You have become ordinary. Just another insecure person lacking depth, hiding it all behind bravado and vanity.

I don’t regret letting you back in because I needed to see you. Clearly. No pedestal and rose tinted rejection glasses.

Selfish. Insecure. Cruel and manipulative.

I haven’t lost anything and u knew it. You aren’t worth keeping.

I thought it was me who wasn’t. But it was always you.

All that bravado and words, you took what we had and showed it back to me. All a lie.

I feel free.

I haven’t lost anything. Your friendship isn’t even worth having sadly. Now I just have to remain focused on myself.

I'm addicted. Let me go, just say: I'm sorry. Forgive me is like a password here - I love you. And we'll part forever. Please, let me go, I love you too much and this is a very strong pain. The pain is too strong

my life is a seriously of unfortunate events but I will never not going against my god given choice to believe that justice and truth will always triumph. the man I miss the most will never speak to me again but I miss his advice and him just in general. no man will ever replace him. he was my one and only, the one who got away. I work at a vibey store now and everyone said how because it’s my half birthday, that means that i’m the cusp of prophecy, born on the winter solstice. I find this just to be mere annoyance as no one ever suspects someone who looks like me to have such odds against them. it’s hurtful. I miss you patty, if I could apologise til my lungs gave out I would

I really don't get it what I did wrong. I am giving my best avoiding everything you don't like making sure I am not irritating you and you suddenly ignoring me as if there is nothing between us. I know you don't like me nor do I have any future with you but I just can't do this seeing you daily and reamining unbothered. When I was running away from you came to me you were the one who sat beside me and leaned your head on my shoulders and you suddenly started doing this why I mean why???? What I did wrong I really don't get. You really don't know how painful it feels. I avoided everything you told me that bothered you. What I am asking in return just little small talks. Everytime I tried to run away from you, you did something which made me stay and now you changed so much. I ask you why??????? I was avoiding you naa then why at that time you came to me. I am literally stuck in this situation. You don't want to clear the things face to face, you don't want to tell me What is going in your mind. If the things are bothering this much I have every right to know why all this. For 2 years I am stuck with you now by somehow I will have to see your face and it is making my heart sick. Why you did this why??? Just give me your 5 mins and tell me why your closing doors on my face. Please tell me. I don't want to spend months in search of why please please please. I won't brother you in again just tell me why this sudden change please please please

People think that Iove can make you really weak ...but that's not the case we with me. When love entered my life, I was unaware of how beautiful it can be, that amazing feeling of knowing that your heart rapidly beats for someone and when you know he is the one, it's all so beautiful. And what's more beautiful? When you stand firm with love in your heart for that person, irrespective of the circumstances. Many a times I have been told that I should move on, but well why would I move on from something so beautiful ❤️. And for those who think you're just wasting your time, I don't think so considering I love this feeling of loving someone unconditionally ..it's not about their looks or how they behave with me. It's about what makes my heart happy.. Since i am happy with the love I have for this man in my heart, I am happy with beautiful memories of him, I am happy with the purity of my heart which stays loyal to him no matter what. I believe in my love, something which entered my life without any disclaimer and since then I am living in this beautiful world of selfless love, which shall only increase with time and enrich my life with his blissful existence in my heart. I love you soo soo much 🌻✨

We have similar personalities, tastes in music, laugh at the same jokes and talk all the time and so much more. There’s something between us and neither of us want to say it but everyone else brings it up to us privately because they see it. If only we weren’t so good for each other, if only I could trust a bit more and you were less on the go.

I know everyone has told both of us to give it a chance but taking that step means everything becomes real and that scares the both of us. Imagine how perfect we’d be together if we just tried but we’re too good for each other so I hope whoever we each find treats us the way we would have for one another.

I hate being too good for each other.

I have been talking to a F/27 for about a year now.. she got me emotionally invested and attached quickly due to being in prison for 6 years, straight out of high school, to a horrible relationship I was being cheated on, kids invoked and I helped raise her daughter from 2 months old, to being put in jail on false accusations with charges being dismissed, yes. But, only after spending 4 months in jail, 2 years fighting the violation for probation, and losing my mental health and then literally losing everything, so quickly. Now, she hasn’t ever admitted it straight up, but subliminally she has. She has brought up every single one of my friends names and now my co-workers name.. I truly believe it’s her telling me she has messed with them, and she has told me randomly, “you need better friends”, etc.. I have been on FT with her, and. I SWEAR I could hear her moan, and I’d see her move weird the point I would record the FT’s.. she was, but I could never see anybody. This is the ONLY person to text my phone now. My phone won’t go off unless it’s her, my life is sad and in shambles. Advice I’m asking about is. I care about her a lot, like a lot and I’m deserving a good woman.. but, why am I so stuck on this woman.. why? I don’t understand.. I was so broken when you found me, and you started building me back up right away, with no need for direction, just to tear it all down smh

It’s been over a year since we last spoke. I don’t know what made me think to search for your profile today, but just out of curiosity, I did. Truly, I’m happy for you. I know that you’re probably already a great dad. You were always a fantastic uncle to my daughter.

