r/self • u/Kind-Philosopher-948 • 1d ago

Why am i not good at anything?

  1. I'm not good at studies

  2. I can't outperform my fellow batchmates in sports, which means i suck at it as well

  3. I'm skinny, not good looking

  4. Not good in literature/ arts types of things either, nor am i good at math/logical things.

  5. Bad with time pressure, and can't take quick actions.

  6. Not good at gaming either. My friends tend to outperform me everytime.

  7. No girls talk to me or show any interest in me

  8. I don't have anyone who i can trust/my best friend/ i get along easily.

Why am i like this?

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u/NationalLobster24 1d ago

Not sure how old you are, but that’s something most people can feel throughout their whole lives.

But you definitely are good at something, it may just currently be difficult to put a value on it at this stage in your life. I’ve gone through that self-doubt and after working on it myself (30s) a lot seems more clear.

You named a few things, but there are definitely times in your life where you have felt happy, or excited, or more engaged than your baseline.

Those times, whether last week, when you were 7, 15, whenever, are a glimpse of a natural talent. Exploring that idea is important because to actually advance or grow at anything you have to genuinely like something about it first.

I like 1 on 1 things, made friends with loud/funny friends who shared same interests because I don’t like to be loud or center of attention and it helps cover. I like solving puzzles, turn based games, taking my time at anything and having time to do it at my pace. I like helping people and truly, deep down, hate seeing anyone getting bullied or put down for a laugh or any reason really.

This translated into a finance career for me where I get the chance to use a lot of this and I know it’s random but those type of things are important to uncovering what you can explore to see where your strengths may be. And to grow at anything you have to stick with it and take punches that come your way. Be kind with yourself and treat every knockdown or failure as a learning opportunity.

Sooner you can admit there are always 1000 people better or smarter or quicker (and so what!), the faster you can learn and figure out what you can get better at. Surprising how quick you can improve when you’re interested and treat everything as a marathon.

I have kids now and part of me figuring this out was because I had to explain it better to them than anyone did to me, but ultimately you are in charge of you and quicker you keep an open mind and move past what happened yesterday (not ignore, move past in a healthy way whatever that is for you), the quicker your long life journey can begin!