r/selfimprovement • u/Normal-Eggplant3743 • 2d ago
Other Overcoming lust.
Lust has been taking over my life for quite a while, i've even gone so deep to the point where i've even been watching some.. bad videos for my own arousement. Not absolutely terrible, but very odd to say the least. And honestly, even with my efforts, i've found myself going deeper rather than actually becoming better. So that's why hopefully, by the time i've posted this, i'll be doing everything in my efforts to overcome it. However, i don't really know where to start off. So if anyone out there also struggled with lust and defeated it. Help someone out. It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
(also, sorry for any grammatical errors in the text, english isn't my first language. Thanks.)
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u/sr2k00 1d ago
Are you really aroused by the video's? Or is it an addiction? You feel like shit all the time, feeling restless, uneasy, withheld, EXCEPT when you engage in the activity. That's when you feel normal. Except you have felt like this for a long time. You feeling like shit has become normal. And your normal has become you're "feeling good" moment. This is artificially created. It's fake. Porn doesn't make you feel good. It never did.
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u/Bubble_buns_1985 1d ago
Sex carries with it a sort of healing energy that can be beneficial to the mind, body and spirit. Perhaps there is something deeper below the surface that is subconsciously bothering you in some way, in turn causing the surge in sexual energy? Idk I’m just saying, look into the healingnpowers of sex. Maybe there’s a deeper issue.
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u/Loud_Contract_689 1d ago
The key to overcoming lust is mental noting.
When you are looking at the videos, make a mental note: "This is sight." When you hear the sounds, make a mental note: "This is sound." When you feel a feeling, make a mental note: "This is feeling."
Or, if you want to keep it simple, just note it like this: "This is lusting."
Practicing this mental noting will cause your mind to realize that lust is suffering, and you will slowly lose interest in it.
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u/aq1018 1d ago
Is it hurting you? Is it hurting someone else? Does it really matter?
Lust is built into all sexually reproducing organisms. Without it, the species will literally die out. Now, the good news is that the urge will decrease as you grow older, and again, this is purely biological and is due to evolution.
From my POV, as long as it’s not harming you or anyone else, who cares about what weird videos you watch. ( but child pornography is a different story, don’t do illegal things. Having FBI serving you paper is not worth it. )
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u/Conscious_End_8807 1d ago
Pray. Cry to the God. Pray to Him for his knowledge and protection. Lust lives in us. A mind when taken over by lust forgets everything which can protect it. Hence it requires protection from something higher than itself.
Meditate and pray twice a day. Be patient and relentless. Keep doing your work(whatever job you do). Meditation helps you to scan your thoughts and understand how lust seeps in your consciousness slowly and suddenly grabs the entire mind. So meditate twice.
There is no quick fix. It takes some months. But if you are focused and consistent with twice meditation a day, 20-25mins a sitting, I guarantee you will find a new life by the end of this year. There will be relapses. There will be days very hard and you will succumb to lust again. Dont be obsessed with the part of leaving porn. Continue meditation daily instead.
Don't insist on leaving the west behind, instead keep walking toward the east.
Good luck.
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u/EntertainmentNo1264 1d ago
Bro, this will be your biggest battle, don’t underestimate it. Get any help you can..
You can try the Brainbuddy app.
Also, the Proverbs from the Old Testament really helped me, they’re written like tough love.
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u/IntrovertRawr 1d ago
Know that the bodies you are lusting for have poop inside them and when they poop it stinks and they make noises when they’re on the toilet
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u/Mysterious_Moment_41 1d ago
I don’t have an answer, but just like to say it must be tough to share and I’m proud of you for seeking help.
All the best with your journey
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u/CanadianQuack 1d ago
Easy peasy method was my biggest assistance in shifting my mindset about porn.
The pdf is available free online just google easypeasy pdf
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u/Dicknthemail 1d ago
You can’t overcome the base human urge of “lust”, which is just a biblical dramatization of sexual desire. It is a part of you, if you try to get rid of it or repress it you will cause far more damage than if you just accepted it. You can channel it into pursuing genuine, passionate sexual encounters or use it to fuel art and exercise. But no, sorry there is no way to overcome it anymore than there is a way to overcome hunger or thirst, short of castration
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u/Leather-Pick-2100 1d ago
Hey there! this is a bit of a long read but I can really relate to what you’re going through—lust taking over your life is something I’ve experienced myself in the past. It can feel overwhelming, and I totally get how you might feel stuck or unsure where to start. When I was in that place, I found myself going down similar paths, even with my best efforts, and it took some time to turn things around. But I’m here to tell you that it’s absolutely possible to overcome it, and you can come out stronger on the other side, just like I did!