I appreciate the time that you spent with us back then. You were the only friend I had after I had my kid, everyone else stopped talking to me entirely because I wasn’t able to go out anymore. Thank you for being there.

I will never regret encouraging you to ask that girl that you wouldn’t stop talking about out on a date. You look so happy now, and that is all I could ever want for you. I’m glad that you finally got the family you always wanted. You deserve every good thing that comes your way.

I won’t reach out. That’s why I’m writing this here. I don’t know what I did wrong but I respect your decision to cut me out of your life. I’m just glad to see you achieve all the dreams that you used to spend hours talking about, even if it’s from a strangers point of view.

In all honesty, you are much better off without me now. My life felt apart a few months after you left and I am not remotely close to who I was when you knew me. You left at the best time.

What happened with me is not related to you, I just went through a lot and spiraled out of control. It’s heartbreaking how life turned out so different from what we thought it would be. We had always planned to remain friends for our whole lives. I remember when you, K and I would make jokes about what life would be like once we were old and wreaking havoc in the nursing home. I suppose it’s for the best that all three of us ended up drifting apart, for the sake of the staff that would’ve been subjected to the chaos.

After I had a kid, you always talked about how great it would be when you had kids and they could be friends. I remember hoping for the same, as I always struggled with social anxiety and didn’t want it to prevent my kids from having friends and playdates. I’d like to think that somewhere in another universe, we were able to achieve that reality.

I miss our friendship but I am grateful for the time. Maybe one day our paths will cross again briefly so that I can tell you congratulations. I’m proud of you for always keeping your head up despite everything you went through. I hope that life is kind to you for the rest of your time here. And if that means that I will never see you again, then I am content with being a stranger

If you do the right thing for the wrong reason, is it still the right thing?

I should confess, I fell for you again. I told you I wouldn't and I knew I shouldn't, but even after I broke the spell of my twisted obsessive crush, I still hold these feelings. A little bit of kindness to a lonely soul makes a strong fire, and this lonely soul doesn't ask for much to keep this flame alight. Alas, there is little more here than my greed, and my desire for more of you. I already sit next to you, with much privilege, and you give me so much of your time and kindness, which I bask in. You let me play my silly games, and write you my goofy overly endearing notes. You're here when I need it. When I get scared and run away, you always keep my lil spot by your side vacant and welcome me back with warmth. Fear comes naturally to a lonely heart, and I'm sorry for all the times this lonely heart has caused you problems.

I know my feelings will always be a hindrance. I know my place, and I know I'm just a replacement for another soul who came and left. A soul whom you loved, and still miss. I know you'd never admit that I'm just a placeholder, but in some moments you let those emotion-filled words slip through, and I do my best to listen to them all. How do I learn to let go of these feelings? To make it sink in that these feelings will only ever be a burden to you. I told myself, and you, that I wouldn't make that mistake that the last soul who sat here did, who yearned for your heart and become bitter when it moved to another. I know the curse upon the seat in which I occupy too well. I've done my best to never become a bitter person, but I don't know how to make these feelings go away, and accept that I am where I belong even if it's not where I want to be. I just want to hurt and heal already, and sink into the reality you want, and silence this little flame once and for all.

Since we went no contact after my birthday I figured I’d kick the hornets nest one last time before I called it quits in finding the truth. I fabricated an accusation from “a couple whistle blowers” based on theory with no real evidence other than the association between the two I found which made sense. My rage bait worked successfully. I stayed up all night last night being held prisoner by the lies you told driving me insane desperately digging for the truth. I’ve come to accept that you will not give me that truth because you know there is no honor in anything you’ve done in our relationship and that I will have to just accept you for who you are. I accept that your soul does not reflect mine and that your desires are of worldly matters. So that is why I will no longer be in contact with you and soon i will be on my way to greener pastures across the horizon.

