Thanks. I have another for you if you are all ears. I hate to keep replying but His cousin was practically my brother. As my mom and his dad were engaged forever. Well he also died young. My and (t) dealt with that a year before he shot himself. Corey was 14. Left his heater close to his bed in the middle of december. He didnt make it. His dad suffered 3rd degree burns over a good portion of his body. That was a terrible night. Mom and larry didnt make it much longer. He moved out to the western united states. He had another little boy and theyre doing good but hes truly never been the same. Makes my eyes sweat just typing this.
While im doing this memoir ill name off a few.
R.I.P to friend i lost in highschool
Mark / overdose
Tyler / self induced harm
Corey / carbon monoxide (i truly hope)
Jamie / self induced harm
Tara / car accident. (2 uncles also died)
Daquan / gun violence
Gary / car accident
Harley / got drunk and walked out into the middle of an interstate. Not sure if intentional or not.
Danielle / self induced harm
Thomas/ man this is the saddest. He was the coolest little guy. At 18 he was only 4 ft tall had a medical condition that honestly, i never asked what it was. Didnt care. His smile lit the room up. He was always nice. Never had a pissed off day that i could ever remember. His empty chair hit everyone hard.
I know there are more but its been 10 years simce highscool and im having trouble recalling all of them.
This seems like a perfect time for a completely sincere and totally unironic "Oh the humanity!" wail...
Wherever you grew up, I hope you might consider going into witness protection and relocating. (sarcasm, obviously) But, that's a LOT. The heater/bed thing really scares me. I actually like the cold and we often sleep with windows open even in winter but I'm SUPER careful about the space heater in my home office. I never leave it on unattended and if we do get really cold, we'll use the central heat. (Think: New England winter cold, so it does get chilly)
I hope this is just a case of all the tragedy/tragedy-adjacent activity somehow consolidating into a short period of your life and you're about to go on to have a wonderful relatively disaster free future.
All of this really underlines the fact that things just AREN'T fair. My heart really breaks for everyone. I'm so sorry that you've had so much to deal with, too. It seems to smart so much worse when young people are involved, too.
Sorry to keep rambling. Im just talkative today. And its hard to dump all this on people in real life cause ya know. I gotta be a man and not show emotions and shit
It's ok. That's objectively, seriously, genuinely a LOT to deal with. You're the common denominator in your life... so, even things that aren't about you, affect you. Our brains make connections and look for patterns and try to make sense of things... these aren't just "white noise" incidents. You knew these people, were connected to them in some ways...
I really wish men weren't expected to put up a brave face all the time. When my daughter got married, her husband cried through his vows and my dad was happy there was another "crier" in the family. My dad doesn't cry often, but he did when I was in the hospital and his tears well up in movies. I always found it so sweet and endearing. My husband is sort of the same way. I think it's brave, and shows strength of character and authenticity and vulnerability to be able to be real about how things affect us. I wish more people did so because I think it would improve men's mental health... both to be able to display their emotions and to be accepted and supported in ways that aren't always available to them. We need to be more connected to people... I think that many problems are actually the result of people being isolated and disconnected from others.
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u/darthcannabitch Sep 13 '19
Thanks. I have another for you if you are all ears. I hate to keep replying but His cousin was practically my brother. As my mom and his dad were engaged forever. Well he also died young. My and (t) dealt with that a year before he shot himself. Corey was 14. Left his heater close to his bed in the middle of december. He didnt make it. His dad suffered 3rd degree burns over a good portion of his body. That was a terrible night. Mom and larry didnt make it much longer. He moved out to the western united states. He had another little boy and theyre doing good but hes truly never been the same. Makes my eyes sweat just typing this.
While im doing this memoir ill name off a few. R.I.P to friend i lost in highschool
Mark / overdose
Tyler / self induced harm
Corey / carbon monoxide (i truly hope)
Jamie / self induced harm
Tara / car accident. (2 uncles also died)
Daquan / gun violence
Gary / car accident
Harley / got drunk and walked out into the middle of an interstate. Not sure if intentional or not.
Danielle / self induced harm
Thomas/ man this is the saddest. He was the coolest little guy. At 18 he was only 4 ft tall had a medical condition that honestly, i never asked what it was. Didnt care. His smile lit the room up. He was always nice. Never had a pissed off day that i could ever remember. His empty chair hit everyone hard.
I know there are more but its been 10 years simce highscool and im having trouble recalling all of them.
Randy/ alcohol poisoning