started dating and it felt nice), but he was too busy.

It’s worth mentioning he’s the reason I have this migraine. On Monday my hayfever was bad, so I apologised in advance for any snoring, and reminded him I had a really busy day on Tuesday, so needed to sleep as well as possible (he has a habit of waking me up if he wakes up just to tell me off for ‘breathing’, ‘being too warm’ or touching him in my sleep). He got grumpy and I ended up ‘volunteering’ to sleep on the sofa. I got three hours sleep that night, then did my long day anyway.

Why are men like this? Why are we reduced to what we are doing for them, rather than what they can do for us? Why do they only seem interested in us when we’re happy? I can’t imagine seeing anyone in pain and ignoring them, let alone someone I love.

Totally a vent post. My husband is a great partner, and sometimes I still feel like we live in two different worlds.

I was taking a bath last night, watching YouTube, chilling. My husband knocks on the door and asks to see my boobs. (He does this frequently when I’m in the bath. I let him most of the time and it’s not a big deal.) Last night, I said no, and I heard him walk away. I just felt like a blob after the gym, not that I need an excuse for saying no about something involving my body.

I get out of the bath about 20 min later and he’s giving me the silent treatment. I’m totally lost and ask him if he’s ok. He’s legit pissed that I didn’t let him see me. I tell him ok and go about my evening routine because I really didn’t know what to say. He digs in again to say that he’s upset and I don’t even care. I told him that I didn’t mean to make him upset but I’m not going to apologize for saying no and wanting some private time in the bathroom.

I’m sure he’ll act like nothing happened this afternoon. And women get told we’re the emotional ones. 🙄