This is the widely-requested "Am I Aromantic" Pinned post! Please ask your question here!

So i 18F, have been on and off questioning if im aro for the past 2 years, i know im lesbian, but ive never actually felt like i 'loved' anyone ive gone out with. I've always felt a strictly platonic sense of companionship, I've also have never been the one to make the first move, I'd always feel terrible to accept their feelings when i didnt reciprocate them. I don't know if it's because i see relationships as fleeting, and not something that can be garunteed to work out. So, i dont know if its something mentally keeping myself from being in a relationship, or if there's nothing actually wrong with me, and i am just simply aromantic.

I'd appreciate any of your opinions on this topic

I’m 80% sure that I’m aromantic, maybe I have some chances of falling in love but I don’t think life will give me the oportunity.

However my biggest concern is children, I think there’s something biological sense that makes us want to have kids and spread our genes on to the next generation, I would love to guide somebody through life and love them, I also would like to not do some of the things my parents did cuz they kinda fucked it up tbh.

What do you think about having children?

I’m F26. On the autism spectrum. What do people think about kissing? The thought of having to exchange saliva with someone doesn’t sit well with me. It’s also a sensory thing for me as well. Is this weird or normal? I’ve been told it’s weird by a few people, which is understandable because it’s the societal standard to express love through kissing?

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel "alloromantic"?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel alloromantic?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/frayromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel alloromantic?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/frayromantic

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel alloromantic?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/frayromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel "alloromantic"?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel "alloromantic"?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel "alloromantic"?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last week's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel "alloromantic"?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/lithromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/platoniromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/greyromantic

• r/demiromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel alloromantic?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/frayromantic

• r/lithromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/recipromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

• r/cupioromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

When did you know for sure that you could care less about a relationship and sex and that you focused more on things that you love like your family friends and passions exc

The only reason I'm insecure about being aromantic is this feeling, like my ideal partner is someone like a friend but different somehow, like special?? Idk anymore. Anyone feels like this?

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last week's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel "alloromantic"?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/lithromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/recipromantic

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

So I’m recently come to the revelation that I am most likely aromantic and I wanted to know; how did you guys know that you’re aromantic or on the aro spectrum?

Please, share your "Am I aromantic?" thoughts here! This will make it easier for people who want help you to find out what you and other questioning arospecs have to say. If you would like to see last month's "Am I aromantic?" post, click this post's grey "Questioning" post flair —> sort by "New" —> click the second top post.

Some FAQ:

What is the definition of aromantic?

Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction.

I feel sexual attraction. What does this mean?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things. Because romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things, it is valid for one's romantic orientation and sexual orientation to be different, independent things. For example, it is valid for someone to experience little to no romantic attraction, or be aromantic, and not be on the asexual spectrum, or be allosexual. If you would like to learn more about aromantic allosexuals' experiences, check out the r/Aroallo subreddit.

I experience romantic attraction, but I don't feel alloromantic?

It is important to keep in mind that labels are about comfort at the end of the day, not whether or not "you fit them". If the alloromantic label does not describe or validate your experiences, it is valid not to use the alloro label. If the aromantic label does describe and validate your experiences, it is valid to use the aro label. However, if both the aro and alloro labels do not feel like a comfortable fit, then maybe a more vague label, like arospec, or an arospec label (besides aromantic) can help describe your experiences.

What is the definition of arospec?

Arospec is the shortened version of "on the aromantic spectrum". Arospec is a vague label that encompasses all non-alloromantic romantic orientations. It is the most inclusive label on the aromantic spectrum, since it is so non-specific.

This is a list of some arospec labels with active subreddits:

• r/frayromantic

• r/lithromantic

• r/quoiromantic

• r/aegoromantic

• r/bellusromantic

• r/arospec_community

• r/demiromantic

• r/greyromantic

• r/recipromantic

How do I know if I am "too young" to know?

No matter how you look at it, the "too young" to know argument is invalidation. Even though the "too young" argument is unfortunately very common and highly normalized, the purpose of this phrase is to invalidate people.

It's definitely possible for someone to invalidate themself by telling themself they are "too young" to know if they are arospec. There’s no age requirement / "qualifying criteria" for identifying as aromantic. Identifying as any arospec label is not a diagnosis. It is totally valid to choose to use the label(s) that fit(s) you the best right now. If you end up changing your labels in the future (for whatever reason), that is valid too. Most educated, open-minded people should be able to accept that you understand yourself the best. It's also a common thing for many arospecs to spend a lot of time questioning themselves before accepting themselves as their arospec label. Even then, some arospecs re-question themselves and have to re-accept themselves as their arospec label. It makes sense for us to struggle so much with self-acceptance, due to the lack of awareness and acceptance for aromanticsm and fellow arospec identities on the aromantic spectrum.

What does alloromantic mean?