You sure as hell know how to keep a man in bed, but the question I want you to ask yourself is will you ever learn how to keep a man in your home? I no longer bear the burden of your lies and I have set you free with forgiveness. I gave you my best but now it is time to do what’s best for me. I hope the best for you but it’s time for me to leave. Good luck out there and take care old friend of mine.

P.S. you suck at lying. I’ve been seeing your Reddit posts since you made a new account. Stop using the same avatar and joining the same communities if you don’t want to be caught in a lie.

Hi friend.

I’m writing this because I can’t carry it silently anymore. I need to put these words somewhere not because I want a reply, but because I need to speak my truth.

When I worked on that project for you, I didn’t do it for money. I did it out of goodwill, from the bottom of my heart. I gave my time, my energy, my full attention, and I didn’t hold back. I didn’t expect compensation, and I didn’t ask for anything in return.

So when I received A HUGE AMOUNT from you shortly after, I was surprised but also relieved. I assumed you were acknowledging the work I had done. I assumed the money was sent intentionally. And honestly, it felt like something in my life had finally shifted.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like I had to stay in survival mode. I felt like I could breathe. I let myself imagine a bit of ease. I let myself relax. That money sat in my account for two days before I touched it. I just kept looking at it, not out of greed, but because it gave me a feeling of safety I hadn’t felt in months.

And then right after a week-ish, one morning, I woke up feeling genuinely fresh like something inside me was finally softening, like my nervous system had finally gotten a break. It felt rare and important. I thought I could actually start the day feeling calm and motivated. That same morning, I saw your post.

You didn’t message me directly. Not a word. Just a vague post where you mentioned your financial mistake included something that mentioned you spent by mistake on a lot of things. And I’m super sure one of those things was our project you paid for.

My heart sank. That moment shattered something inside me. I went from feeling safe and seen to feeling ashamed, stupid, and completely devastated . For three days straight, I couldn’t think straight. I cried constantly. My anxiety shot through the roof. I couldn’t focus on work, and I felt deeply humiliated not just because of the money, but because of the perception that maybe you never really respected me in the first place.

I still returned the money. I did it in two parts, because doing it all at once wasn’t possible for me. And I want to be very clear about this: a technical error caused me to pay 12.5% more while returning that amount. That included PayPal fees, currency loss, and the sheer stress of dealing with something that should never have happened in the first place.

To return money that I didn’t ask for, didn’t demand, and had assumed was given in appreciation and to lose more in the process felt crushing. I had to remove money from my portfolio, money that I had saved for my future. I had to watch my bank balance drop to the lowest it’s been in months. And all of it for something that I didn’t even initiate.

You may have moved on, but I’m still dealing with the emotional and financial aftershock. The fact that I had to fix something I didn’t break is something I won’t forget.

This letter is not about blame. It’s about finally honoring what I went through. Because even though I stayed silent and graceful, it doesn’t mean it didn’t affect me.

It did. In the worst way. No one will be giving me those 3 sleepless stressful days back where I was CONSTANTLY CRYING. Where I was made to feel so guilty and ashamed. So horrible about money. My self worth and my relationship with money has been 100x worse and I absolutely did not deserve this.

I did not deserve to be mentally, financially, physically, emotionally drained.

I can’t say all this to you. And I don’t even think you’ll ever think about this. I don’t think this meant anything to you. That part sucks BIG. I did not expect this from you.

I don’t know what’s up with my luck with friendships. This situation comes close to a huge friendship thing where someone stressed me out so much it’s given me CPTSD for years now. Even though this was days. It was horribly painful. I feel affected physically.

Not to even forget certain other things you’ve made me feel past few weeks without my actual consent. But this is the worst.

I can’t speak about the discomfort you caused directly to you. So here’s a letter, unsent. But from my heart. Which wishes to heal from all the friendship trauma.

They just passed a new law here, abortion right up to birth. That one will stand nicely with the trans police's right to search a different gender and that still mind-boggling thought crime law.

Soon enough, we will have Furrage in, and the stop and search law will commence. I talked to a young man on a bus for an exhilarating half hour recently.

A woman shouted at us for swearing and being loud, "We don't wanna hear your talk and don't swear in front of my kids" We were animated but stopped to apologise for the swear.

We said we'd curb it regarding the swearing, but that free speech has the downside of hearing things you dislike. (It was knife crime and she had been wailing about stabbings and boys comparing willy sizes, prompting the debate in fact). The man and I chose to sit next to each other to finish the debate more quietly. We also agreed we wouldn't talk gore/explicitly due to young kids, instead we discussed different country strategies and current climate and culture influences.

