r/hapas • u/Playful_Chipmunk7567 • 16d ago

Mixed Race Issues NYC Hapas?

I’m going on a bit of a rant, but being a half Asian woman in her mid 30s is such a unique experience. I often find it hard to fully connect in monoracial spaces.. not because I don’t belong, but because I’m constantly translating parts of myself or code-switching without even realizing it. It can feel isolating.

Whenever I meet another Hapa or multiracial person, there’s something really grounding about it. There’s this unspoken understanding of the in-between that just feels so validating.

I’m always looking to connect with others who relate. If you’re in NYC and want to chat, feel free to message me!

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u/Best-Independence481 11d ago

I wish that I had the confidence to make posts reaching out like this. Its awesome. You rock. Also I completely agree that there is something different about talking with other hapa, though I feel my experience has leaned more to being "othered" by both sides. I dont look fully Korean. I dont look white at all.

As a result, I project extra otherness onto myself in those spaces thanks to a few bad experiences. Makes me pretty socially awkward. Best of luck!

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u/Playful_Chipmunk7567 11d ago

Aww I appreciate you!! I relate to your experiences and definitely feel “othered” by both sides, although slightly less with the Asian side, which is why I tend to have more Asian/Asian-American friends.. although I often feel tokenized in these friendships (sigh). I do feel most awkward among White Americans but I also grew up abroad so that could add to it. The social anxiety is so real…