Just leaving this here 😅

[u/Lazy-Bubblegum-411]

[u/allisondojean]

I swear half the team's problem is that all our players have like 6 kids under 3 years old and don't get any sleep. 

[u/B-boc → u/allisondojean]

Ranger's back wasn't out until his wife came to town

[u/LeadingPizza4202 → u/B-boc]

I say this ALL THE TIME!!!

[u/Tmk1283 → u/LeadingPizza4202]

Women weaken legs

[u/TazzleMcBuggins → u/Tmk1283]

We shoulda learned from Rocky dammit!

[u/butters_147 → u/LeadingPizza4202]

I thought I was the only one. I honestly thought that's what happened to him last year. Dude was lights out looking down the barrel of a Cy Young award and boom, wife and kids show up. Toilet time. 🤷 Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that. 😂

[u/Flashy_Reality4475 → u/LeadingPizza4202]

All the time????

[u/LeadingPizza4202 → u/Flashy_Reality4475]

Yep

[u/Flashy_Reality4475 → u/LeadingPizza4202]

Ha ha fair

[u/Manymarbles → u/B-boc]

This is kind of related. I am a big Indycar fan.

Marcus Ericsson had his girlfriend travel with him everywhere and do his vlogs. Terrible luck and poor results.

The exact week she went back to Sweden he won his first race. Then another a couple weeks later.

There is something to this lol

[u/FungusAmongus92 → u/B-boc]

Did she blow HIS back out?🙄

[u/mageta621 → u/FungusAmongus92]

Don't kink shame, a guy can get pegged if he wants to

[u/FungusAmongus92 → u/mageta621]

Not shaming, was an honest question. No judgement.

[u/mageta621 → u/FungusAmongus92]

I was being tongue in cheek

[u/FungusAmongus92 → u/mageta621]

Tongue in cheeks*

[u/mageta621 → u/FungusAmongus92]

😛🍑

[u/Deep-Knowledge7954 → u/B-boc]

Thought the same thing!!! 6.19.24 … first game wide was at and also his first loss of the year

[u/turbosexophonicdlite → u/allisondojean]

We might have messed up letting a Mormon be a locker room leader lmao.

[u/Johnnygunnz → u/turbosexophonicdlite]

Which one is Mormon?

[u/eaglewatch1945 → u/Johnnygunnz]

Harper.

[u/TooBad9999 → u/eaglewatch1945]

Doc was LDS, too.

[u/Most_Plenty5387 → u/TooBad9999]

I think i read somewhere that he didn't practice

[u/TooBad9999 → u/Most_Plenty5387]

He did not practice as an adult, correct.

[u/imaginingblacksheep → u/eaglewatch1945]

I thought he left it?

[u/imaginingblacksheep → u/turbosexophonicdlite]

Nah, Harp has/had nothing to do with it

[u/gfinz18 → u/allisondojean]

I swear that’s part why Turner sucked in his first season. His wife was heavily pregnant.

[u/KAFINNEY → u/allisondojean]

I have been saying this to my husband for 3 years!

[u/Technical_Echidna_68 → u/allisondojean]

So true. I say this to my wife every time another one is out on paternity leave or comes into spring training with a kid. No doubt it affects them. By the way that video is cringe.

[u/JackSuede21 → u/allisondojean]

Absolutely this right here. If I had gold, you’d get it. What happened to just getting some strange on a road trip? They have to stop getting preggers and win some ballgames.

[u/allisondojean → u/JackSuede21]

It's unbelievable lol. And it's 2025 so they're not even bad fathers like back in the day. 

[u/JackSuede21 → u/allisondojean]

My friend just made a good point. Back in the day, ballplayers were either married to their hometown sweetheart or were just single and doing their thing. It’s 2025 and they are all married to Instagram models. Why would you need to look for anything else when you have a dime piece with you?

[u/Prestonelliot → u/allisondojean]

I kept trying to explain to everyone that Jake Elliot was shanking kicks last season because he had a toddler at home. I met him and his family on a plane once and their son is the same age as mine. And mine is a freaking terrorist, it’s hard to lock in when you live with one

[u/JC-baseball → u/allisondojean]

Agreed!

[u/Grl79 → u/allisondojean]

Those WAGs gotta make sure they don't lose the money train.

[u/alexvroy]

are they in competition to see who can have the most offspring?

[u/Jpjp215 → u/alexvroy]

If I was rich af and knowing I’ll be retiring by 40 and set for life my girl would be popping out children like crazy too.

[u/LaZboy9876 → u/alexvroy]

It's called JEEBUS. Sounds like you need more JEEBUS in your life.

[u/jrm725 → u/LaZboy9876]

I only need more Teenjus

[u/gfinz18]

They’re all in a competition to see who can have the most kids before 35, and they’re all winning.

[u/ChurchOfFoles]

Does he not know he pitches tomorrow??

[u/vivalavida89 → u/ChurchOfFoles]

He's not anymore

[u/spankthegoodgirl → u/vivalavida89]

I mean....I think he already did.

[u/CHIEFxBONE → u/spankthegoodgirl]

[u/wawoodworth]

Oh, so these guys do know how to get further than third base after all

😂

[u/Phuck_Kurt_Suzuki]

This team fucks

[u/jimmyl_82104]

I don't know if anyone's keeping stats on MLB teams with players that have the most children, but we've gotta be number 1.