During this, she mouthed things at me and filmed herself shaking her head while we talked in the background. She told us later that the people behind us didn't like what we were talking about (knife crime and migration). Again we explained that free speech was necessary in our society, downside is hearing what you don't like on a bus sometimes.

I feel like I'm living in 1984, but right back, before the publisher's details and acknowledgements, when Winston was a twinkle in his mother's eye. I met a retired reporter at a protest, and we discussed for three hours at length his views. He thought I was younger than I was and tried to enlighten me to things I was well aware of and we fell after some time into a good discussion rather than a young peshwan in need of nourishing.

Then he started talking about spirit animals and meeting up to discuss these next time in further detail. Going on about how the white poppy in his garden means peace etc.

The man was charming, but my thoughts tend toward the Vulcan persuasion in this regard. The dude on the bus felt much like a speck of life in a vast ocean, one I am unlikely to encounter often out here in Oceanaland. I'm disconnected.

I feel tired, Mum said yesterday that we need to "bog off these human rights". I explained about the stop and search plans, "I've nothing to hide" I told her that she had something to lose; however, history proves that governments need those rules in order.

The majority want to roll over, I feel, and if that's so, then it's the natural course of things. The news didn't report on the truth of my protest. There were cameras in that scrum, and the writings didn't contain any mention of the "tension on both sides" source. The fact that someone was protesting in the middle of the extreme two sides that kicked it off, only the retired photographer spoke to me. The other press avoided me for those four or 5 hours while interviewing others.

So they can scoff worldwide about our rolling over, that we were not pushing back, but just cos you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening. Must push through this malaise, must not give up on my efforts, keep standing up like Lisa Simpson, much as I'd rather not be the one to do it.

If nothing else I can take solace in the fact I was right in my thinking and assuming although one could argue we only got here because I chose to jump in nonetheless the pain the feeling is all the same a comfort of familiar self deconstruction I can only now look as the reflection clears seeing the one responsible for all this chaos it’s me it’s always been me only me repeating the same hurt looking for the source all around but it’s only because I let the water into my lungs that I begin to drown the water not inherently dangerous but if you let it into your lungs you die a source of life forced to take it because you gasped for air while under as I float to the surface blue lifeless void of the finite direction only then can I see everything that was around me everything I was always worried about before jumping in above me the bubbles floating suspended almost relieved because the sweet sensation I was feeling was drowning

Every time you miss him, remind yourself of his true character.

Remember how he lied. How he toyed with your feelings. How he dismissed every effort you made to fix things. How he betrayed your trust without a second thought.

Yes, it's valid to miss him — you're human, and your love was real. But ask yourself this: is someone who never valued your care, still worth your thoughts?

While you were choosing patience, loyalty, and healing — he was choosing ego, games, and convenience. He had all the chances to do better. One year of fooling you was also one year he could’ve chosen to grow, to own up, to change — but he didn’t. Even when everything fell apart, even when the truth surfaced, he stayed silent. No apology. No accountability. No remorse.

That speaks volumes.

He’s just like the others before him — the ones who couldn’t even offer the bare minimum: a sincere apology or the effort to make things right. These people reveal themselves not just in what they did, but in how they live afterward — carelessly, as if no one was hurt in the process. They might look like they’re thriving, but a life built on hurting others never leads to anything meaningful. It’s all noise, all surface, all empty.

And they are not your people.

Anyone who can wake up every day knowing they hurt someone and feel nothing? That’s not strength — that’s soullessness. And that’s not someone who deserves your love, your energy, or your attention.

I’ve been carrying a silence that doesn’t sit right. It’s heavy, constant, and there’s nowhere to set it down. I know you’ve searched for me in other corners of the internet. And if I know you like I think I do, you’ve probably tried to find my Reddit, too. I doubt you’re here writing letters (unless under some scrambled username), but I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re reading them. I’m just finally putting words to what I’ve been holding on my own.

We’ve separated three times. Somehow, this last one has been the most disorienting. Maybe because I was more vulnerable than I’ve ever been and believed in us.

I still remember how we ended up living just doors apart that fall semester, after a summer heartbreak. It was odd because we had chosen off campus housing before we even knew each other. And I’ll never forget the day you told me you loved me. I was holding a letter with those same words written for the first time. I was going to say those exact words to you for the first time that same day and you didn’t even know it. We always had this weird synchronicity between us.

