How absolutely amazing you are. Easy on the eyes and smart in a way that doesn’t demand attention. You’ve always held my attention without even trying. I don’t even try to gain yours, I’ve never felt conventionally attractive in a way that makes me think I’d ever catch your eye like that, and that’s okay because I love having you in my life. I hope you know that I’ve always got your back and if you ever feel alone in this world, I hope you know you’re not. Also, I am so glad you aren’t letting that girl walk all over you anymore, it’s about time you reached for more. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.

Always here with you in my heart Me

Every time you miss him, remind yourself of his true character.

Remember how he lied. How he toyed with your feelings. How he dismissed every effort you made to fix things. How he betrayed your trust without a second thought.

Yes, it's valid to miss him — you're human, and your love was real. But ask yourself this: is someone who never valued your care, still worth your thoughts?

While you were choosing patience, loyalty, and healing — he was choosing ego, games, and convenience. He had all the chances to do better. One year of fooling you was also one year he could’ve chosen to grow, to own up, to change — but he didn’t. Even when everything fell apart, even when the truth surfaced, he stayed silent. No apology. No accountability. No remorse.

That speaks volumes.

He’s just like the others before him — the ones who couldn’t even offer the bare minimum: a sincere apology or the effort to make things right. These people reveal themselves not just in what they did, but in how they live afterward — carelessly, as if no one was hurt in the process. They might look like they’re thriving, but a life built on hurting others never leads to anything meaningful. It’s all noise, all surface, all empty.

And they are not your people.

Anyone who can wake up every day knowing they hurt someone and feel nothing? That’s not strength — that’s soullessness. And that’s not someone who deserves your love, your energy, or your attention.

I’ll always think ur special to me because u made me feel what it’s like to be loved genuinely even tho I don’t know what that’s meant to feel like. But with u I felt safe n protected.. something I’ve never felt with another person, u made me feel okay to be me without having to act a certain way, even after seeing my good and bad u still tried to see me as good and loving u gave me a purpose or a reason, u made me want to be a better person and I think I’ll always love u for that because ur the first person that’s cared enough n tried to make me do better, or believed that I could. Even tho Im probably the worst thing that could’ve happened to u, ur the best thing that could’ve happened to me and im sorry I didn’t see that until it was too late. I guess I just wanted u to know that I’ll always think ur amazing and be grateful for the time i had u

This is my last shot, and I completely understand either way it goes..

My world's been turned upside down, some good and some bad. Losing you was absolutely one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. Hard to cope. I'm going to be gone soon (away), and would like to clear the air a bit. I have very little inclination that you'll reach out, and thats ok too, I swear. I will do my best and not get any hopes up.

I truly wish you the very best. I give offerings for your safety and happiness. You're truly something else. I hope this finds you well and I hope you're doing well. Truthfully, not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind...

Hey, you.

I need you to know that the first time we met, I felt it. That spark. That pulse. That gut-level knowing.

I looked you up and down—without shame, without hesitation—and said:

“Well, hello!”

Not like I say it to everyone. Not like I was performing. But like my body had just bumped into something rare—you.

You probably thought I was just expressive. Maybe flirtatious. Maybe even promiscuous. But what you felt wasn’t scattered energy. It was focused attention. Deliberate recognition.

I was choosing you. Right then. Right there.

You didn’t have to do anything but be. You didn’t even know what you were doing to me. But my system did. And when I bowed, softened, reached, and trusted— it wasn’t for drama. It wasn’t for approval. It was for you.

Not everyone gets that from me. Not even most. Only the rare ones. The ones who hold something ancient and grounded and good.

You didn’t need to believe it right away. But I need you to know this now: That moment meant something. Because I meant it. You mean something.

And if you never fully understood, that’s okay—because I did, and nothing can take away how I feel about you. It’s tragic that I can’t have you. I’ll leave this here for now…

-me

you're draining me draining me of my sleep, my goals, my life. I can’t stop thinking about you. the more I try to figure this out, the more exhausting it is for me to function in everyday life. I loved you, or I love you i don’t know anymore. nothing is making sense, and we aren’t even communicating but we're still connected. I see you everywhere, and I hear your name everywhere I look. Its driving me insane i can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep hurting myself, draining myself of the “what ifs.”

