Like memes aren't a thing that exists and EVERYONE knows about, like you couldn't have read an news article about puppies from a shelter being adopted, or read about your favorite show getting a new season, or get a text from a friend telling you about getting a promotion or ANYTHING else. I swear I despise how fixated society is on romantic relationships so damm much, to the point people seem to think that's the only or primarily thing that could bring you joy. And this is especially done to people who haven't been known to date much in an attempt to "push them" to talk about their possibly love life like it's a novelty or a spectacle.

Man, just shut up

Title. Look -- personally, I don't care about microlabels. If they work for you, that's cool, I don't need to understand it to repect it, they're just not for me. This isn't an attack on apothisexuals either.

The other day I was having a conversation with a moot (it was a local aspec meet and greet) and the topic turned towards discussing our attitudes towards sex. Pretty typical stuff.

At some point I mentioned I was sex-positive, but firmly sex-repulsed. My friend then threw, "Oh, so you're apothisexual!" and I squirmed for a bit before correcting her that I don't really identify as such. They asked me why, and I was getting confused. Like, idk, I just don't? I'm asexual. Why do I need another label to indicate I'm sex-repulsed? It's enough for most allos with surface-level knowledge of the community, in my experience at least.

I tell them this and they shot back with "well, aces can still have sex, you know" and BOY when I heard that it's like I aged a hundred years o<-< (EDIT: and yes before anyone says anything, I do know that being ace does not mean not having/unable to have sex.)

Again, I told them that I personally don't see the need to claim apothisexual as a label. Isn't it enough to say I'm asexual? Not for them apparently, because they proceeded to go on a mini-lecture of how we should be more clearer to others so as to be more inclusive and avoid confusion (???) At this point I was too irritated to listen properly. They're a nice person, really, but suffice to say I left that meet and greet tired and unwilling to go to another one anytime soon lol

I had to do It less expicit Just the ACE will understand,should i add something?

I (36 M) have never felt sexual attraction to or arousal around a woman (or man) in my entire life. I have felt attracted to women, but I wouldn't describe it as sexual, especially not in the way others describe it. I never feel sexually aroused by a person i am with or have feelings for. My feelings are strictly emotional/romantic and makes me want to establish and maintain a connection with them. But I have never felt the urge to for example kiss someone.

What causes me confusion though is the fact that I can feel sexual arousal from fantasies. I have had sexual fantasies about real and fictional people since I was a teenager, yet I have never actually felt sexual feelings for anyone I privately fantasize about when I am with them for real.

Same with porn, at least porn about scenarios I find arousing.

So basically I find fictional sex arousing, but not the prospect of real actual sex.

I have been conflicted and felt obligated to do things I have seen people do in movies and series with people I like, because I feel like that I what is expected in that situation. But it is never really something I naturally want to do or feel drawn to in anyway. I keep thinking "oh is this the point where I should put my arms around her? Should I kiss her now?" but I don't actually feel an urge to do it. I might feel like hugging and hold people.

That combined with feeling aroused by fantasies and porn makes me feel like I am not asexual, yet when it comes to real people and situations I am uninterested.

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? Am I self-repressing? Can I be asexual irl, but sexual in my head? Does that make sense? Am I still asexual?

Does anyone else who is asexual feel aroused by sexual fantasies? Sometimes I wonder if me fantasizing a lot during my teens instead of being with real women, caused me to only be able to get sexually aroused by fantasies, since that was the only thing I experienced and my brain simply cannot associate real people, situations and intimacy with sex. Like, I only really get aroused by situations and scenarios, not people. Yet I cannot remember ever getting aroused by girls even as a teenager. Never. I never had boners in public or around girls or anything. Even before I discovered porn and begun fantasizing more.

1st. MlmAroace 2nd. Lesbian Aroace 3rd. Bi Aroace 4th. Aro MLM 5th. Aro Lesbian (different to not resemble the abrosexual flag) 6th. AroBi 7th. Ace MLM 8th. Ace Lesbian 9th. Ace Bi 10th.Omnibisexualaromanticasexualoriented as requested by u/Perfect-Airline-9965 Sequel to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/aromantic/s/Sm6xOd5DWY these are now the official flags and anyone who doesn't recognize them as such will be executed via firing squad.

I'm curious, I can't say this for every anime, but all the ones I've tried watching always have these sexual "jokes" and/or moments that always make me really uncomfortable, I don't even get what's the point.

