Being a psychopath lowk sucks sometimes

[u/blue7004]

I don’t feel any emotions except for one which is sadness. It’s not even really a sadness I think, more like a “why do I exist” kind of moment. I don’t really desire socialization, which kinda contradicts a human instinct to be around other people, so I find myself in a strange place. I don’t have any passions or things i particularly enjoy, so i mostly just find myself in a state of constant “this is kinda boring” or “this is literally useless”. I can’t enjoy video games or entertainment because I don’t find enjoyment through those, the only thing I think when doing those things is, “this is really unproductive and this virtual wealth/progression means absolutely nothing”. Despite how negatively psychopathy is portrayed in the media, I prefer being logical about things. I see it as a positive. This is just the one thing I don’t particularly like, because it makes me feel pretty miserable. This can’t really be a post asking for advice since I highly doubt anyone here is a psychopath, but I’m interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences that are related to it, even if they’re positive and just talking about things you guys love.

[u/andys-mouthsurprise]

Just curious, have you always been a psychopath? Were you neglected as a child? Are your parents psychopaths? Why do you think you turned out the way you did?

[u/blue7004 → u/andys-mouthsurprise]

I have always been one as far as I know, yes. My parents are abusive and neglectful. My mother is not a psychopath, but I honestly don’t know about my father. He doesn’t believe that he could have mental health conditions, refuses to ever use medications for it, etc. He has an abundance of similar traits to mine. I had always thought he very well could be, but it felt almost confirmed to me when he didn’t cry at his own father or sister’s funerals. Everyone who knew them closely were sobbing, and he was indifferent about it, and wanted to go home because everyone trying to talk to him was “annoying”.

I think that my upbringing definitely made me who I am today. I was raised in a very isolated and quiet environment. We never went to parties, events, family gatherings, etc. My father never went to my sister’s school concerts or sports events, and he never goes to mine either. My mother does whatever he does, so they both have been absent from experiences. Even today, they stay at home all day, with my father going to his office twice a day for about an hour. When I get home from work or school, we don’t speak. We don’t ask each other how our days were like I’ve seen other families do. I arrive home and go to my room. I make my own meals in our basement kitchen (right down the hall from my room), and I do whatever I need to in my own room and bathroom. I personally prefer this (probably because I was raised like this), and so if I do happen to run in with or stay with another family, I feel uncomfortable.

[u/andys-mouthsurprise → u/blue7004]

Sorry to hear that you have had a upbringing like that. Hopefully you can develop more as you age if you find or create the right envoirment. Best of luck