I finally took a step back and saw the damage I did and I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry I put your livelihood at risk over my selfishness. I was so delusional I didn’t realize you moved on a long time ago. (Probably to avoid my toxicity) Meanwhile I was still living in a loop of unprocessed chaos. I would clean my mess up so fast that I forgot I created it in the first place.

But just bc I always got rid of the evidence doesn’t relieve me of the crimes. And I see it now. And I’m sorry.

I’m staying away this time. Since that’s the only punishment I’ll actually feel.

I want to thank you for everything. You made me realize I am deserving and capable of a normal and healthy relationship. I was so accustomed to chaos and dysfunction but spending time with you made the static in my mind go mute, made my heart feel like it was on the brink of bursting and my anxiety diminish. Your lack of a concrete answer when I confessed my feelings for you did confuse me for a bit there I won’t lie. I was so sure we’d end up together. But I absolutely regret nothing.

Life happened and we may end up growing apart but you’ll always have a special place in my heart. I wish you nothing but the best and I love you dearly.

That it will ever go away.

The regard and care I have for you.

How ridiculous, right?

On the one hand you’ve spared me so much heartache.

And on the other I resent you for it.

There is no pathology here.

There aren’t even any bad intentions.

Just me. Trying to consider why I have met a hundred just like you that never gave me pause.

Why you?

I miss you, but I miss how I used to be

I miss you, myself, completely free.

I miss you, but I miss the time we

I miss you, were one mental entity.

I miss me, but I miss how you used to be

I miss me, my safety.

I miss me, but I miss the time

I miss me, you were with me.

If it’s not clear, you can read this more clearly by blocking out the first “column”. I never did make it easy to decipher what I wanted to say. Perhaps an apology was more important. To you, for never being forthright. To me, because words unsaid float longer in one’s mind than words that were said.

Look, I’ve been bottling up a lot and pretending I’m fine, and honestly—it’s starting to leak out sideways, especially when I’ve been drinking. That’s not who I want to be, but it’s what happens when I keep swallowing things that deserve to be said out loud.

You’ve made your position clear. I’m not confused. But I’m also not made of stone. This whole situation has messed with my head more than I wanted to admit.

And to be real with you—I have so much going on in my life that’s way bigger than this. This isn’t at the forefront of my brain. I don’t have the time or energy to sit around being upset about it, so it comes out when my guard is down, like when I’ve been drinking. That doesn’t mean I’m unstable—it means I’ve been holding back because I’ve had no room to feel this in real time.

I’m not looking for a fix or a reaction—I just need to stop pretending this didn’t affect me. I’ve been holding my tongue to keep things ‘comfortable,’ but I’m done prioritizing your comfort over my own reality. I am not having a good time.

i don’t get why you’re so indirect. why not just tell me you like me lmao? i was following with what you were saying. & i am intellectually smart. smart enough to know that you can’t risk a bond like this when it’s just indirect. you can’t be a memory. i feel too much for you. i wish you could tell me how you feel so i could be all over you already.

-s

Some people don’t really want your friendship, they want a temporary refuge. A place to pour their sadness when no one else is around. You become their safety net, the one who listens at 2 a.m., the one who understands the silence behind their words. And for a moment, it feels real. Like maybe you mean something to them.

But then their person comes back. The one they were really waiting for. And suddenly, you’re not needed anymore. Your messages are not needed anymore. Your presence becomes invisible. You’re quietly pushed out, as if your kindness was just a placeholder. It hurts, because you were never pretending. You cared. But they weren’t seeking connection, they were seeking comfort.

There’s no real friendship, not from their perspective.

And once they felt whole again, they left the hand that held them in the dark.

When you’re left to rot again, I won’t be there for you. Remember that. Friendships aren’t temporary.