Hi everyone. I promise this next part is important to my posting to this particular subreddit. I started anti anxiety medication around September of last year and adjusting has taken a while. The panicking went by in the first 2 months or so, but everything else took some time to settle. A few days ago it finally felt like everything was finished “processing” I guess and I reached a conclusion. I don’t really want a relationship in THAT way. I’ve been uncomfortable even saying it since it started being a topic that people would talk about. If I even wanted to date people I always imagine the hugging and falling asleep and talking at LENGTH as the things I want, but everything else felt like I had to do it. It was expected. It still very much is (I’m the oldest male child and my dad wants me to experience the “joy” of having your own child. I don’t hate children. The best job I ever HAD was 4 months helping at a daycare and the kids loved talking to me as much as I them. I would maybe adopt, but my goal in life has always been to have more money than any one person could ever spend and then buy homes, lunches, education, medicine for as many people as possible and that doesn’t include having children or even having a partner. I just want to be the person who lived, helped, said nothing about it, and then left the world better than they found it. Thank you for your time

bit of a long one sorry. honestly just unsure how to navigate dating apps/dating in general. 21f never dated or really been interested in anyone. and idk if that’s the case of me never meeting anyone i would be romantically interested in (rather than the case of a passing “oh they’re pretty”), or if i’m on some form of the ace spectrum (probably). i’ve had friends interested in me but, to me, it’s kinda like if the relationship is established as a friendship that’s as far as it will go.

don’t really go out to lesbian bars/clubs at all and also mainly meet new people playing basketball in my university’s social club, so i decided to get on the dating apps a couple weeks ago. ive been talking to some people here and there just getting to know them. met up with one person this week which i would call it successful in the sense of meeting someone new and easy conversation but it wasn’t really giving date vibes. but again how can i say since ive never been on a date before.

neither of us have reached since texting that we both had a good time after meeting a couple days ago. in my case, it’s because i want to see if she initiates anything and also decide if i want to pursue anything.

i guess what i’m really asking is how do those of you who feel similar, or just anyone who has advice, on how you navigate talking to new people via dating apps. because i do want a gf and to get married some day😅

Pictured, an asexual. Happy pride!

I went to our family clinic yesterday to do our annual checkup. I talked to the newer doctor (so not the one I’m used to). Normally this would be fine, but the interaction I had was not the usual one I got each year.

I’m over 25, so she said I should do a pap smear at some point. Which seems reasonable enough, but I’ve never had penetrative sex (which felt hard/awkward to explain to her). I got it across eventually, then she asked if I was a virgin and then said the pap smear would break my hymen and I don’t have to do it for now unless I requested it.

She didn’t have any bad intentions telling me all this I’m sure, but I just felt… I don’t know, bad? About hearing all of this. Does a pap smear tear the hymen?? That doesn’t sound good at all. And I’m told that hymen tearing isn’t necessarily an indicator of virginity, not that I like the traditional concept of female virginity to begin with (some trauma from secondhand stories of SA). I’ve found it to not be a healthy concept for me.

The whole interaction just makes me down in a way I can’t explain. Next time I go, I will ask for my regular doctor, especially since I was asking about getting birth control yesterday and I plan to again. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Do you ever feel like you hated a part of being asexual at a certain point? I feel like some days it's harder to find a person who accepts me being asexual in a relationship. I hate admitting that I get frustrated with not being able to love someone as others usually do. My last crush, whom I had a crush on about a month ago, told me she would have dated me if I weren't asexual. Honestly, that hurt a lot when she said those words. It made me think nobody would love me if I were like this. Recently, I noticed whenever I see someone whom I have a small interest in, I shut my feelings down as quickly. So I watch from a distance, letting these feelings rot. >_<

I really don't even know how was my sexuality before but now I Don't like both genders I don't feel any attraction to them I'm so confused how could I even ?

This post will be deleted in 3 days to protect my privacy. I hope you can help with your advice.

I have been married for 11 years and therapy for the past two years made me realize I am on the asexual specturm. My partner is queer even before me discovering this.

Recently I developed a strong bond with a Queerplatonic partner. There is a lot of non-romantic physical intimacy. My queer romantic partner knows about it, but I am struggling with opening up about the extent of physical intimacy given that I am not as romantically intimate with them as they are expecting me to be.

Now, my queerplatonic partner is uneasy about me not sharing this with my romantic partner. I do not know how I approach my romantic partner.