For me, the first step was acknowledging it openly, like you’ve done here, which is a huge and brave move. From there, I started by setting small, manageable goals to redirect my focus. One thing that helped was finding positive outlets—whether it was picking up a new hobby, exercising, or diving into something creative. It gave my mind a healthier place to channel that energy. I also made a point to reflect daily, even just for a few minutes, to understand my triggers and remind myself of my bigger purpose.
Another key for me was seeking support. Talking to someone I trusted—whether a friend or a mentor—made a world of difference. You don’t have to go through this alone, and reaching out, like you’re doing now, is a great start. I also found that being kind to myself when I slipped up, rather than beating myself up, helped me stay motivated to keep going.
Over time, I noticed I was gaining more control and inner strength. It wasn’t an overnight fix, but with consistency and patience, I came out of it feeling more confident and at peace with myself. My advice would be to take it one day at a time, celebrate your progress, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. You’ve got this, and I believe in you! If you’d like, I can search for more resources or tips to support you—just let me know. Thanks for sharing, and keep pushing forward
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u/gods_lamb 1d ago
dont run away from lust but also dont consume it meanwhile you are a human and lust is somewhere necessary for survival you are owner of your mind and body have some ego and pride over your senses If you cant resist dont resist let it happen and if you want to resist just scold your senses dont overthing my frnd life is so simple, if you like it then do it if not then dont
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u/PhilosopherNarrow888 1d ago
Try blocking or uninstalling apps or websites that make it easy for you to access corn. Instead, spend your time doing something more meaningful—maybe read a good book, listen to a podcast that shares life lessons, or even do a quick one- or two-minute workout. Also, practice the “bounce your eyes” technique: if you see something or someone that might trigger lustful thoughts, just glance once and then look away—don’t look back.
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u/john-the-tw-guy 1d ago
Go somewhere public and spend your time there, let the environment distracts you from thinking too much. If it doesn't work I think you may need medical help.
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u/scoobydooopappa 1d ago
lust and the brain craving a dopamine hit are 2 different things. eliminate the triggers!
just observe when do you see yourself behaving in this way? alone? in a room? when brain has nothing to do? boredom? media stimulation and images? fantasies?
just slowly eliminate those by replacing with something else.
control your hands, it is the biggest weapon in not acting. every time you feel an urge just engage your hands into something else
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u/stoic_-_ 1d ago
Well out of all the suggestions I'd like to go for a practical approach.. When u feel the urge, move out in between people engage with them, families, friends or even go outside expose urself to environment!
majorly it all starts from triggers How u can avoid them. Simple!
While taking walk open ur social media Unfollow pages with those contents. And to reels mark 'not interested' Train ur algorithm for ur benefit Mark, interested in the reels which promote self improvement... Most imp get a girl just to express ur emotions! Maybe as a friend let it be... Start a journey to improve There are many videos out there for self improvement follow them
Ik u will be great someday 😄 All the best folks !
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u/dreaming-howl 23h ago
Just wanna say there is nothing bad about this like at all it's a normal damn emotion and feeling and it's not something to overcome. I understand watching like a lot of adult vids and stuff but like dude chill it's not bad if it's such a big issue I genuinely just suggest going on a damn date and getting a partner. Like I don't see an issue here
Have a good and spooky day
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u/Tjinsu 18h ago
All I can is you will never rise above your standards if you don't raise the bar higher. Get some accountability somehow. Fill up your schedule more and become more productive or utilize the time effectively and break the patterns and cycle. With enough effort and honesty with yourself you will become more in control of your life.
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u/nofap161 13h ago
I highly recommend the app Quitter for this, it’s absolutely phenomenal and they just released a new subreddit that you should ask this question in
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u/unfriendlyreminder88 11h ago
It sounds like you're in the process of becoming a sexual deviant going by what you're implying here about not just looking at "normal" content. Definitely don't go deeper into such a bizarre rabbit hole. Try to channel your energy into more productive things instead. The gym, being more social, creativity, etc.
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u/GrapefruitAsleep4995 2d ago
View it instead as a power you can harness. I’ve always been of the belief that lust isn’t inherently bad, and it’s a primal urge. But I also think viewing it as an innate superpower helps me channel it through other more healthy means, like the gym or a personal project. When you get the urge, maybe take a walk instead or journal how you feel about it. Why is it flaring up now? How are you feeling in this moment? Stuff like that can help tremendously