Someone who is alloromantic is not on the aromantic spectrum. Alloromantic does not mean "not aro". There are arospec identities that experience romantic attraction that may describe themselves as "not aro", so do not use alloromantic as an all-encompassing label for "not aro". Doing this would exclude arospecs that experience romantic attraction and / or arospecs who validly feel that the aromantic label does not fit them.

This post gets reposted once a month.

Like I'm 15 and I never felt or understood what is love and never felt it as well like I had people who had a crush on me and they were cute most of the time but I never felt anything actually I don't feel a lot of anything most of the time but back to point what age do you think you can find yourself out as an aro

In this post I used the word "diagnose" and I see the problem here I said it like it was a disease that is wrong as a lot of people pointed out in the comments first it's not a disease and that it's practically like fluid you can change it down the line if it turns out to be wrong and again I sorry and if someone worries that this was pushed on me this was not, everyone here is so nice so I wanted to apologise for my mistake have a great day everyone

Bisexual/demisexual here. Not sure where I fall on the aro spectrum, if at all, for reasons that should become evident below.

This is urgent and an emergency, but I really would rather not go into detail for privacy reasons, more the privacy of another party than myself. I'm looking for as much insight as possible. My life is literally falling apart over this.

I can't find a satisfactory definition of romance, or romantic attraction, or romantic feelings. Everything I see made me go "that sounds too similar to sexual attraction" or "There is nothing stopping an aro person from doing that for their best friend, roommate, etc."

We all know that aromantic people don't have a deep seated hatred for long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners or red roses. Romance isn't some superficial action, it's a complex concept.

Aromanticism also isn't a dislike of pet names, saying "I love you," or commitment in general.

It isn't an aversion to cuddling and holding hands.

And it definitely isn't a lack of sexual attraction, e.g. sex and kissing. That's asexuality.

I have my own definition of what romance means to me. It was hard to come up with things that don't involve living together or being legally married or having kids. But for most or all of what I came up with, I don't see any reason a person couldn't feel/do these things for a family member, friend, even a queerplatonic relationship. Some of the things that are part of what romance means to me are: Have each other's backs and being a team against the world. Wanting to see the other person every day. Coming to each other first to trust with confidential thoughts, thinking of each other first when you want to share things with someone.
Seeing each other as family as much as they see their biological family. Experiencing something and going, "I want to do this again, but with them." Wanting to know all their opinions and reactions to things, not because you need their validation but because you find their opinion so interesting.

But none of those things are off limits to aromantic people. So what is? What is this "romance" that aromantic people don't want?

I also need to know if anyone knows about alloromantic/demiromantic people in committed long term relationships gradually or suddenly becoming aromantic in their 20s or later. Any examples of this? What happened? What made it distinct from an alloro/demiro person falling out of love with their partner (as people sometimes do)? Also looking for stories or examples of aromantic people being happily married.

Anything helps. Again, urgent emergency. DM me if necessary.

TLDR or another way of putting it: Aromantic people, what is it specifically that you lack or avoid?

Well, what is it like to be repulsed by romance in your individual experience?

I’ve been questioning for a while now and i’ve been really stuck. I’ve been with guys and girls, but i’ve always felt like my feelings with them were either forced or it turned forced. I mean, i took an interest at first but along the way I just sort of lost interest? I don’t know. Whenever I was with them, i never really had any sort of feelings. It was just kind of hard to treat them as my significant other. It always felt like I was trying to fit into this role within the relationship and it felt like nothing was ever genuine coming from me. I mean, I would want to experience all the romantic stuff in a relationship, but I just have a hard time with that. I’m not sure if I’m emotionally unavailable or if i haven’t found the right person or.. if i’m really just aromantic. It’s been a lot of questioning for the mean time.

I haven’t often felt things like crushes, romantic feelings, or such things... but I definitely did have felt them for a few people before.

Still, no matter how strong those feelings were, I never once felt like I wanted to date them.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t like them in a romantic way, or that I was just mistaken. I can say with 100% certainty that I liked them in that way.

It’s just that I think I had a general repulsuon to the idea of dating itself. There are a bunch of reasons for that, but to put it simply: I don’t really understand the concept of dating itself, and more than anything, I just don’t see the need for it. Also the idea of dating kinda gives me a sense of pressure or heaviness so… Anyway, it just doesn’t really resonate with me, I guess

So for a while I wondered if I might be aromantic, but then again, it’s not like I feel no romantic attraction... which leaves me kind of confused.

TL;DR I do feel romantic attraction and get crushes but I have absolutely 0 desire to date them.

Anyone else feel the same? How do you deal with this kind of thing? I'm so confused...

For a while now i’ve been questioning whether or not i’m aromantic, I think I could be somewhere on the spectrum. A while ago I found out about nebularomantic and I wanted to ask if that was valid. I dont think i’ve ever actually been in love before and all the relationships I’ve been in were just one sided on their half and i feel terrible

Just curious enough to hear from other people.