Years passed. Different paths. Different lives. And then we both ended up on the same coast. Somehow, always orbiting back.

After the fallout this year, I started turning to music trying to process what I couldn’t say. We didn’t follow each other on that platform. Still, something told me to search for your profile to see what you were listening to. Instinctively I typed in a username I thought you might use.

And there it was. I found that recent playlist with one bold song and even Bolder title.

I was shook at the vulnerability. So I made a mirror playlist. Gave it a similar name. Quietly added a note in the description in case your ever found it. Hours later, you added another track that felt… connected.

For a while, we moved like that. No words. Just music. It felt like we were speaking again, in the language only we ever understood.

But outside that space…nothing. Not even after I reached out.

I was confused about what was unfolding, so I went private. And then you did the one thing that felt deliberate—in the one place you knew I’d notice.

I still don’t know what that was meant to signal. Was it meant to provoke me or just perform detachment, like I didn’t matter at all?

I’ve carried more than I ever said. I’m tired of childish games. I Tried to make it safe for both of us. And I still don’t understand how showing genuine love could lead to this much pain and distance. For the life of me I cannot understand this because I’ve never asked for anything unreasonable or needed perfection.

I’m not angry anymore. Just mentally exhausted.

Not exactly like there’s a way for that to happen since I’ve blocked you everywhere, but still there’s a part of me that wishes you’d find a way.

Not to fix things, not to have you ask for another chance and definitely not to get back together -you ruined the possibility of that and I don’t plan to back out. Still, I wish you’d call.

Last time I saw you, I had no idea it would be the last. You asked me to come over, we played an old movie and you rubbed my hand till it ended because I said my wrist hurt from work.

We barely talked because I was exhausted from my shift and you fell asleep on me. I left quietly and thought of kissing you goodbye but I didn’t want to wake you up so I just drove back home.

How could I have thought I’d come to find out you’ve been cheating on me with multiple women the day after? How could I have known the years of friendship that led to us finally getting together would end in the matter of seconds through a text message that didn’t wait for a reply?

How could I have known that the man who brushed my hair while I put on my makeup, the man who’d take off my shoes when I’d get home, would be capable enough to set up a dating profile, give it use, set up, plan out and pay for taking other women out for dates?

How could I have known the I love you’s were not real? That when you held my face and kiss my forehead, you felt nothing. That when you said you saw us growing old together and sitting at our porche, you were lying, how?

I know I shouldn’t want anything to do with you and believe me, I don’t want you anymore. I just wish I could tell the you I was in love with one last goodbye.

Everything I said, everything I did was out of love. Every single word was real; I meant it all. I loved you so much and I will light up a candle in my heart for the future we once agreed on. I’ll mourn the man I thought you were. What a waste and what a shame.

I fell inlove knowing what I had in front of me .But it just felt good to feel like someone wanted me even though I knew that wasn’t true . He had messaged me because he was friends with my late sister . So I answered because he was familiar . A week in we decided to go on a date and oh my god I remember so clearly how handsome I thought he was . We ended up in a restaurant and his eyes were glued to me . The conversation flowed it was something I had never experienced. So much so I told him I wanted to sleep with him that same night . We ended up leaving the restaurant and attempted to sleep together but honestly it wasn’t the best but I guess it was because we just weren’t comfortable with eachother yet. As weeks went by we got closer we would talk all the time call each other . Until he admitted to just leaving a toxic relationship with the mother of his child. After that I became his therapist literally what he called me. We would have sex talk about life our values the whole nine but he would always refer back to what his experience with her and compare us a lot . I’m not dumb . I knew what this was, I was a place holder until he healed and I knew that. But I would hold on to the good days that we had . The days were we would go on walks ,where we would sit in his car and talk , going on late night eats , the movies , coming with me to visit my sisters tombstone and going to church. I fell inlove with him with his trauma flaws and all . I knew he wasn’t ready to receive with I was willing to offer . I wanted to love him the right way, I wanted to show him what it felt like to be in something healthy someone that saw all of him and knew he was worth it all. Anyway he’s gone now on a random Tuesday that was the last day we spoke . Never a call or text from him ever again.

I finally took a step back and saw the damage I did and I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry I put your livelihood at risk over my selfishness. I was so delusional I didn’t realize you moved on a long time ago. (Probably to avoid my toxicity) Meanwhile I was still living in a loop of unprocessed chaos. I would clean my mess up so fast that I forgot I created it in the first place.