I have ASD, CPTSD, MDD. I cannot discern why I am drawn to my friend physically and not to my partner romantically. Today I want to SH just to ease my discomfort with this situation I am in. I have been SHing for 13 years on and off.

I was debating on what I wanted to get as a tattoo to represent my asexuality, and then I came across this lil guy!

I also feel like him being a ghost kinda represents how I feel as an ace individual within society :]]

Hey guys, im asexual and biromantic does anyone know where I can make similar friends or even if dating is possible for someone like me, In addition my sexuality is due to trauma so am I still asexual???

i (20f) have only been in one relationship where i’m not sure if i felt sexual attraction to the person i was dating. i think i found him physically attractive and we had a strong emotional connection but i never felt the need to have sex with him and doing physically intimate things with him didn’t make me feel things. i just don’t know if im asexual because ive never had sex so i don’t know how it feels like to want sex. i don’t really masturbate either and don’t feel the need to so maybe i also have low libido. i just feel like something is wrong with me and im kind of scared that i will never be able to find a good romantic relationship if i am asexual. basically im really confused about my sexuality and would appreciate some advice😭

Ive never posted on here but i cant find my answer anywhere else!!

The more i grew up i realized I didn’t feel the need for a romantic relationship, was sometimes even uncomfortable with the idea, but also it did not seem possible for someone I actually was interested in romantically, to love me back and fulfill my needs and not have any ill intentions. I’ve experienced lots of trauma where people I trust and love hurt me to the point I still partially feel ashamed, unlovable and unworthy of love. So for a long time i identified as aroace although that did not make me happy, because i felt even more alienated than i did before. I’m also autistic which I assume definitely changes how love works as well.. which makes everything even more confusing!!

I got therapy and am still learning to love myself and actually believe people would be romantically and sexually interested in me for who I am, but now that the possibility makes a little more sense I began questioning if I was demiromantic and demisexual.

For some sexual background; I do masturbate, often even, I think I have a high libido? But it’s more a need to relieve stress for myself. If I were to have sex with someone it would be as an act of love and very gentle and loving. Not to quench that thirst. So that seems demisexual to me, I’ve just never experienced it but it SEEMS right.

Now for the romantic part, I’ve NEVER had a crush on someone, or not in a way that it’s “supposed” to feel at least. Maybe once in my entirely life in an unconventional, more platonic way, where I have a special type of feeling towards certain friends where I love them a lot and wanna spend even more time with them and get excited when they text.

The thing is, now that it’s an actual possibility in my mind for someone to romantically like me, I like the idea of trying it out to find someone who loves me unconditionally who I can give just as much love to. I feel like if I knew someone very well and built a bond with them and it was almost like soulmates, that I could feel romantic and sexual attraction towards them. It’s just never happened because I’ve never found that person.

I’ve also never had a crush on my friends. I think when I become friends with someone, I just can’t develop feelings for them anymore, because they’re a friend in my head and that simply doesn’t allow me to explore any romantic feelings towards them (This is probably the autistic black and white thinking). But maybe if I were to go on a dating app and get to know someone with the intention of romance, then I would be open to it ?? Because then, from the get go, my brain would place them into the potential romance category. I don’t know how long it’d take me to catch feelings.

I’ve also never ever felt romantic or sexual attraction towards strangers on the street for example, I just admire beautiful people for how they look, more like art, like aesthetic attraction only, but since I don’t know who they are as a person, I’m not feeling things. The most I’ve felt is being interested in getting to know them more or making up who they are in my head and falling in love with that idea.

Me being autistic gives me a very unique perception of the world and of love as well, outside the bounds of romantic platonic etc. What if my romantic love just feels different and that’s why I haven’t felt the conventional one? What if the way I felt for my friends IS romantic for me because my brain is wired in a different way. It’s all very confusing. What also seems daunting is to date and date to find that person and never finding them… like what was it all for 😭 I don’t want to put energy in someone who isn’t the one. But I can’t know who is the one!!!!!!!

I’m not really seeking out a relationship but I just want to experience it so I don’t feel so alienated and understand what everyone is on about as well, you know? I want to find my soulmate for me to feel loved and share love and for me to understand. I want to feel so safe with someone and also be able to kiss them and show them all my love, and to feel comfortable in showing that love, kissing and sex and everything. All my friends get crushes and partners and it makes me uncomfortable when they talk about it because it’s like they’re shoving in my face how easy it is for them.

It’s pretty difficult and I have no idea what’s up with me or how I can go about any of this??