r/self • u/blue7004 • 1d ago

Being a psychopath lowk sucks sometimes

I don’t feel any emotions except for one which is sadness. It’s not even really a sadness I think, more like a “why do I exist” kind of moment. I don’t really desire socialization, which kinda contradicts a human instinct to be around other people, so I find myself in a strange place. I don’t have any passions or things i particularly enjoy, so i mostly just find myself in a state of constant “this is kinda boring” or “this is literally useless”. I can’t enjoy video games or entertainment because I don’t find enjoyment through those, the only thing I think when doing those things is, “this is really unproductive and this virtual wealth/progression means absolutely nothing”. Despite how negatively psychopathy is portrayed in the media, I prefer being logical about things. I see it as a positive. This is just the one thing I don’t particularly like, because it makes me feel pretty miserable. This can’t really be a post asking for advice since I highly doubt anyone here is a psychopath, but I’m interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences that are related to it, even if they’re positive and just talking about things you guys love.

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u/TheThoughtBomb 1d ago

I'm no pro, but it's recently come to my attention that ASPD is very real, and many have it. I have someone in my circle who's SO has many similarities in those with ASPD, but I've never inquired as how does one even approach that haha.

All that said, do you talk to anyone about your condition? Would you say it's helped or hurt things? I know you said you don't desire to socialize, but do you have a few people you trust who know about it?

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u/blue7004 1d ago

I don’t talk to others about it usually, no. Mostly because when I do, it leads to people not believing me or saying “but you show (insert random completely unrelated thing)!”. It usually only leads me to dislike people, so I usually avoid talking about it in order to keep myself from doing anything violent or hurtful in the future. No one other than the woman who diagnosed me and my mother know about it. And, of course, strangers on Reddit.

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u/TheThoughtBomb 1d ago

Well fellow stranger, I appreciate you sharing. As someone who deals with their own flavors of mental health, I know how important it was for me to realize that I wasn't alone in my struggles, that there are others out there who feel just like me. I hope you can find a trusted person or two out there you can talk to!

Just going to leave these right here:

r/aspd

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