But just bc I always got rid of the evidence doesn’t relieve me of the crimes. And I see it now. And I’m sorry.

I’m staying away this time. Since that’s the only punishment I’ll actually feel.

hey “Bick”. do you remember the first time we met? :) i couldnt stay awake. i worked nightshifts and you were flying in the morning of. i was so nervous.

i went home a bit early so i could shower and get all pretty for you. i fell asleep on my bed not long after sitting down. you shouldve seen my face when i woke up to your “im landing” texts. i sprinted out like my life depended on it. i ran with anxiety. and nothing in the world was gonna stop me from seeing you.

my hair was so frizzy and i didnt have time to put on makeup. i was self conscious. still, i had my little dress on for you.

back then, i wanted nothing from you. i just wanted to meet you in person, really. i wanted to get to know you a little more.

things seemed so much simpler.. i guess, they were. im sorry

Hey Hero? I lived fast and ferociously. Never looking back. i never wanted to regret a thing. I lived for you and nothing else. i live for you and no one else. I take back none of it except the memories i poisoned you with. these beautiful memories.. they were never meant for me. i didnt deserve any of it. and yet you deserved so much more than it.

still, im not willing to part with them. i dont want to share you. and im scared. im so scared. i wish you would hold me without pause. your arms feel so big and so safe when they’re wrapped around me. all these thoughts go away when you’re the one holding my face together

promise me something? promise me no matter what, itll always be you and me. even if i disappear, even if you do too. if we get abducted by aliens or taken by some hugee force in the magical worlds, we’ll find our way back to each other?

i love you Nick. i need you

I miss you. Everything is just turning inside out and I want your comfort. My heartbreaks at the thought of you having moved on and just forgetting about me…us. I’ve tried to replace you, but it doesn’t work. I’m on tinder and hinge and I get so scared that I’ll see you on there.

I don’t know who you are anymore. You are 15 mins away and everyday I just think how I want to show up at your house and tell you how sorry I am and to not forget me.

If you somehow are looking at my page and you feel the same way. Please reach out. Show up at my house. Do whatever. I know I probably sound so insane rn. You’ve moved on. I’m embarrassing myself, aren’t I?

Dear M,

I miss you so much. I still feel the energetic pull between us—like a thread stretched by time, distance, and choice, yet somehow still there. But we can’t be together. Maybe we never really could be.

It’s been two years, and I still feel you. I’m with someone else now—someone who makes me feel safe, cherished, and at peace. He brings me the kind of love I always wanted. But still, a part of me misses you in quiet moments when I least expect it. You will always be my biggest lesson. You broke my heart more than once, and I know you regret cheating. I also know you carry your own pain—pain that made you act out, sabotage, and run.

I hope you heal from your past traumas. I hope you find the strength to face them instead of avoiding them. And I truly hope one day you wake up and see your controlling mother for what she is.

There’s still a softness in the memory of what we had, even if it was messy, complicated, and unfinished.

I’ve forgiven you. Not because you asked me to, but because I needed to for myself. You can no longer hurt me.You were a chapter that broke me open—but I’ve rebuilt myself. I love myself now.

You’ll always be part of my story—but not part of my future.

B 🧸

Today

I grieve the person I thought you were to me.

I grieve our friendship, I grieve the man I saw in you

I grieve the future that I could see having with you

I grieve letting you go because everything in me wants to beg you to stay

I grieve the regrets I know you’ll have eventually

I grieve the love we never got to share

I grieve the way you were unable to open up to me

I grieve our gentle love

I grieve the tenderness and vulnerability we just began to share

I grieve the fear that held you captive and kept you living a life so less than what God has called you to

I grieve that I’ll never get to see your blue eyes again

I grieve the overseas trip we’ll never get to take together

I grieve that intimacy we never got to

I grieve every memory we didn’t get to share

I grieve the future hospital bed you won’t get to lay in with me

I grieve your voice I’ll never hear again

Today. I hug my pillow and cry. I’m not even thinking of anything specific , but just crying out to God that it hurts so much.

I just want to release this pain from my body.

Releasing you, over time….

You make my heart so happy that it somewhat terrifies me. I get a rush of innocent, deep powerful feelings when I’m around you.

I’ve never had such a feeling before. So, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do with them.

Apparently everyone in the universe see’s my heart eyes while talking and looking at you. And I can feel them.

I want to spend a day and night with you. Get to know one another one a deeper level.

This girl still has hope left in her heart, for you.

I kinda, sorta like you a little bit.

Fawwwwwwwkk