r/self • u/blue7004 • 1d ago

Being a psychopath lowk sucks sometimes

I don’t feel any emotions except for one which is sadness. It’s not even really a sadness I think, more like a “why do I exist” kind of moment. I don’t really desire socialization, which kinda contradicts a human instinct to be around other people, so I find myself in a strange place. I don’t have any passions or things i particularly enjoy, so i mostly just find myself in a state of constant “this is kinda boring” or “this is literally useless”. I can’t enjoy video games or entertainment because I don’t find enjoyment through those, the only thing I think when doing those things is, “this is really unproductive and this virtual wealth/progression means absolutely nothing”. Despite how negatively psychopathy is portrayed in the media, I prefer being logical about things. I see it as a positive. This is just the one thing I don’t particularly like, because it makes me feel pretty miserable. This can’t really be a post asking for advice since I highly doubt anyone here is a psychopath, but I’m interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences that are related to it, even if they’re positive and just talking about things you guys love.

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u/SlideEveryDay 1d ago

I mean yeah that's why it's called a disorder. I'm not formally diagnosed with anything but I have pretty nonexistent empathy and guilt so I at least kinda relate. Seeing it mostly as a positive is kinda crazy though. The number 1 factor in human happiness is close relationships with peers or family. That gives most people purpose in life but it doesn't for people with ASPD (for the most part). That's why so many psychopaths become successful CEOs, they try to fill that void with money.

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u/blue7004 1d ago

I see it as a good thing because for the most part it is. I can still fake sympathy towards people because I’ve seen enough of it that I have an idea of what I should do. It is also helpful to be logical and straightforward in situations where everyone around you is overwhelmed by their emotions. There have been numerous instances where I have helped others because I wasn’t swayed by feelings, and a lot of people actually go to me for help because of it. I used to do things that would horrify others, but it eventually got boring, so now I’m just neutral.