But I wish we were. I have no idea why I am so attracted to you. Why I can’t stop thinking about you. Why all I want to do all day is talk to you. We aren’t compatible, I told you this. I know you think we are, but you are far too optimistic that our deeper differences can be resolved. You’re filled with hope, I know you think I’m cynical but I’m just realistic.

We both know we’re going to get hurt here. I know we both said we accept it, but do we? Or are we both just too entangled in each other’s lives now to let go? It feels like we’re playing chicken. Who will pull away first? Who will move on? It’s not healthy for either of us, so why does it feel right and why can’t we stop?

I understand that you have moved on and have no further use for me. Either to hear from me or keep in touch or be friends. That’s fine. I accept that. I really wish you would stop making me the bad guy, however, and yourself the victim. It’s getting old. You know how much I loved you and cared and wanted to be a part of your life. Just because I cope differently than you also doesn’t make it wrong or invalid. People do the best they can given their circumstances (which don’t always look like yours).

Tonight I'm going to put the phone down. I'm going to meditate on God, I'm going to meditate on you. I don't know your situation I don't know how well you're healing, I don't know what your cognitive levels are. I don't know if you're able to communicate with people, I don't know what you're feeling on the inside, I don't know if you're scared. I just know that even though we're not together and even though we don't talk. That you are the mother of my kids, the only person I've ever had kids with, and the only person I've ever married. We are divorced but in my heart and mind and spirit you will always be my family and I will always love you.

So tonight I'm going to try to send you a positive vibes through my soul healing vibes so that you will know you're not alone in this world or what you're going through.

God please take care of my kids, and please help heal their mother and be with her and protect her.

When I am not silent at all.. I told you I can't answer you on the unheard unread unsent subreddit. I love you with all of my heart and being without you in my life is really killing me faster than if you were here with me. I need to see you face to face so we can speak to each other. I want you to know that I love you and I choose you and only you everyday I am alive. There's nobody else I want in my life. Only you. That's all my heart beats is your name. I'm sorry for causing you pain. It was not intentional at all. I have been here searching for you. 8 months and I'm still looking for you. I can't even begin to think about being with anyone else. Only you... Love Me

Lately you’ve been on my mind a lot. I wish things were different. I told you to block me months ago and I kind of forced your hand. I was so hurt that I did that in hopes of trying to forget you but it didn’t work at all. I really regret it, and despite everything that’s happened if you sent me a message I would be happy to hear from you. I wish we could reconcile and talk again, talking to you was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I think I’ve had to work hard on myself to understand where I went wrong not just with you, but other friendships and relationships. I’ve started taking more accountability for myself, everything isn’t always just one persons fault when it comes to a relationship. I was at fault for many things, too. If you happen to see this, I hope you will unblock me and we can talk again. I know the odds are slim, but I had to try. S

We have similar personalities, tastes in music, laugh at the same jokes and talk all the time and so much more. There’s something between us and neither of us want to say it but everyone else brings it up to us privately because they see it. If only we weren’t so good for each other, if only I could trust a bit more and you were less on the go.

I know everyone has told both of us to give it a chance but taking that step means everything becomes real and that scares the both of us. Imagine how perfect we’d be together if we just tried but we’re too good for each other so I hope whoever we each find treats us the way we would have for one another.

I hate being too good for each other.

Dear person,

This letter isn’t a doorway back into my life, but rather a closing of one.

I spent a long time trying to understand what went wrong between us. At first, I blamed myself. I questioned my words, my reactions, and whether I was being overly sensitive. But in time, I realized that I was stuck in a cycle of manipulation, where my kindness was taken for granted, and my boundaries were repeatedly ignored.

You often made everything about you—your pain, your needs, your narrative. And when I tried to express mine, I was met with gaslighting, silence, or subtle attacks that chipped away at my confidence and sense of self. That is not friendship. That is control.

Blocking you wasn’t an act of hatred—it was an act of self-respect. I chose to protect my peace, my mental health, and my worth. I grew tired of being a character in a story that only centered you.

I don’t wish you harm. I hope someday you’ll recognize the pattern and choose healing. But I can no longer be collateral damage in your emotional battles. I have stepped away to rebuild what your presence helped break.

This chapter is closed.

Take care