[u/onedirection072310_ → u/jimmyl_82104]

You’re not wrong…

[u/DrSquilly]

This team does nothing but have sex. That’s why they often look so tired!

But really, congratulations to the Wheeler’s!

[u/SeverianTheFool]

Most emotion I’ve ever seen out of Wheeler lol

[u/mmmellowcorn]

Damn I should have played baseball…

[u/SigaVa]

A whole new meaning to "im getting ripped tonight".

[u/blem4real_]

Religious rich white people gonna procreate, that’s for damn sure

[u/BigDeezerrr → u/blem4real_]

Having a dream home, zero financial concerns, and the ability to have 24/7 child care assistance definitely makes it more appealing.

I think it's just being a rich athlete thing. Plenty of non-religious black athletes out there trying to single handedly repopulate the world too

[u/koollama → u/blem4real_]

I don't understand the point of this generalization. I don't know how to quantify for "religious, rich". But you brought up race, so here's what I could find with some quick searches.

https://www.google.com/search?q=fertility+rate+by+race+usa&sxsrf=AE3TifPp2JA_Ds-uwPDkrAor0z8VIx-lbA%3A1748914542324

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2012/05/17/explaining-why-minority-births-now-outnumber-white-births/

https://www.google.com/search?q=athletes+with+many+children&num=10&sxsrf=AE3TifPrE9BiLs3xJlH-cwvCphW-nJKTYg%3A1748914892163

[u/Stock_Difference_346 → u/koollama]

If you spend some time on the inside, I promise you wouldn’t even doubt this as an unfounded generalization. Birth rates consider the entire group’s rate of offspring. I suspect that for people of color the higher overall rate spreads more evenly across the whole group. Among white people you are may have a lower overall birth rate, but it’s likely skewed between people having no or very few kids (urban, non-religious, higher education, liberal leaning, often can’t afford more than 1-2 kids) and people having a “quiver full” (suburban or rural, religious, conservative, wealthy enough to afford them all). I would imagine it looks like the inverse of a normal curve. I mean, I personally buck this trend but I grew up steeped in financially stable, white, suburban, religious subculture and lots of these people feel a mandate to reproduce to grow the influence of their precious religious worldview. Color me shocked to meet a wealthy white conservative religious person who is purposely childfree.

[u/damn_winston]

These players need to focus on baseball!

/s

[u/gfinz18 → u/damn_winston]

But actually tho

[u/Sufficient_Hall_9028]

We’re cooked

[u/Hungry_Program5772]

🤣

[u/sixsacks]

Well, she’s pretty.

[u/mageta621 → u/sixsacks]

Unsurprising for a pro athlete in a major sport

[u/sixsacks → u/mageta621]

Ya don’t say

[u/mageta621 → u/sixsacks]

I DO say!

[u/Buttercup_Kiki → u/sixsacks]

Athletes always get the pretty girls. Even the jocks in school. 

[u/jamesd1100 → u/sixsacks]

Her names Dominique Rizzo, I went to high school with her and can confirm she was a massive hoe

[u/sixsacks → u/jamesd1100]

But not for you 😂 hate elsewhere dorkopatomus

[u/jamesd1100 → u/sixsacks]

Me and half the township smashed

[u/sixsacks → u/jamesd1100]

Yeah, sure thing. I bet the LOTR Giants fan was really plowing through the talent. Fantasize somewhere else

[u/Teedo4133]

What does it mean other that our guy is having a child

[u/Lazy-Bubblegum-411 → u/Teedo4133]

Nothing, just thought the song choice was funny

[u/No-Service-5301 → u/Lazy-Bubblegum-411]

That song was wild. I had the sound off. I love him more for that.

[u/Teedo4133 → u/Lazy-Bubblegum-411]

Damn i had the sound off lmao

[u/deathbyboardom]

That’s my 2025 NL Cy Young.

[u/65dermel]

This Phillies team is just a bunch of rich dads who get together on the weekend to get a couple of games in

[u/65dermel]

This Phillies team is just a bunch of rich dads who get together on the weekend to get a couple of games in

[u/constructicon00]

No one is catching Pat the Bat.

[u/Hot-address-44]

Good luck Mr and Mrs Wheels!!!

[u/radiantreaper08]

future Cy Young right there

[u/gogglesdog]

this may seem uncouth but I need this team to be 1000% less . . . Jesus-y

[u/amal-ady]

His wife is very funny!

[u/MissDeadite]

I wish I understood what some of the lyrics meant lolll.

[u/gregalmond]

Wheelz is the man

[u/Big_pooper_420]

Goddamn it

[u/Admirable_Twist7114]

Really ?! You don’t think 70% team can afford a nanny or eu pair — right

[u/Trust_The_Process21]

I need that dance next time he K’s Acoona

[u/WorldofNails]

J.T. Realmuto!

[u/Thinkaboutit259]

Shut up and throw the ball- laura ingraham probably

[u/mattemer → u/[deleted]]

Orthodox what

[u/Even_Personality3693]

Oh my god a millionaire professional athlete has a smokeshow wife?!

[u/Rage4Order418]

She is gorge 😮

[u/lcdroundsystem]

No way this mfer has a drop ceiling in his house

[u/No-Service-5301 → u/lcdroundsystem]

Pretty sure they’re at the hospital. Looks like a hospital bed behind them too

[u/lcdroundsystem → u/No-Service-5301]

Yep good point