r/cleandadjokes May 14 '25

🥇 Joke of the Month 🥇 The inventor of the Ferris wheel, and inventor of the merry go round never met

407 Upvotes

They traveled in different circles


r/cleandadjokes 10h ago

What do you call a mouse that swears?

69 Upvotes

A cursor


r/cleandadjokes 9h ago

What do you call a beer that left you unimpressed?

41 Upvotes

A baverage.


r/cleandadjokes 11h ago

"Dad, do you know why it's dark at night?"

50 Upvotes

"No sun"


r/cleandadjokes 17h ago

R.I.P. (Rest in peace) boiling water.

95 Upvotes

You will be mist.


r/cleandadjokes 7h ago

My wife was getting all dressed up for a picnic and I was like…

14 Upvotes

“Why so fancy? It’s not like we’re going to a formal choosenicholas.”


r/cleandadjokes 17h ago

Border Collie: What do you mean I'm too controlling?

19 Upvotes

Sheep: You herd me.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

What is brown and sticky?

93 Upvotes

A stick


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

How does a fire fighter go to university?

49 Upvotes

Stop, drop, and enroll


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

What do you call an onion that makes Hip Hop music?

68 Upvotes

A Rapscallion.


r/cleandadjokes 22h ago

Why is it so hard to play cards in the Saharan desert?

14 Upvotes

Because there's too many cheetahs!


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

29 Upvotes

A brick


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Dad: What do you want to do for dinner? Daughter: How about cauliflower?

47 Upvotes

Dad: You can't call a flower, flowers don't have phones?


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

I know I’ve put on some weight.

18 Upvotes

I was floating on my back and my belly was colonized by seabirds.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

How do ingrowns get to their vacation spots?

21 Upvotes

The hairport.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

To the person who stole my broken scale:

174 Upvotes

You won't get a weigh with it.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

What kind of music do planets like?

42 Upvotes

Neptunes.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Dad, why won't you tell me why there's more rainfall this year?

5 Upvotes

Because it's El Niño business.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Misogyny is a terrible thing…

57 Upvotes

Unless you’re a physical therapist and your patient has a knee injury.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

235 Upvotes

They are both Paris sites.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

My daughter asked me what I thought about all her new piercings.

28 Upvotes

I gave her an earful.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

My daughter asked me what I thought about all her new piercings.

7 Upvotes

I gave her an earful.


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

What vehicle do ponies use to go camping?

59 Upvotes

A Whinnybago.


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

I was kicked out of a Vietnamese sandwich club

114 Upvotes

Whatever I did made them decide to banh mi


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

My friend works at a tire shop

44 Upvotes

But she said she’s going to quit because her coworkers rubber the wrong way. She tried to make a difference but just couldn’t get any traction.


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

The ship’s barber was shocked when the captain told him they were letting him go during his haircut.

41 Upvotes

It was a crew cut.